Paying the Price of Success

"His is a great talent,‭" ‬M.Gerard continued,‭ "‬he writes for posterity,‭ ‬you play for the moment,‭ ‬his talent will endure,‭ ‬yours will be lost unless.‭"

"Unless,‭ ‬Jean-Paul‭?" ‬she asked,‭ "‬Unless of all the whores in Christendom he pokes me‭!"

"Don't be crude,‭ ‬my dear,‭ ‬you can be his inspiration.‭" ‬he suggested.

‭"‬But I do not know him‭!" ‬she explained.

‭"‬My dear,‭ ‬as you said the world over girls wait in rooms,‭ ‬or on street corners for strangers to use them,‭ ‬surely you realise you are no better or worse than any street prostitute,‭ ‬all are equal in the sight of god,‭ ‬or do you not believe this.‭?"

"So I offer myself to Mr Stainforth.‭" ‬she asked bluntly.

‭"‬Yes.‭" ‬he replied.‭ "‬The tray is on the trolley outside,‭ ‬and he is in the green room to the left.‭"

Michelle stood up,‭ ‬brushed the crumbs from her pubic hair and slipped the black uniform on,‭ ‬it barely covered her sex,‭ ‬the cleavage reached her navel and barely contained her elegant though hardly oversized breasts and she posed seductively,‭ ‬yet coldly and sarcastically for M.Gerard before she walked from the room,‭ ‬grasped the tray and set off down the corridor.‭

"Come‭" ‬a mans voice boomed out as she knocked on Mr Stainforth's door.

She opened the door,‭ ‬somehow she expected to see an ageing Frenchman,‭ ‬but instead a mop of blonde hair and broad lightly suntanned shoulders‭ ‬leading to trim buttocks and muscular legs met her gaze.

‭"‬I brought breakfast.‭" ‬Michelle explained.‭ ‬He looked round,‭ ‬his unshaved cheeks covered by fair downy hair,‭ ‬his eyes piercingly blue.

‭"‬Well well,‭" ‬he observed‭ "‬I‭ ‬thought I told Monsieur Gerard what I thought of his goings on so stick the tray down and get out.‭"

"I wanted to talk about your composition,"‭ Michelle asked diffidently. "And your thoughts on my‬ performance.‭"

"What?‭" Stainforth demanded

"La Defloration,‭ ‬I played it last evening,‭ ‬did you approve.‭" ‬Michelle asked hopefully.

‭ "‬You ruined it,"‭ ‬he complained as he looked away,‭ "‬I called it project 99, not La Defloration, and I walked out," he said "Slipped away, I wanted to stop it, leap at you but you seemed so engrossed in it," he complained, "It was a serious work,‭ not a cheap pornographic joke, ‬I spent months working on it.‭"

Michelle stood stock still,‭ ‬usually only professors criticised her,‭ ‬those aged Maestros at the end of glittering careers.‭ "‬Ruined‭? ‬how‭?" ‬she asked.

‭"‬The tempo,‭ ‬far too fast for one thing,‭ ‬and letting that thing fuck you was.‭" ‬he complained.

‭"‬You put no time signature,‭ ‬only allegretto,‭ ‬a small allegro,‭ ‬is that small,‭ ‬fast or small slow,‭" ‬Michelle conplained, ‭"‬How should I be expected to guess,‭ ‬why didn't you put the number of crotchets per minute.‭" ‬she demanded as his criticism stung her.

‭"‬You should have asked.‭" ‬he said.

‭"‬Asked who‭? ‬no it was your mistake,‭ ‬but anyway I liked that speed,‭" ‬Michelle said,‭ "‬it suited me.‭"

"You have an arrogance that I find distasteful.‭" ‬he said dismissively,‭ ‬I thought you were a proper musician not a whore,‭ ‬I expect you just mime to other peoples sound tracks half the time.‭"

Michelle put the tray down with a clatter,‭ ‬and confronted him angrily,‭ "‬I have never done anything like that ever before,‭ ever‬.‭" she insisted. ‬His demeanour changed immediately.

‭"‬Look,‭ ‬sorry,‭ " ‬he said,‭ "‬I didn't mean anything,‭ ‬you were very good but it wasn't right,‭ ‬it should have been lyrical,‭ ‬not dramatic,‭ ‬please leave that and sit on the bed, I'll show you.‭"

She came to sit on the bed not close beside him but an arms length away as‭ ‬he bent down and picked up a battered laptop computer and as it came to life he selected a folder then a document and clicked play.

The sound was strangely metallic.

‭"‬That‭ ‬is not a Cello.‭" ‬Michelle announced.

‭"‬No,‭ ‬its an Alto Saxhorn,‭" ‬he replied.

‭"‬No,‭ ‬it's not a sax.‭" ‬she replied intrigued,‭ "‬More french horn.‭"

"It's a tenor saxhorn,‭ ‬a Baritone's in brass band speak, it's what I play,‭" ‬he said, "Back in England."‭

‭"‬It's not very good‭!" ‬Michelle announced,‭ "‬but I see what you mean about Tempo.‭"

"It's why I started composing,‭ ‬there's always a better player around,‭ ‬but I thought,‭ ‬you know when I won Monsieur Gerard's composition prize,‭ ‬I thought maybe I had made it.‭" ‬he said sadly.

‭"‬And it was just so Jean-Paul could play a silly game and humiliate me,‭" ‬Michelle suggested.

‭"‬What do you really think of my music‭?" ‬he asked earnestly,‭ ‬Michelle looked into his deep blue eyes,‭ ‬framed by his pale soft skin,‭ ‬the golden down of his unshaved stubble complementing his blonde hair.

‭"‬It is so much better played slower,‭ ‬so sensuous,‭ ‬tender,‭ ‬gentle,‭ ‬not raw but.‭" ‬she said.

‭"‬But what did you think‭!" ‬he asked so she thought hard and looked away.

‭"‬It needs more,‭ ‬ah..‭" ‬she paused,‭ "‬Passion,‭ ‬its skeletal,‭ ‬it needs more flesh,‭ ‬it needs.‭"

"Proper orchestration,‭ ‬backing,‭ ‬harmonies.‭" ‬he suggested.

‭"‬Yes,‭ ‬it leaves questions unanswered,‭ ‬you keep thinking about.‭" ‬she broke off as he rose from the bed,‭ ‬and circled round to stand before her.‭ "‬What are you doing‭?"

"Accepting your offer.‭" ‬he said as he undid the fastenings on her uniform..

‭"‬What,‭ ‬in the middle of a sensible conversation you suddenly want sex‭!" ‬she retorted in her confusion.

‭"‬So it was not a serious offer‭?" ‬he asked as he gently grasped Michelle around her waist,‭ ‬he eased her gently down to lie across the bed.‭ "‬Well‭?"

"Yes.‭" ‬Michelle said simply as he knelt placing his knees inside hers,‭ "‬I must,‭ ‬I owe Monsieur Gerard so much.‭"

"Is that the only reason‭?" ‬he asked but she reached out and pulled him to her aiming the tip of his staining manhood towards her own soft yielding‭ ‬sex.‭

"Yes,‭ ‬don't ask,‭ ‬just.‭" ‬she said‭ "‬ah‭!" ‬his warm firm body sank down on hers and his penis disappeared from view between her reddened lower lips,‭ ‬and then as he began to rock gently he began to hum his tune,‭ ‬and she too took up the tune humming to his tempo but an octave higher and then he began to harmonise.‭

She thrilled to the warmth of his penis as it slid easily within her,‭ ‬so soft and kind to her compared to the hardness of the black phallus,‭ ‬so gentle as it spread her lips which she had so carefully avoided spreading for oh so long since she had been involuntarily and unconsciously deflowered,‭ ‬almost four years ago.

She felt his weight pinning her down,‭ ‬the sensations she had been so careful to suppress now coming to the fore as her lover hummed the tune he wrote for her.‭

She found the experience surreal,‭ ‬but the pleasure profound and she felt she had found heaven,‭ "‬It's time for your tempo,‭" ‬he whispered,‭ ‬and then he went quiet as he began the gallop towards climax.

‭"‬Faster,‭ ‬that's it.‭" ‬Michelle wailed and she sang out Mark's melody as he climaxed and filled her with his love.

‭"‬Oh christ,‭ ‬I never used a rubber.‭" ‬he announced,‭ ‬as he lay still,‭ "‬Are you on the pill‭?"

"Then I suggest you become engaged to be married before you conceive too many children‭" ‬M.Gerard suggested.‭ ‬Mark looked across horrified at the M.Gerard's intrusion,‭ ‬Michelle merely stared in defiance,‭ ‬neither had heard M.‭ ‬Gerard come in through the side door from the adjoining suite.

‭"‬Monsieur,‭ ‬look I'm so sorry,‭ ‬like I know she's your girl and.‭" Mark‬ started to say.

‭"‬No,‭ ‬my dear friend,‭ ‬I am just her patron,‭" ‬M.Gerard explained,‭ "‬I merely manage her for twenty per cent of her earnings,‭ with ‬whom she consorts is her own affair,‭ ‬provided only there is no scandal,‭ ‬you will not kiss and tell will you Mr Stainforth‭?"

"Oh no sir.‭" he agreed.

"Then cherish her sir‭" ‬M.Gerard suggested,‭ "‬She has locked herself away from the pleasures of the flesh for long enough‭" ‬he suggested,‭ "‬Please make beautiful music again,‭ ‬practice until you reach perfection,‭ ‬practice,‭ ‬practice,‭ ‬practice,‭ ‬apply yourselves.‭"

"No,‭ ‬I can't,‭ ‬that was wonderful but,‭ ‬it's not right.‭" ‬Mark answered,‭ "‬You're making her do it,‭ ‬it's not right.‭"

"Then you are rejected my dear,‭" ‬M.Gerard explained,‭ "‬come,‭ ‬you have a big night tonight.‭"

"But Jean-Paul,‭" ‬Michelle called,‭ "‬don't I have a say in this‭?"

"No‭! ‬he used you and casts you aside,‭" ‬M.Gerard pointed out,‭ "‬Come get dressed,‭ ‬your public awaits.‭"

"I wrote it for you,‭" John‬ said quietly,‭ "‬I got your picture off the internet,‭ ‬I had it on my wall when I wrote it,‭ ‬when you had the curly hair.‭"

"Oh,‭" ‬Michelle replied‭ "‬Jean-Paul we need more time together.‭"

"Then Mr Stainforth,‭ ‬accompany her to the recital tonight.‭" ‬Jean-Paul suggested,‭ "‬be seen together,‭ ‬no more.‭"

"Yes,‭ ‬come with me please‭!" ‬Michelle pleaded,

‭"‬Really,‭ ‬you really want me to come‭?" ‬Mark asked incredulously.

‭"‬Yes,‭" ‬she said quietly.

‭"‬You were her first man Mr Stainforth,‭" ‬M.Gerard told him,‭ ‬the machine may have deflowered her but it was your music so you are her first lover,‭ ‬do you not feel a tremendous responsibility on your shoulders‭!"

"He's kidding right‭?" ‬Mark asked,‭ ‬and when Michelle shook her head,‭ ‬he held his head in his hands,‭ "‬Look,‭ ‬I'm sorry,‭ ‬right.‭"

"Don't demean her,‭ ‬surely you have never had a more intimate moment‭?" ‬M.Gerard asked,‭ "‬Either of you.‭"

They looked at each other,‭ ‬and both shook their heads.

‭"‬Then I shall give you privacy to relive the moment,‭ ‬you have forty minutes,‭ ‬farewell my children‭" ‬M.Gerard announced as he swept from the room.

‭"Mark‬.‭" ‬Michelle asked,‭ "‬Can we get under the bedclothes,‭ ‬I feel awkward.‭"

"Of course,‭" ‬he agreed and threw back the covers,‭ ‬she slid under the duvet.

‭"‬Make love to me.‭" ‬she said,‭ "‬Please.‭"

"Not before your performance,‭ ‬afterwards perhaps.‭"

"No,‭ ‬now‭" ‬she objected,‭ ‬as for the first time in her life she reached out to feel a warm live penis,‭"‬Fill me with your love,‭ ‬please.‭"

"Monsieur Gerard.‭" ‬Michelle addressed her patron formally as she found him in his study at his temporary home Chateau Mirron just north of Blanchimont.

‭"‬Cherie,‭ ‬has Mister Stainforth gone.‭"

"Yes Monsieur.‭" ‬Michelle replied.‭ "‬Monsieur,‭" ‬she asked awkwardly,‭ "‬Can I speak with you‭?"

"It sounds serious,‭ ‬are you not happy with Mister Stainforth‭?"

"Oh yes,‭ ‬he is a god,‭ ‬he makes me feel so ah.‭" Michelle explained inadequately.

M.Gerard smiled,‭ "‬I hear it in your playing,‭ ‬the innocent quality has gone,‭ ‬it is the passion of a woman,‭ ‬you have become one of the greats.‭"

"But Monsieur,‭ ‬that is what I need to tell you,‭ ‬to confess,‭ ‬I was not a virgin.‭"

M.Gerard smiled at her.‭ "‬I know‭!‬,‭ ‬and how you struggled to be celibate,‭ ‬it was awful to watch‭!"

"You knew‭!" ‬she squealed.

‭"‬I said if you cheated you would belong to me,‭ ‬do you remember‭?"

"Yes,‭" ‬she agreed.

‭"‬Then undress.‭" he ordered

"What‭?" Michelle exclaimed in alarm.

"Undress,‭ ‬I shall sample your charms,‭ ‬quickly now.‭" he insisted.

"No‭!" she refused firmly absolutely.

"Then it is decided,‭ ‬I shall offer you to the servants.‭" he chuckled.

"All right.‭" Michelle agreed, "I promised I keep my word."

"No,‭ ‬Michele,‭ it is not all right, " M.Gerard continued, "Y‬ou shall marry whom you choose, make love to whom you choose, but choose wisely, our bargain is complete, you are complete and you belong to me."

"I don't understand," Michelle protested.

"It is history, you are my Protege, I your Patron," he explained, "It is widely known, indeed I have ensured it is so, and no matter what happens that cannot be changed."

"So I always belong, as in, will be associated with you?" she asked.

"Indeed," he explained, "I don't need sexual gratification from you, no instead I crave the sensual gratification from your future performances."

"Monsieur?" she exclaimed.

"Yes!" he said, "Exactly! and now you are of age and must explore sensuality and sexuality, and choose your own partners, I have chosen for you, but it is for you to decide whether he should be the one."

"Yes Monsieur," Michelle replied, "I understand."

"He has taken the train?" M.Gerard asked.

"Yes," she agreed. "He doesn't like flying."

"Then the telephone Michelle, ask him to return, you have engagements, you can perform his composition, MS 99." M.Gerard suggested, "Introduce him as the composer and support him as he writes more, become his Patron as well as his lover?"

"Oh," Michelle recoiled at the thought of the commitment, then she decided "I shall, yes I shall."

"Then use my telephone Michelle, I have the number here. in the memory, see."

She took his phone and pressed call, "Mark," she asked, "Michelle, I miss you,"

"I miss you too." he admitted.

"Come back," she said.

"Where?" he asked.

"Hotel du Sud?" she suggested, "I have a suite."

"Three?" Mark suggested, "Three o'clock."

"Ah," Michelle stared around.

"If you hurry but say six, then you can take your time, let the wind flow through your hair," M.Gerard suggested.

"Six?" she suggested.

"Yes!" Mark agreed.

They made their separate ways to the hotel and they met in the foyer, made their way up stairs to the bed room and there in the luxury of a king size bed they made love, deep satisfying love.

Deep satisfying inspirational love, varied love, in four movements, the overture short indeed rushed and inadequate, then the long appassionato movement in a double waltz time One two three two two three, with a tempo change to four four with a long accelerando to a pounding, urgent,marching, thrusting beat and then faster and faster to a glorious climax and then the gradual decrescendo and decelerando through the same double waltz time to a soft tender slow finale, disappearing finally into the ether as reality returned.

"I reckon we rushed the intro," Mark commented as he finally slid from her.

"Mmmm," Michelle purred, "Practice makes perfect.........."