All Comments on 'Perfect Mother, Perfect Whore'

Too long of a story. Break them up into parts. I quit after seeing how many pages there were to go. Just a personal opinion.

rgeat story. Literotica has ahd other stories like this in the past, and this one fills the bill as the one I read in 02. Keep up the good work.

soooooo damn hotttttttt...please tell us more about this sex charged bi family...nothing turns on women/moms like myself with stud/jock sons than being able to read about and hopefully share hot bi dad/son action with bi hubby...finally a post on this site.that gives women and real bi couples like us.. a major turn on..including a stud husband/dad who is a total muscle stud..and also admits being inclined for hot bi..and also admits that as hottttt as wife/mom is..so is his stud/jock son..and is totally into and cool with bi action with entire family..terrific....

It's YOU'RE as in you are, not your. And you used your're instead of your. A few other typos as well but otherwise, a good read

The length of the story didn't bother me, but some of the material seemed redundant, but overall a good story. Thanks....Rich

Nothing could be better.......sex with mother & father.....can't wait for next installment(s)..........DP for mom...dad and son sucking and fucking.......ahhh yesssss

I hope there is a second part. Very hot! Keep up the great work.

BEST STORY EVER! I came twicw while reading. Soooo Hot and dirty. What a perfect family!!!

Fantastic story hope to read more. Mother is a real whore and slut and demonstrates her total love for her men by her wanton actions. Bi-sexual theme is a great add on and really adds to the eroticism of the entire tale. Any number of scenarios is possible with your story line.

Loved this - what a true fucking whore this bitch is. Loved the way this slut was so eager to fuck both husband and son, especially at the same time! Even quite liked the bi-action, despite that not being my thing normally. RealIy fitted this story really well. This slut definitely needs some DP action and to get fucked really hard in the arse. Pity there was only the one description of the son fucking his mother, would have liked a lot more. Room for a follow-up?

Wonderfully written story, incredibly hot.

Just an Awesome story.

Very well written and highly erotic!

Extra lines must be omitted to make the story short and to go at a faster pace with more action to keep the readers guessing and wanting more. I am not comfy with the Bi thing but that's me.

do not listen to the 'expert editors' here. i loved it, if someone doesn't like the bi side . . . why did they read it all??? BS, they have to tell themselves they didn't like it so they beleive they are not bi. pussy!! it was a great story, incest, bi, 3way, i "arrived" 3 times reading it and hope you write more like it.

thank you for sharing your story.

There are just too many issues detracting from the quality of the story. First and foremost, you, like most writers here, need a proofreader. I think Literotica provides contact info for them. Not only will they point out obvious typos, etc., but they will also let you know when things aren't flowing smoothly, and thus detracting from the overall story.

Secondly, you need to build an outline prior to writing to help flesh out your ideas as well as the transition points. This particular story reads like a collage of ideas/situations haphazardly thrown together.

Thirdly, you need to develop your characters more, in order to make them more believable. This is important because your storyline already asks us to suspend our disbelief a great deal. Moreover, it also gives the reader an opportunity to identify with the characters to some degree. Poor character development makes that effort more difficult, if not impossible. For example, in this story, all of your characters just seem to be obsessed with sex.

Finally, you need to work on your dialog/voice. This is probably the most difficult aspect of writing. For example, "Sperm," she gasped. Out loud she asked, "Why Eric? Why did you do this to me?" 'I've raised a pervert,' she'd cried.; very theatrical but not all believable. Or, as Shakespeare's queen in Hamlet said, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

I realize you have written more since this story, and therefore you may have already implemented some of my suggestions. If not, I hope you will consider them. Good luck!

I really liked your store, once I started it I could not wait to see what Mia was going to do next.

one of the best stories by far,brilliantly written..

Loved this story. Could have done without the son sucking cock but that's my hangup. Loved how the mom seduced the son making him feel like he was seducing her.

Need more stories like this .

Great story, well written. 5 stars

Your writing is incredibly hot. I was hard and edging throughout this and two others of your stories, and now my track pants are wet and sticky inside. My admiration for your erotic writing skills is unbounded.

ryeandgingerayle2@yahoo.ca

Its one of the very best I have read in a long long time

Once I started reading it could not stop kept me hard and leaking

The title is right on Perfect