by Jappio
What can I say - a great story. It makes me want to know whether Alexis and Nikki will go off and do a dual naked run together as planned and egg each other on to more risky actions. Thanks Jappio for writing.
A very good premise for the story, but you destroyed it with endless repetition. A thousand times you said she was nude. A thousand she reached down to feel her naked skin. Over and over she was nervous and over and over she was excited. How can you expect someone to read this shit over a million times. At the bottom of page 2, I started skimming, finally spending only about 30 min to a page; I knew that whatever you wrote would be repeated 10 X on the same page. You could have retitled it, "Nikki hides behind 75 cars."
It would have been great at 2 pages. At 7, it was boring.I gave it a 1 score.
A great exercise for you would be to rewrite it allowing yourself only 2 pages total. Every sentence should tell us something new. I promise you'll get a higher score.
This is absolutely meant to be constructive.
David
I would like to say I enjoyed reading this story.
Your character 'Mary' reminds me of a friend I have who is into this kind of thing. She's far naughtier than Mary, though.
Thank you for continuing to write such great stories.
Really great story. So bored with all these bare foot streakers. Putting your shoes on means you can run and jump. You're ready to go places and if you're naked we'll thats a serious issue.
mmmmmmmore plse :)
delightful story waiting with baited breath for the next part
Love - thrilled to read about something that I once did in the university like... naked and illuminated under a street lamp dreaming that I was being handcuffed to it... streaking naked, not down town but around the perimeter of my university... frigging my bald kitten while squashing my cupcakes against the glass front door of the library at night knowing full well that I the security camera was running.
Hate - most annoying to read that dumb Nikki had to repeatedly check herself and say Oh, I am naked and so exposed...
Hmph... that just about spoiled everything!
A very good start i would love to read more maybe the one becoming more of a sub to h er friend.!
Sans doute une des meilleures histoires jamais lu ...
Comme j'aimerais être à la place de ces femmes !!
I actually think this is your best story.
And I agree with Jessy69, completely. :)
I wish I could be put through the same situation. Being a guy its not as socially acceptable.
Hot Hot Hot. Looking forward to the next adventure when Nikki guides Alexis.
Author must have done this kind of adventure because the rush is described perfectly. Reliving the experience and now need to go for more! Great job.