by lambo69
they need to move out and live together. he could get a job in the town she goes to college in and get a house to live in together as husband and wife.
Story was good but was too short. Flesh it out with more buildup and throw in more about brother sister love. Plus, he took Advantage of a "wasted" girl.
Very hot and erotic.
Well written and a good believable storyline.
I enjoyed reading about the sweet love and sex that they had, thanks for the read.
Twenty minutes to penetrate her? That has no correlation with reality; that's not the way real people fuck. Your writing needs work. Written English is not simply a transcription of spoken English. It may be acceptable to say "grab a hold of that thing" but that is not the way the idea should be expressed in writing. Take advantage of the free editors who are available though this site . . . but keep writing, because your effort shows promise.
would love to read what else happens with Callie and Graham
Learn when to use passed and past. Your use of passed is incorrect. You also need a refresher on when to use drink, drank, drunk. Hint: use drunk whenever you use have, has or had before the verb (drunk). You sound like an ignorant hick when you screw it up. Of course, given you have a brother screwing his sister, maybe you’re from West Virginia? Or England? In that case, you are a hick.... :p