All Comments on 'Office Vacation'

Editor. Get one. Please. The story is great and more installments would be great, but you have errors all over the place. (I'd be willing to help, actually.)

is this a true story?

The concept has ptoential but you REALLY need an editor & proofreader that can spell & knows basic English & grammar. Good start but you need to evolve. Start with the writing skills.

... litereader54, BUT I think that if you are going to criticise spelling then you should get you own correct!! "The concept has ptoential ..." should be "The concept has potential ...!!

In all my 66 years I have NEVER heard a bloke describe his "crystal blue eyes"!!!

Blue eyes, maybe. CRYSTAL blue eyes?? NEVER!!

If you go to 'Index' you will find "Volunteer Editors - Find someone to help you with your writing."

Get one!!

And a Proof Reader!!

Good plot, and well timed throughout. I agree with the other comments about an editor, but considering some of the other stories I have read here, not the worst by far. Would like more of the story if you are so inclined. All together well done.

... the story is well paced, good plot and interesting dialogue. However, the grammar and the spelling almost destroy the story. Missing words, wrong words make it hard to read. Lit has an editor service and I would suggest using it - in fact you already have a volunteer - take Torso up on his/her offer. With an editor, I would enjoy further installments.

This is a great story as a first draft.Homophones are not your friend.There were certainly too many points of unintended humor. For example;"He reached for her waste".I imagined he was grabbing at a forgotten turd instead of the middle of her torso.Again, good first draft to a good story line.I want very much to read the next installment.

The next chapter of your trip.

Well written and developed story so far.

I appreciate all the positive coments and all the constructive criticism. I know my writing skills need some work. I blame the Michigan public school system for any and all errors. Part 2 is pending aproval, part 3 is 95% complete, part 4 is around 50% and the got nuked in favor of going a different direction.

Your spelling and grammar are so bad. It's so bad.

Good story. Needs spell check and editing. Jumping names. Hit story though. Looking forward to the next one.