All Comments on 'Out of Gas'

Then

I'm confused. Is the point that this guy is a loser but has the ability to recognize a first-class rack with all the accouterments? In which case, why should I care? If this is the beginning of a longer work, just let me know. Your writing is literate, no obvious flaws, but good writing needs more than mechanical compliance with English syntax and grammar. Make me care about what you have to say. So far you haven't, but don't stop trying.

I giggled at the first paragraph the narrator Caysee spent describing Chase's boobs. And then

uh

nothing.

That didn't really go anywhere. Is this chapter one to something larger? If so, consider writing longer chapters where stuff actually happens and you can fit in some backstory.