All Comments on 'Out of Focus Pt. 02'

good story but way too long or slow.

This is becoming very hard to read simply coz the MC is so pathetic⭐️⭐️

You do like writing a lot cuck angle stories. lol

Even with the second chance he pretends to be stupid! Where is his daughters DNA test?

Much more fun. Our MC is growing up

Hope it gets better

Having a difficult time following, but at least it's interesting enough to keep going.

Maybe the story got better later, but I couldn't get by the hapless protagonist and quit reading on page 1 of the second chapter. Unrealistic personalities, unlikely circumstances, unbelievable naive Lou. Not worth suspending disbelief.

I appreciate your reference to Kublicon's excellent recent "Play It Again" series, but don't make Flavian out to be a copycat ... Dude posted this story three years ago!

Nice work so far, Flav. Not sure how I've missed this before, but glad I've found it now.

*****

Only since he's not stuck on one day for four years, he gets to do-over a lot more of his life.

the first one was so wimpy I nearly could not finish it. At least he is taking some action instead of just taking it up the rear end.

And they deserve it LOL

How much do you want to bet he has to use the stone again and gets back in time to get and save Alicia?

Seriously!? Hey Flavian, how many days in a year? Worthless writer. I'm done with this Moron.

Oh, by the way, 1*...

Better by a tiny margin. The main character is only a 99.90% wimp instead of the total one he was. But at least he is trying to take advantage of his second chance. At least my interest in reading more will see me start reading the rest of the story.

and poorly written as well.

1*

A strange twist, but well done.

Wow I'm impressed. A seemingly poor sap fucked out of his life turned into a time-travelling fool knowing his fate and able to change the circumstances. Just a shame it's not possible but it's fascinating to read. Please continue...

Five Stars

He essentially, despite ALL this pain and suffering, has barely learned a thing.

I like him marginally more...but he is still a pussy. You wrote him this way.

I don't care he STARTED a pussy...but so far he has not changed much.

I'm giving your story 5 stars but the business with the stone was, well, unexpected. Don't get me wrong, I love the story but like someone else commented it should go under Science Fiction.

Excellent writing of course but did not expect to find this type of story in loving wives, should it not be in a different category gave up midway through this chapter, am disappointed but am sure others will enjoy

Best wishes to Flavian

I like stories that jump back and forth between telling the current story and also telling the story leading up to the beginning of the current story. Sometimes I don't. I believe this author has done an exceptional job telling the two stories here. Now we have a third. Since I am a daydreaming "what if" person, I love the new timeline that will give our hero a real opportunity to fuck over his wife and her father.

.... to spend with unlikable, nutless, waste of dna. I'm sure author can do better...

At least he is not paralyzed with fear, and did give his wife what she did not want!

Maybe she will even get preggers.... Pop should soon have a problem on his hand.

The loss of Alicia was painful.

Keep it going. Thanks for sharing.

So far, it sucks! When does the "hero" get some gonads? Cheers!

I almost missed this story. The first part was in Non-Erotic. I NEVER look at Non-Erotic. This Part appeared in LW. What happens if the next part appears in some other category. That's just stupid. A serial should carry the category of the main theme of the story.

Anyway, glad I found it. I'll even forgive the apparently superfluous Vietnam Era background. 5* for both parts so far.

when seeking a gold mine, TK U MLJ LV NV

What are you and Francis M. good friends or rivals or the same person?

Excellent regardless.

I'm looking forward to the "rest of the story."

First chapter in Non-Erotic? I am a strong advocate for ALL stories in a series to be placed in the SAME category, determined by the MAIN thesis of the overall tale! In this instance, there was plenty of forewarning (and eroticism) to justify LW for Ch1 by itself!

Yeah, there is time-travel in the tale also, but the main emphasis seems to be prolonged betrayal by Sweetie and most of her family! Kinda classic Lou-Zer fantasy about what the guy SHOULDA done ... and, yeah, Hubby IS a loser! He lucked into an absolute minimum 'save' of his mystic benefactor! His ONLY two saving graces are working hard and productively for FiL AND being a diligent Dad to his wife's daughters!

Please keep the story flowing.

Hope its not months away. Good so far.

love Al Steiner's "Doing it all Over".

See title ;-)

Good chapter, and interesting, once I got to the last part of page two. You had provided us a summary at the beginning and suggested we read chapter one. I'm sure glad I didn't since it appeared to regurgitate chapter one. I was tempted to punish you with a poor score, but the last page was interesting and I look forward to the rest. Just please pick up where you left off....too many words is just as bad as too few.

Why not go back and save the "good" girl from a premature death and avoid the mess and pain w/ the wife completely? Still a good yarn and worth a 5 ish

The mysterious bracelet finally comes into play and provides an surreal escape hatch for Lou, who's royally fucked in ch.1. Now that he's better prepared, I'm curious how things will pan out in the next installment.

He should get a P.I. to follow his wife, he should get a paternity test.

Let him win big.

Let him go back far enough to warn Alicia about the cancer so she gets treated...

Can't wait for the next installment!