All Comments on 'One in Ten Ch. 07'

YOU, my friend, are sick and twisted individual of low moral character and dubious sanity! I thank all that is fun and enjoyable that you are!

Yet again, you have surpased yourself. Thank you for providing some much needed entertainment that stimulates the mind by posing some intriuging "What if" scenarios.

If I wasn't straight, I'd volunteer to have you love children. (yes plural) I enjoy your work (almost) that much. Don't worry, my wife would object if yours didn't. I like a happy wife more than your writing so we should be good. lol

Please keep up the great work, truly enjoyed it.

How many times can Israel go in front of camera and reveal the same big secret to the sleeping the dream women ? I get that the working society not having major day to day problems might be not aware of some complicated problems and swallow like a good bird the official propaganda but the picture we are served here is slightly too drastic to be true and the average women cant be blind to the problems since as it is showned the problems leaked to day to day relations years ago and still they are ignored..The bad "guys" ( gals ? not sure how to name it im not native speaker) here are too coloured with the bad guy colour to the point where they not only are evil but also stupid. To the point that they are fast chopping off the sole branch of the tree that holds them in the air. That looks not real to me.

Chapter without Kuiko chirping her "hugs!" line cant be good :) 1 vote for more psychological stuff. More struggling with Israel past stuff vs hes new harem trying to help him survive the brutal ( not so realistic) society.

Already waiting for next chapter

Love the story and cant wait for the next chapter.

To the guy that commented below me. Go back to mars. Earth people are that bad 98 % are stupid sheep. 1.5% are blind to anything that is not what they want think and feel. And these are the people the sheep let run the world. The last .5% ? Oh we are called crazy for not conforming and thinking for ourselves.

I know you said there isn't any sex in this chapter but still it's damn addictive. Which is kinda saying something for the story if others agree with that. Though i can't help but picture if he does survive this world he'll either end up in some sort of facility where women will have to pay a high price to have sex with him. Or end up on some beach with the women that support him each with 2-3 bambinos a piece.

Though i do have one question though woudn't the women that support him be technically referred to as the "Israel-ites."

The guy can have an opinion, fucktard. I am not surprised that you consider yourself in the top .5% who thinks outside the box yet has to yell at a guy with a different view. Pot and kettle, ya know. If it really is that high of blind sheep, welcome to the herd, brony.

Smutol and I are in contact via e-mail and talking things out. I'm digesting his criticism, advancing some of my thoughts to him and getting creative advice for the story. I appreciate readers' enthusiasm, both pro and con. I know I don't get everything right. I'm pretty happy if I get most things right. Sometimes I have creative differences with readers. I'm proud we are not some grand collective of 'GroupThink'. I celebrate individuality. After all, every decision made is made by one person - you. Take care everyone.

On a seperate note though, i'm not so sure about Israel's comment about ending this world. The way he's going its even money which way things will go.

I think he meant Y O U R love not YOU love in his sentence about children.

Loved this story like I loved the rest. Keep them coming. *****

Another great chapter with Israel and co. Please continue with this dark sci fi fic. So our hero can survive the next battle.

I have the feeling that some major shit is about to go down

Finalstand is one of the best writers I've ever encountered. This forum allows him to explore the serious sexual aspects of a male-scarcity society. There have been other attempts, but they've been hampered by that difficulty. Israel and his friends are truly fascinating, even Little M, Flame and Dimples. These are fascinating people in an amazing story.

Keep it coming, buddy.

just two words-five star

being alone together

who expected profundity?

JC

This jumped out at me while re-reading. Not sure how I missed it first time round, LOL.

"Israel, absent male company, women read tons of porn," Eloise enlightened me. That had actually never occurred to me. Oh, I knew that most pornography was female oriented, but that it had a major impact on how women wanted men to be? Wow. How totally unrealistic.

Yeah, I liked slipping that line in and here I am, a Porn Author ...

James aka FinalStand

The major one was with the FBI. I get that they flipped sides, in a way, but I never really got the reason 'why' beyond 'they are survivors.'

I'm not sure if I missed osmethign with everything else going on but that might just be me.

Any explanation would be helpful.

JC

The FBI Manhunters, at this stage of the story, aren't on Israel's side. They are still trying to build the case against both Dr. Harmon and whomever in the Federal Government is behind the 'Big Lie' ... as the 'Big Lie' is just that - government malfeasance - a crime string with Conspiracy to Defraud the Federal Republic and going from there as multiple other laws have been broken along the way.

{As the story goes}

"We are trying to shift through the chatter and figure out who is really trying to get their hands on you," Fraklos clued me in.

"Montanyard is building such an air-tight case against you she could patch the Hindenburg," Vabishi stated. "She thinks she can hold them off a week."

{***}

The Dimples' FBI and Shelia Montanyard are trying to figure out who to start arresting and that means leaving Israel free, out & about. Israel's freedom requires public officials to 'bend' the law to bring him in ... which is against the law.

Again, at this stage, Dimples is still thinking about making arrests even if those arrests topple the current administration. She couldn't be more right as this does, indeed, go all the way to the top ~ the President. After all, saying "we did it for the good of society" is not a valid criminal defense strategy. This also means a bunch of 'retired' government & elected officials are/were part of the conspiracy and should be facing charges eventually too.

Unfortunately for Shelia, Dimples & Co., Israel has a much better view of the Big Picture than they do and senses when they realize they can't win, they will also refuse to be bought off, or otherwise silenced, so they will have to become 'self-employed'.

I hope this helps,

James aka FinalStand

Title says, it helps.

I didn't get the reference with Shella building an air tight case and the shifting through the chatter bit. It went over my head that they were actually doing their jobs considering they haven't done their jobs so far, are cops and we are lead to believe that most of them cannot/will not do their jobs if it involves putting their neck out - especially for a 'male.'

That still leaves me the quandry of 'building an air tight case' for what? to prove that he's right? But I remember it saying 'against you' soo it almost seems to set up a Dimples vs Shella situation in my mind from what i'd picked up.

again, probably missed something, but at least now i'm on the right page, if not the right paragraph ahha.

JC

You are correct. I did not make that clear.

They are building an air-tight case to arrest Israel (thus violating his Civil Rights in some manner) as opposed to simply tossing a few charges out there, dragging him into custody and then building the case as they move forward - which, as we have seen hinted at, the cops are more than willing to do when a male is concerned and what Dimples and Co. did with their Material Witness warrant.

The 'air-tight' case is for the benefit of Shelia's (and Dimples') superiors so those august souls can look on their computer screens and see their minions are making progress in the field, gathering tons and tons of data on Israel and can then tell their own bosses everything is A-okay should anyone make an inquiry.

Also, the 'air-tight' case does not involve 'The Cure' (which their superiors aren't even sure exists), but is about Israel being both clinically insane and a Menace to Society - thus treasonous and legally detainable. Remember, they not only have Israel's public performances and private FBI interviews, they have every tidbit Angel has turned over to the Vanisher Taskforce as well. All that adds up to further leads to rundown, people to interview and other busywork which bureaucrats love to see accomplished ... and time to be wasted creating that 'air-tight' case.

And all the while Dimples and Co. are trying to figure out who is behind the 'Big Lie' so they can make their real case against the real traitors.

Yeah ... I didn't make that clear at all. I apologize.

Ugh ...

James aka FinalStand

This thing has more twists then a roller coaster, excellent job on obscuring who's doing what to whom and what's building behind the hints. (I had to read that twice). This thing is excellent on twisting around. 5 stars

This is going to get nasty with lots dying

5/5