Older Women / Young Men

While this isn't by any means a comprehensive list, here are some films that I've seen and a very brief idea of what they are about. One of the trends that I dislike is that often someone dies; usually the young man. I find this a odd commentary in that it seems that someone must be "punished" for falling in love with an unacceptable person. However, trends are changing and movies such as "How Stella Got her Groove Back", "White Palace" and "A Tiger's Tale" show couples (and by extension their families and friends) who cope with their relationship.

HAROLD AND MAUDE: A young man, (20) who feels his life has no purpose, drives a hearse and teases his mother with very realistic pretended suicides meets Maude, a 79 years young woman who embraces life in all it's forms...including the 20 YO Harold, and teaches him the joy of living for each day.

THE GRADUATE: When Dustin Hoffman asks the still sexy Anne Bancroft "Mrs.. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?" in his cute quivering voice I can't help but grin. Priceless. He goes from being a young man who can't even get undressed properly to someone who is so suave that all the bellboys respect him. But he's knocked back to geekdom by true love, and again raises above it. (On Broadway, an adaptation of "The Graduate" with Kathleen Turner and Jason Biggs is a box-office sensation).

A TIGERS TALE: Mother Ann Margaret isn't happy when she catches young C. Thomas Howell peeking at her daughters boobs by flashlight in his car. But he sets his sights higher and focuses on capturing her heart instead and succeeds. However, in this more realistic than most OW/YM films, the mother has a lot of misgivings and even gives him up "for everyone's own good". Something against which he fights tooth and nail.

CRUSH: Andie McDowell stars as a headmistress who discovers her old pupil has always had the hots for her. But more than that, they fall in love and plan to marry until her jealous girlfriends plot to break them up. Sadly, it works all to well and the young man is killed, but the friendships survive. "Are we having a thing?" She asks, after their second time. "No. Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a thing." He replies. Both grinning she shucks her panties.

IN THE BEDROOM: A woman with a young lover and a bad ex husband who wants her back. It is a very interesting movie to watch for the insights it gives on the inner workings of relationships in families of people in YM/OW relationships, but sadly, it is another movie where the young man dies, and from then on out the OW is almost totally ignored to focus on the parents grieving processes.

WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE: Johnny Depp, along with everything else going on in the movie, is having an affair with a married woman on his delivery route; an aspect of the film often over looked while the watcher focuses on his relationship with his family and new girl friend.

STEALING HOME: Mark Harmon, through a series of flashbacks, relives the summer Jodie Foster was his older woman teaching him about life, love, and sex. It's a very touching story, very well done. Sadly, he is having the flash backs because she has died, and left him her ashes in her will.

SUMMER OF '42: Jerry Grimes finds himself comforting newly widowed Jennifer O'Neil, who's husband dies in the war. Over the course of the summer he learns not only about sex, but how to be a compassionate person.

MILK MONEY: Doesn't really qualify here, but hey, I had to include it. I mean gee, a group of young boys pool their money together to hire a sex worker to show them her breasts. That counts, doesn't it?

MOULIN ROUGE: Counts by the same token, although Nicole Kidman's Sabine can't be much older than Ewan McGregor, it still bears mentioning. Again, however, someone dies.

UNFAITHFUL: The film is not judgmental of OW/YM, but clearly portrays the attraction as only lust. The husband does become upset that the wife is with "a kid". The interplay between husband and lover when they meet is quite interesting; a challenge between two confident men competing for a woman. However with different perspectives because of their age and because of their true feelings about the woman (one loves her, the other does not).

AMERICAN PIE: this movie added a new word to the English lang MILF, but in it everyone is a stereotype of one sort or another.

WHITE PALACE: YM goes to a fast food place and hassles a OW waitress, later, they meet in a bar and she brings him home. He thinks it's to just pass out on her couch...But wakes up not to the lovely dream of his wife, but to the waitress giving him a blow job. She's lonely, he's recovering from wife's death. What starts out as sex turns out to be much more. However, she has issues of how he views her, etc. After they work out the social/philosophical issues between them they pursue their dreams; together.

AFTERGLOW: While an older, sensitive but unfaithful plumber (Nick Nolte) initiates an affair with a younger, frustrated, childless housewife; his own wife, (an incredibly beautiful Julie Christie), falls for the housewife's own husband, a young self-possessed businessman.

MOONSTRUCK: Cher and Nick Cage fall in love despite their family's wishes and despite he's one handed. Very sweet film about overcoming all sorts of obstacles.

HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK: Angela Basset plays an over stressed business woman who is tempted by her friend to go to the islands. While there she meets a medical student/bus boy and is swept away. Reality keeps biting her in the ass though as in when his mother ask her to leave her son alone, saying she wants grandchildren. Her own family back in the states is also somewhat miffed. Her boyfriend leaves her because he feels he is being treated like a boy toy and not a man. But true love will out, she chases him down and they get back together.

Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN: Up for a Oscar this year I believe. It's the tale of two young men who hook up together and with a older woman to try to find a mythical (or is it?) beach. A lot of tenderness in this coming of age film.

EARTHLY POSSESSIONS: Stephen Dorf is a somewhat confused bank robber and Susan Sarandon is his hostage who go on a cross state run. They both grow and learn as they go, and there's some hanky panky involved before they both settle back into the lives they were meant to live.