All Comments on 'Of Water & Fire Ch. 02'

PLEASE, proofread some more or get an editor. I think you have a good story here, but your spelling is terrible :-(

I really like the story, couldn't really find that many spelling mistakes??? maybe I got a little wrapped up in the story.

I want to see more, keep writing!

Maybe I missed something in the first chapter, so it might not apply;but...

Humans, living together and passing thru adolescence, don't normally develop romantic or sexual attraction to each other. There is solid evidence available to support the theory that we are biologically driven to NOT feel sexual interest in those we're closest too just prior to puberty. A biological mechanism to reduce immediate family inbreeding. While it's also been shown that women tend to be attracted to male pheromones similar to their own most of the time (becoming more attracted to male pheromones very different from their own right around when they ovulate), it isn't males in their immediate family group.

Of course exceptions occur and this story might encompass that, but very little would have to change in stories like this one for them to become more believable so I don't understand why authors insist on adding yet another unlikely element to a story. Why force an even greater strain on the suspension of disbelief?

I don't know what's sadder, you taking the time to research your issue. Or leaving a comment which pisses on someone's story. No doubt it's part of the plot and yet you take the time to berate and belittle someone's imagination. Kudos to everyone who posts anything on here for having the courage to do so and all of it for free. I hope AnnaDreamer reads this and realises that someone always tries to piss on your parade but don't stop writing! Because flaws and all we will still be reading.