All Comments on 'Oriental Peach Ch. 02'
by Ropecleat
- 1 Comment
thecarolinadreameralmost 10 years agoI see you have a total of 5 stories posted, so you aren't exactly new. Ch 01 garnered some negative comments, and unlike some Lit category Anon. comments these are mostly deserved. What's missing is any attempt to help. With your permission I will offer some advice--it will probably be worth just what it cost you.
#1 You can't completely depend on spell check. As long as the word you actually type is a word, most checkers will accept it. (EX. To, Too, and Two) will pass every time with the possible exception of Word 2010. Mine often marks such words in blue to show me I need to look again.
#2 In both stories I see you used something like this [.]. What's the deal? Unless you have a purpose most other writers don't know about, stop. It's very distracting. As is notes to yourself, (this is where I want a new chapter) or something like that.
#3 Proofread, proofread, proofread! You have many errors which should have been caught by proofreading. I recommend you read your finished work off the monitor several times, correcting any problems, then print the story. The next day sit down and read it aloud, either to another or to yourself, from the printed copy, red marking as appropriate. I expect you'll have more red marks than you expected. We pick up errors easier from paper.
#4 Watch out for point of view problems. I think another commenter mentioned that,but I didn't personally catch it. However, I know it's a mistake that's easy to make, I have done it many times. I did catch you switching tense, another thing that's easy to do. Remember, you are telling us a story that has already happened; you must use PAST TENSE. (Bud had----he didn't has)
Now, beside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the show? You have a good story and it's well told. Some will say it the same old story, but they forget there are no new plots, just new twist to old plots, and I'd say you twisted this one very well.
Please take this comment in the manner it was intended; a help, not a putdown.
KEEP WRITING!
