by milfocker
Very well written story with a novel plot. Think my gf will love it.
It is a shame that so many of the commenters on lit seem to be teens with no concept of fantasy. I'm sure they would rile that there is no middle earth and going into a wardrobe and comming out in another world or waking up on Mars were silly. What would they think of Alice and the mad hatter. I feel sorry for them. Anyone that can't enjoy a work of fiction is a sorry lot.
This story was a waste of my time - of course 90% of the stuff submitted to this site is crap. The writing of stories should be left to those that have a little talent. This rest should just stick to reading and jerking off.
Are you seriously trying to say that his gf was so engrossed in eating pussy, she didn't notice that he came in and got a blowjob from the same girl?
But then can you explain how two single girls with no jobs can afford an apartment and what would a man with a degree and a job want with either of them except for fucktoys. But to assume their expenses is stupid. That saturday she went shopping, whose money was she using? A woman paid for sex is a whore, if she is selling her ass to you, how does she complain if you want her ass? One thing really important is not to marry her. She is a slut who sleeps around, she wont change, and she doesnt care if you sleep around, makes you feel real secure with STDS and AIDS all around doesnt it?
I like most of the twists the story had (the anal, the cream pie, etc.) but I thought that it ended a bit too quickly at the end...
HOWEVER, I have to say, the moment I saw that you used "whilst" in the story: "As usual I still got up early on the Saturday morning, having a leisurely shower before having some breakfast whilst I made my fiancée a cup of tea," I started to cream...
...but I had trouble following some of that last part, and besides the anal aspect is a complete turnoff for me. Should have been labeled as such.