No Matter How Late

"Don't go' she heard as she sat on the edge of the bed, partially covered in a blanket she grabbed when she had sat down. She tried to ignore it, pretending she didn't hear him and didn't turn around. Trying to get over the feeling that she had intruded into another woman's home, another woman's bed, and another woman's man, she tried to calculate how long it would take her to get dressed and get out. And there it was again, his plea.

Earlier that evening the decision to leave was easy. She had plans with friends and he knew that but he still pleaded for her not to go. They were both sober at that point and fully aware of what would happen if she stayed. She had wanted him, there was no denying it. Yet she couldn't figure out if her being there was merely to satisfy a physical need for him or if he actually had wanted her, too. Previously, he made that very clear to her....no matter how late she could return to him. No matter how late.

Eight months earlier

It seemed like the typical story. Woman in bad relationship stuffs all her belongings into a moving truck and finds a new place to live. Moving in with two guys was the non-typical part. It was clear there was no attraction on her part to her roommates. Whether the same was for them was something she didn't care to know.

Living with two guys usually means parties. Yet surprisingly their parties were more of a coming together of old friends, a very casual and relaxed time. Not the usual drunks messing with the shrubs in the front yard, half the party ending up in the pool, or property turning up missing. It suited her and she truly looked forward to helping with the plans and preparing food.

The biggest party each year was getting the pool opened. Friends came to help clear the deck, clean the pool and everything else that needed to be done so they could come and enjoy the pool throughout the summer. Living there for only a few months it didn't take long for her to realize that the door of the house was always open to friends and it wasn't unusual to come home from work and find someone besides a roommate in the house. Everyone was trusted and it gave her a sense of comfort, something she hadn't felt in the past year.

Since this was her first time experiencing the pool opening party she figured she'd help where she was most useful...in the kitchen. As guests poured in she directed them with their contributions to the food table and went through the introductions with her roommates. There were no friends of hers coming, the few that she had invited already had plans. She had met most of the friends of her two roommates, Jeff and Tyler, but there were a few names she heard and wanted a face to connect with the name.

Busy with getting food ready she didn't even hear the door open. She was standing with her back to the door and felt it. The sensation that she was being watched and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She'd felt this sensation before and the knot in her stomach almost exploded. In her recent past, it meant harsh words, accusations, fighting and crying. Determined that she had left all that behind she turned to face it. He was standing at the door, staring at her, and didn't move or say anything. He hadn't even noticed that his girlfriend had reached the door. She asked him to move aside and came over and made her introduction. Her name was Cathy, he was Tim and they were a couple. Of 4 years. And she had a son.

The party drummed on throughout the afternoon. She noticed a chill coming in over the fields that surrounded the house and headed upstairs to her room for a light jacket. The house was quiet, the pool had been cleaned, a few guests had already left and the remaining guests were taking up the lounge chairs by the pool. She came down the stairs and rounded the corner to the kitchen. She didn't see him standing there at the table, grabbing a plate of food and almost slammed into him but stopped herself just short of a disaster. He reached out and grabbed her arm to keep her from falling backwards and they both laughed. She noticed Tim held her arm a bit longer than a perfect stranger normally would and she found herself hoping he'd actually pull her closer, kiss her ever so lightly.

His words were smooth and even the most mundane of questions kept her in a near trance like state. Staring at him, smelling him, sensing him and almost feeling as if she could reach out and touch him without even moving a muscle. He asked if she was having a good time, did she like living with Jeff and Tyler, where does she work. She was certain it was all out of courtesy on his part but for her it was a good way to diffuse the smoldering fire inside her working its way to places it shouldn't be.

Aside from the fact that he had a girlfriend, he wasn't her type. Shorter than she preferred, wire rimmed glasses, and an air of conceit that she was sure made most women melt when he looked at them. For that reason alone, she didn't back away as he invaded her personal space during their conversation. It was clear he meant for her to step back and it amused her to know he probably wasn't used to women reacting this way....strong, capable and fearless in his presence. Had he moved any closer to her he would have known it was all an act. She would have melted on the spot.

Waking up the next morning she realized the house was empty. In an effort to relieve the nagging headache from too much wine the night before, she stumbled downstairs to see if Jeff or Tyler had left any coffee. She knew both of them were going to be gone for a while but didn't realize how early they would have left. It was a nice day out so she took her coffee and a book out to the pool area and settled in for a quiet morning.

She heard the car come in the driveway but shrugged off any concern. Whoever it was would find her out by the pool if they needed her and if they didn't, that was even better. She heard the porch door open and then the door to the kitchen open and close. Must have been Jeff or Tyler and since she wasn't their babysitter there was no reason to go in and find them.

And just like that, it happened again. That sensation. She knew what it meant. It ripped through her body like a bolt of lightening and she gasped. It was so strong the night before and it only happened when he was around. Tim was there, she knew he was close by and it shocked her since she hadn't heard the door off the porch leading to the pool area open or close. Since her chair was facing the pool with her back to the house she had no way of knowing how nearby he was. There was something different this time. She felt no reason to fear what had come over her the night before and now. This was heat, pure wanting heat and it surrounded her whenever he was nearby. It also surrounded her just as much as her emotions of confusion and past hurt did.

Her first reaction was to be mortified. Her messy hair was loosely wrapped up and clipped at the back of her head...an easy solution when one hasn't showered yet. She was wearing her pajamas which consisted of her ex-boyfriends flannel pants, fuzzy blue slippers and a fitted gray t-shirt. Oh god, she was wearing a t-shirt with no bra on! Even more to be mortified about. Clearly he would notice her rock hard nipples gleaming at him should he dare to walk around to face her. She had grabbed a sweatshirt but tied it around her waist thinking she might need it in the early morning chill. In all the grace she could muster she ripped the sweatshirt off her waist and slipped it on to cover the evidence his presence had created.

In her fury to get the sweatshirt on she ripped out her hair clip and almost took a good chunk of hair with it. Grumbling a few curse words under her breath she managed to gather her hair back up into the clip to try and tame her curls and that's when he spoke. And that's when she knocked over her coffee cup on the pool deck. Another cuss word slipped out and she heard him laugh. She turned to find him fully amused at her expense and shot him a look that would have frozen all the water in the pool in an instant.

It was her look that subsided his laughter into a devilish grin with just the corner of his mouth curved. He had the audacity to ask if she was ok and if there was anything he could do to help. She thanked him for the offer yet she really wanted to scold him for the trouble he had just caused her (both internally and externally she admitted to herself) but she couldn't figure out if she was angrier about the spilled coffee or the fact that his mere presence put a fire on her skin like never before.

She grabbed her empty mug and her book and headed inside, brushing past him without looking into his eyes. Before she could open the door she heard him quietly say 'You should wear your hair down more often'. She stopped, hesitated without looking back, reveling in the rush of heat she had felt when she walked by him and then walked inside without even asking him why he had come to the house. She knew why.

Summer was over and that meant only one thing at the house. A party and a bonfire to welcome in the fast approaching fall. She had seen Tim off and on through the summer and she noticed the temperature between them hadn't cooled, even slightly. There always seemed to be other people around when he was there and of course the girlfriend was a presence whether she was physically with him or not. She knew he'd be invited to the party and wasn't sure she could stand another close encounter with him.

Her ex-boyfriend had tracked her down even though she didn't leave a forwarding address or a phone number when she left. She assumed he had followed her home one day and that made her terribly uncomfortable. Already on edge from his recent phone call she decided a few drinks and some good friends surrounding her would ease that knot in her stomach.

She saw Tim arrive, said a polite hello and resumed her conversation with one of Tyler's friends from work. He was younger than her by several years but she got the sense that he was flirting with her even though he held no interest for her. He was amusing enough but she couldn't picture herself ever wanting him in ways that she had thought about Tim. Oh, the thoughts she had of her and Tim. Images started crossing her mind, glaring at her from within. She shook her head, trying to erase those thoughts out of her mind and at least appear to be interested in the current conversation, however dull it was.

She overheard someone mention more beer, blankets for those who hadn't come prepared for the night to get chilly and a snack shortage by the bonfire. She offered to go get extra blankets and politely excused herself from the one sided conversation she had now endured for over an hour. Surprisingly, she felt exhausted by it and thought the walk back to the house would do her good and wake her up a bit.

She knew there were a couple of blankets hanging over the couches and headed to the living room to gather them. The only light in the livingroom was a small table lamp beside the couch and as she reached for it his voice nearly made her jump out of her skin even though his words were barely audible. 'Stop' he said, 'Don't turn on the light'. Tim was sitting at the end of the couch drinking a beer. She asked him why he was in here alone and he said he had come in for another beer and found himself reveling in the solitude, away from the crowd outside.

Earlier she had noticed he had come to the party by himself and asked him where Cathy was, a formality for sure since she had hoped the talk of Cathy and Tim breaking up wasn't true. Cathy seemed happy with him and she had met Cathy's son a few times when they had come over to use the pool. Tim was the only father her son had known even though Cathy and Tim didn't live together nor did they have plans to get married.

Tim confirmed they had broken up about a month ago. He had taken Cathy's son out for the day and was feeling remorseful about letting the boy down. She thought it a bit noble of him to feel that way about a boy that wasn't even his own. Sitting down on the couch they spent the next half hour or so talking about the way things had been in his relationship with Cathy.

Noticing he seemed to be getting more drunk with every gulp he took of his beer she asked him if he wanted anything to eat, thinking the food might soak up any regret he'll have in the morning for his lack of restraint while wallowing in his sorrow tonight. He told her he was fine but could use another beer. Typical guy, she thought. She reached to take the empty bottle from his hand and stopped when her hand clasped over his. He wouldn't let go. She reminded him he was upset and that was perfectly normal and if he'd give the bottle to her she'd get him another one. A promise she did not intend to keep.

He released his grip and turned to her. There it was again. She knew he was drunk, knew he was pining over his girlfriend but she also knew the feeling on her skin that his look gave her. She also knew he felt it too. She leaned over to set the beer bottle on the floor, fully intending to stand up and leave the room. He had touched her, reached for her hair and she turned to look at him. He moved his hand across her cheek, passed his warm thumb over her lips and smiled. It was that devilish smile of his that forced her to look away. He brought his other hand to her face, cupping her head softly yet firm and he came in to kiss her. He paused, barely a breath away from her. She had closed her eyes, torn between hoping this wasn't actually happening and hoping it was.

He whispered 'Open your eyes, I want you to see what's happening' and she did just as he made contact with her mouth. Soft kisses that traced her lips made her open for more from him. He abided her wishes and slid his tongue into her mouth making it clear he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. Without her even realizing he had moved a hand underneath her she suddenly found herself laying on the couch with him beside her, on his side, still kissing her. It surprised her to realize she was so lost in him that just the moment before time seemed to have vanished. It was just them, alone, and giving in to what they both knew they wanted.

'This is wrong' she whispered as she tried to break free from him. She told him all the reasons why she was so determined not to let this go in the direction they knew it was bound for and every one of her excuses he had a defense for. It was no use and she knew it. They were both adults, both single, and both wanting the same thing.

It startled both of them to hear the kitchen door open. Jeff was there calling for Tim, wondering where he went. She stood up, collected the blankets she had originally come to the house for and walked out of the room just as Jeff was approaching. She told Jeff that Tim needed some consoling and he should go to him. Jeff sized her up and he could tell she was lying. She didn't care. Walking back to the bonfire it pleased her to know what had happened was so deliciously hot, so downright primal and it was only a kiss. If their kisses were this powerful she couldn't even fathom how it would be if they ever had the opportunity to go further.

Friday nights were reserved for her and her girlfriends. They had all recently discovered how fun line dancing was and spent Thursday night's taking free lessons at a local bar but on Friday nights they all met up at a busy country bar farther out of town. She had gotten out of work early that day, gone home to fix some dinner and relax a bit before getting ready to meet her friends.

The phone rang shortly after she got home and she answered it in a tone of irritation...clearly some telemarketer was calling to ruin her few minutes of relaxation. It was Tim and his voice made her gasp. He had asked for Jeff even though she had a notion he wasn't calling for Jeff. Small talk ensued but nothing was mentioned of the party a few weeks before. She hadn't seen Tim since then and figured he had slept off his drunken stupor and come to his senses. Perhaps even tried working things out with his ex-girlfriend.

The topic came up of plans for the evening and she rambled about how she was busy and had to go get ready. He knew the bar she was going to. He made mention that her route to the bar took her nearly past his front door and he'd love to have her stop by for a beer before going to the bar. She feared this was his typical line to most women, shrugged it off, told him she didn't think it was a good idea. But how she longed to agree, longed to tell him how much she had thought about their interlude and how it had left her wanting more even to this day.

He gave her directions and left it up to her. Told her no strings attached. She told him she'd think about it and if she had time she'd stop by but wasn't promising anything and hung up the phone.

She pulled over to the side of the road right after turning onto his street. She questioned herself, wondering why she was doing this. She was setting herself up and she knew it. But the stubborn side of her took over and convinced her that she would stay in control while in his presence and keep the whole visit casual. Just two friends visiting, right?

His car was in the driveway. She paused again and strongly considered leaving when he came out the front door. He was watching for her and now there was no way she could retreat. Putting on an air of indifference she got out of the car. He showed her around outside as she'd never been to his house before and clearly he was proud of it. They stepped inside the front door and the feeling hit her like a ton of bricks clearly meant as a sign.

She could smell the presence of Cathy even though she knew Cathy wasn't there and she had found out from Jeff that Cathy and Tim were definitely over. It was similar to a ghost spirit and she felt eerily possessed. Tim noticed she hesitated and turned around to reach for her hand. They headed for the dining room and he offered a seat and went to the fridge for a beer. She drank half that beer in one gulp and he laughed. Clearly, she was fretting about something and it amused Tim to know she was on edge.

After an hour or so of conversation they both knew was skirting the real issue at hand, she stood up to go. He asked if she'd stay and perhaps watch a movie with her. He said he felt a bit alone tonight and could use a friend. Putting his arms up in the air as if in surrender he said 'I promise, nothing will happen'. She told him she wasn't ditching her friends, would go to the bar and if it wasn't too late then she'd consider stopping by on her way home.

She headed for the door with him following a bit too close for her comfort. He placed his hand on the small of her back as if guiding her through the door. She stopped and turned to say a final goodbye to him and he stroked her hair off the side of her face. He was pleading to her and she knew it. He leaned back against the door and reached with his hands for her waist. She allowed his contact yet remained at arms length from him. 'I will stop by but don't wait up for me, it might be late' she quietly told him. He sized up her expression and it was clear she was looking for him to take control.

Tim leaned in as if to kiss her and she fell into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He laid his chin on the top of her head, embraced her and told her 'Promise me no matter how late you'll come back'. She slipped away from him and turned toward her car. She paused as she reached the car and turned back to nod her head at him. With that nod of her head she had just promised to give herself to him.

Dancing always exhausted her but tonight she was charged with emotions both raw and buried deep inside her it could keep her up for days if she let it. As she left the bar with her group of friends she knew it was decision time. She could drive right past his street and deal with the ramifications later. He'd just ask her over again and again until she relented and there was no denying it would happen. Her friend Kelley came over, put her arm around her neck and whispered in her ear 'Go to him, it's ok'.