All Comments on 'North to Alaska'

This is not a stroke story, but has a theme and follows a logical progrssion. The two sex scenes are well done and there is a nice surprise ending. The character of the husband could have been better developed, but Cynthia and Jacuques are fairly well rounded. The story is nicely set in geographic and emotional space.

Major criticisms at these is too much telling and not enogh showing, and the paragraphes tend to be too long.

I'll start with the good. It was only a one page story, thankfully.

Now for the bad. Way too much narrative for such a short story. I felt as if I was being lectured and dragged from one paragraph to the next. You must be a teacher (lol). Definitely, you're a pompous, arrogant blow hard. Whatever you are, please don't write anymore.

Have you considered...painting?

That's funny. For a walking talking rectum.

Yes, a few of the paragraphs needed to be broken up a bit, but the sex scenes were quite good. Your work does need a little... well, work, but all in all, not a bad piece for your first try. Not bad at all.

Ignore the asshole. Probably never wrote a story in his/her life.

Keep writing. I say again, keep writing. This was a lot better than much of the trash accepted by Literotica. I did enjoy it. If I were you, I'd ask the asshole to send you a sample of his/her work. Send it to your editor.

Bet you don't get it !!

Anyone that would tell anyone never to write again should be told never to breath again. What have you written. I would ask lately, but the appropriate question would probably be ever.

This piece does lack a considerable amount of professionalism, but literotica is an amateur site. As that, this was better than most that I have read. And I have been reading literature professionally most of my life, and Literotica for several years.

I only commented because I find it unnecessary for you to stop writing. This was more than good enough to encourage you to continue. I look forward to your second try.

Although I will agree with some of the comments that you need some experience. That can only be accomplished by continuing to write. Except for the obvious short comings that have already been mentioned, I have enjoyed this story. And as one mentioned, I look forward to your second attempt.

There are many examples of successful individuals in history, that were told they would never amount to anything, or that they had no talent. This is not the case, in this case. Let me see another. I know it will be better, if not good.

Cynthia's sad marriage is well illustrated and her husband is a first class villain. A bit more about her sexual frustration would have been welcome. The Alaskan cruise is terriffic vehicle - much more interesting than hopping a plane to Tahiti. Don't think you need the lines about Jacques at the end unless there's more to the story and he appears in chapter 2. Well done!