All Comments on 'Orc Dominion: Zentara Ch. 12b'

This was extremely hot. It's funny, the first time around I actually expected and hoped for the scene with Sir Drake to go this way. His teasing throughout the story seemed to be building up to this, and I was a little disappointed when it didn't happen. So glad you addressed that. I take it that this is the non-canon "Bad End" so to speak? It's ultimately a little depressing, but what a treat.

Oh and I love the way you revealed the Princess Knight in a way that makes us anticipate her appearance in the main timeline. She'd make a great orc bride!

Yeah, I can see why you didn't go with this. Bit of a downer.

Im honestly not LOVING where the actual story is going. I was kind of hoping that the queen and her orc husband would have a basic Happy Ending. But hey, not my story. And the direction you took at least allows for more stories.

Love it. Love it love it love it love it.

Thanks again for writing this alternate ending and taking feedback into account. It was excellent and I would give it 100 stars if I could.

I'm glad someone likes it, this is the lowest rated story I've written by far ;)

I still need to do an actual rewrite of the real chapter 12. Re-reading the chapter for the altrernate end was eye opening as I realized I basically didn't have to change the wedding celebration at all. Definitely way too dark for how the story turned out.

I also am going to make the final confrontation with sir Drake more interesting and write a new epilogue. The current one will instead be the prologue for my next story.

Anyway, I am glad some people liked a darker take on things. It was also fun to tease some of the characters who will be appearing in the future. Next week we should see chapter 7 of Rebellion done so stay tuned!

Interesting take. Not much of an orc dominion in the end I suppose.

Excellent read and definitely a good thing this wasn't a canon ending. Enjoyed how it went and that you didn't feel the need to hold back on how dark this alternate chapter was. Good descriptions and you handled it very well.

I also agree with you rewriting chapter 12 and look forward to seeing how it is redone. As for the new series, I think its going well, but for obvious reasons the audience wants more erotic situations. Aside from that, the storytelling is good and enjoyable to read. It definitely makes me wish to see how the rebellion turns out.

As for people down voting it, its obviously a very dark chapter and most people don't like to mix both rape, pain, and pleasure. However this is merely an alternate chapter and not part of the core series, so I wouldn't pay it too much mind.

Emmakendrick,

Thanks for the feedback. I am going to try and step it up with the erotic scenes and try to have at least two a chapter, some will have three. If they start getting stale or repetitive I hope someone will tell me in the comments or feedback. There are only so many ways to describe sex!

I think you will enjoy chapter 7 though, every plot line is going to have an erotic scene.

Hey there (is Ghorza's player) , Finally finished reading all of it! It's a great read. I was also curious when you were going to be playing again. Haven't seen ya for about 2 weeks !

Wow that was realy a very dark ending.

The scene where the queen is paraded through the city licking turoogs balls was very very sexy.

But I am personally not realy into the S&M stuff.

But I actually despise piercings and tattoos not only in stories but in real life too.

But overall I liked the alternative version. I is a nice variation. But I dont think it would be sustainable over a longer series of stories.

I'm definitely not a fan of this ending, it nearly brought tears to my eyes. Way, way too dark to be sexy for me...

That said, it was well written, as a portayal of slavery that's closer to reality, than my idyllic fantasies where slave and master end up in love. What happened to the kingdom was closer to Shingal than sexy, but I think the abandonment was the most crushing part...and perhaps a wasted opportunity for satisfaction in seeing a potential evil bitch punished, rather than a cruel tragedy. But, again, to each her own.

....parading her in public, shamlessly licking the balls of her conquerer, though...that was a sexy highlight!

I Love your story of Orc Dominion

But Hated the Ending, the Whore Queen pretty bowing to a foreign power A Orc

And giving them the Power was something I could stomach and was hoping for a ending where they are defeated. But I read the ending and stopped reading

BUT THIS ENDING IS DEFINATLY MY FAVORITE, JEANETTE GOT WHAT SHE DESERVES!!!!!

Where I wasn't a complete fan of the previous final chapter I did think it fit how the story developed. The revolt depicted here fits more in line with how I would have seen things develop as Tourag, Bodak and their fellow Orcs seem to have no comprehension about governance. Sure tribal societies can get away with openly brutal act of power and retribution but Kingdoms, Dutchies, and the like require a finess that they don't appear to possess.

For Tourag to not see the need to keep the Queen in place, gives insight into his brutal naïveté and understandably demonstrates why the Orcs never succeed in other such stories (They are the brutal protagonist). For Tourag to succeed he would have to be similar to Gengis Khan, attempting to drag the Mongol Hordes into a new and more modern era. That Dynasty didn't last beyond he and his grandson Khubli Khan.

No while this alternate version had some erotic points and some retribution pieces that appeal to some, it effectively ends the story. It now becomes a tragic tale and almost enters into the area of 'Who really wants to know this.' For tragedies to be effective there must be valued life lessons and this ending just becomes one of "Look how the mighty have fallen" or "don't engage in any form of Kink as it'll get you killed or worse."

like this one better ...no bad deed goes unpunished

Now this was the ending I was hoping for! It's a well deserved and very plausible end for our dear queen, considering she's been dealing with orcs. Although, as far as I understand, the following stories do not build up on this storyline, I am eager to read the rest. Anyway, you are a great writer, far above the level of the typical smut book, the world feels credible and authentic so you definitely put in the necessary thought in creating your storyline. I hope for those darker kinks in your future works :)

Wow. This is one of the best stories ive ever read in this site. The scene in which shes on her knees worshiping the orc balls, while paraded across the streets, is just awsome. The ending was a little dark tho; i whould wish she pass the rest of her life as the orc personal pet, being constatly humilliated in front of her people, just to remind her what her place is. Anyways, for me, there is something in the ethos of a powerful woman (queen/princesse/etc) being defeated and humilliated by a superior cock. Can anyone recomend me more stories about that?