Permission For Pleasure

When I looked in the mirror, I almost decided that I couldn't go through with this. My first thought was that I looked like some kind of cheap hooker. How could I go out in public like this? However, there was another little voice in my head that was telling me that I also looked kind of sexy. It was a feeling that I hadn't experienced in quite a long time and I had to admit that it felt pretty darned good.

I knew that Maureen and Bob were probably waiting impatiently downstairs to go. I made a decision. There was no going back now. I slipped on the matching bra and donned the rest of the nurse's uniform. I was surprised at how well it fit me. It was a little snug in some places, but I was pleased that I was able to get into it at all.

I laughed to myself as I reached for the shoes to the outfit. I should have known better than to expect Mo to go with the sensible flat white shoes that I had seen all nurses wear at the hospital. Instead, the outfit was completed by a pair of white high heels. I slipped them on and looked into the mirror again to make some last minute adjustments. I was pleasantly surprised by the results.

I walked down the stairs carefully. All I needed was to trip in these unfamiliar shoes and break my leg while falling down the stairs. Maureen and Bob were waiting for me in the living room, having a drink. Mo looked amazing in her skin tight leather Indian costume that barely came down past her hips. If all of the Indian maidens had looked like her, then explorers would have been scrambling over the top of each other in their hurry to come to the New World.

Bob was dressed as the Lone Ranger. I guessed that Hurricane Mo had claimed another victim. He looked absolutely ridiculous, but I knew his sense of humor and I knew that he would have fun wearing it. They both looked in my direction as I entered the room and Bob gave me an appreciative whistle.

Maureen playfully slapped him on the arm and said, "Watch it, Kimosabe -- unless you want me scalping you where you'll really regret it."

We drove to the large resort where the party was being held. This place would soon be overrun with vacationing skiers, but for tonight it was the Halloween capital of Vermont. There were quite a few people already there when we arrived and they were dressed in some of the most original and outlandish costumes that I had ever seen.

We made our way into the main ballroom, which had been decorated with coffins and spider webs and all of the usual Halloween accoutrements. There was a band playing at one end and a massive bar at the other. We went straight to the bar and ordered a round of drinks.

The next hour or so was spent in wandering around the huge ballroom. Bob and Maureen introduced me to many of their friends. Everyone was having such a wonderful time. I have to admit to feeling somewhat self-conscious walking around in public dressed the way I was. I was keenly aware of the sexy lingerie that I had on beneath my costume. I could feel the clasps where they gripped the top of my stockings and the silky panties felt so unfamiliar against my shaven mound. I had a second drink, hoping that it would help to steady my nerves.

Bob suddenly turned to us and said, "Uh-oh...Perkins, from the Office, just spotted me. Now I have to go over and say hello."

Maureen stifled a laugh and told him, "You go ahead. I'm sure that two incredibly sexy women like us can find something to amuse us while you're gone."

Bob pulled his pistol from his holster and looked at it. "I've got my silver bullets in place. If he tries to talk my ear off for too long, then I'll just shoot him and hustle back here."

With that, he was gone. Maureen grabbed my arm and suggested that we take a walk around to see what else was going on. We left the main ballroom and followed the sound of music and a lot of commotion coming from another part of the resort. What we found made me stop in my tracks.

We had come to another ballroom that was filled with a mob of mostly screaming women. On the stage was a young man dancing while dressed in a police officer uniform. I am using the term "dressed" very loosely here because he was certainly more undressed than dressed.

Maureen took my hand and tried to urge me forward, but I didn't budge. "Come on, San. It'll be fun."

Once again, I was swept away by Hurricane Mo. I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. Grown women were screaming at the top of their lungs while the police officer gyrated with the sound of the loud music. I had never heard women shouting some of the things that they were screaming at this young man.

Maureen wedged her way towards the front of the stage with me in tow. It was so crowded in there that I was getting jostled around pretty good. I few times I felt myself being groped. Each time that it happened, I would look around as fast as I could to see who was being so rude, but I never did catch the culprit.

We stayed and watched the rest of the police officer's routine. Maureen screamed as loud as any other woman in the room. I have to say that the dancer was quite good at what he was doing. He moved very well and he sure had the crowd of women whipped into a frenzy. Physically, he didn't look like any man that I had ever seen on this planet. He looked as if he had been created in some secret lab somewhere. Everything about him was absolute perfection -- not too overly muscled, but the muscles that he did have were clearly defined and they certainly were all in the right places.

A second dancer came onto the stage and once again the place was in bedlam. After a few minutes, Maureen turned to me and screamed to be heard over the roar of the crowd that we should be heading back to the main ballroom. Before we left, however, she pointed to what looked to be the restroom and indicated that we should go that way.

To get to the woman's room, you had to walk down a narrow hallway. Right before we got there, another door opened in the hallway and out stepped a shirtless man. It was the first dancer that we had seen on the stage! He turned sideways to squeeze past us. As he did, I couldn't believe my eyes when Maureen also turned sideways and purposely rubbed herself up against him.

Maureen gave a little giggle and made an exaggerated apology. The young man didn't seem to be too phased by the little "accident" in the least. He held up his right hand and said "How" just like they did in really bad old cowboy movies.

Mo raised an eyebrow and said seductively, "If you have a few minutes, I'll show you exactly how."

I was shocked. I grabbed hold of her and pushed her towards the woman's room. I quickly glanced at the young man embarrassedly and said, "I'm sorry."

Maureen cackled like a school girl when we safely inside. "I can't believe that you just did that!", I said to her.

"Oh," she replied, "it was just a little Halloween fun. That's all."

We made our way back to the main ballroom and looked around for Bob. Just when we found him and were heading over to rejoin him, I spotted someone in the crowd. The sight of this person sucked all of the joy and energy out of me. It was David, my ex-husband.

I hadn't seen David in almost three years. He lived in a different state now, so our paths never had to cross again. I could have almost kicked myself when I remembered that his mother's birthday was on November first, tomorrow. He must have flown back into town for the occasion.

I didn't want to make any kind of scene, so I told Maureen that I was going to the bar and that I would join her and Bob in a little bit. I ducked behind a group of people and made my way over to safety without David noticing me. I took the opportunity to take a good look at him from a distance. He still looked great -- Damn him! David had been a professional baseball player and he had always taken great care of his body.

Then I got a look at who was hanging on his arm. She was a stunning blonde that looked to be in her mid-twenties. I silently prayed that it was just all some elaborate costume, but I didn't see how any costume could come with fake legs that were that long and a chest that large.

Up until a few minutes ago, I had been feeling sexier than I had in many years while wearing this naughty nurse outfit. Now, I felt like an aging Teacher's Assistant that should have really known better.

While I stood there feeling sorry for myself, I spotted another familiar face at the entrance to the ballroom. It was the young dancer from the other room. He seemed to be scanning the ballroom as of looking for somebody. He must have found whoever it was because he started across the room purposely. I saw in an instant who it was that he had spotted. It was Maureen!

I put my drink down and dashed off to try to intercept him before he reached Bob and Maureen. Mo's little flirtatious indiscretion could result in a disaster if Bob found out about it. I got very lucky -- I reached him just as he neared his destination. I grabbed his arm and veered him off in another direction.

The young man tried to jerk his arm free and seemed as if he were about to say something when he must have recognized my outfit from earlier. I looked into his eyes and said quietly, "She's married...And that is her husband that she is with."

A look of realization passed over his face as he let me guide him away. When I looked back at him again he had a very sheepish expression on his face. "Good Lord," I thought, "He looks like just a kid."

When we were a safe distance away, I stopped and apologized for having grabbed him so roughly. He held his hands up in front of him apologetically and said that he was the one that was sorry. He glanced over at Maureen and said, "I just thought that maybe..."

I cut in with, "Maureen is my friend. She can be a bit of a flirt, but I assure you that she only meant it in good fun. I'm sorry if she gave you the wrong impression."

"And I assure you," he replied, "that I would never do anything to cause any trouble between a man and his wife. I thank you for keeping me from completely embarrassing myself. My name is Roger."

I took his offered hand and shook it. "Sandra," I said.

"Is that big guy her husband?" he asked.

I glanced over quickly and said, "No, that big creep is my ex-husband. Maureen's husband is the Lone Ranger."

I hadn't noticed Roger that had never released my hand. He gave it another squeeze and said, "Once again, thanks for your help, Sandra."

With that, he gave a little bow and drifted off into the crowd. My heart was still beating a mile a minute. I looked over in Maureen's direction. I don't think that she even knew how close to disaster she had just come. I saw that David was still talking with them and I decided that I would go back over to the bar until the coast was clear.

I was only at the bar for a couple of minutes when I heard David's voice behind me. "Hello, San, It's good to see you again," he said.

I spun around and tried to act as if I hadn't expected to see him here at the party. "Hi, David. What a surprise to see you here."

There was a very uncomfortable moment when neither of us knew what to say. It was funny to think that we had once been so in love that we never would have dreamed that we wouldn't have a single thing that we wanted to say to each other. Finally, David seemed to come to his senses and said, "This is Jessica," as he indicated his much younger partner, "Jesse, this is Sandra, my ex-wife."

There is just nothing in life that ever prepares you for the moment when you are forced to shake hands with some youngster that is sleeping with your ex-husband. I dearly wished that the earth would just open up and swallow me whole. Instead, something just as unlikely occurred.

I heard a man's voice saying, "Sandra! There you are! I'm sorry that I was away so long."

It was Roger. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and slipped his left arm around me quite familiarly. "I ran into Patrick and you know how he gets when he's telling stories," he continued.

I tried to hide my shock at this totally unexpected development. Roger looked up as if he was just noticing that I had been talking to someone before he arrived. He extended his right hand and said, "Hi, I'm Roger."

David had a very surprised expression on his face as he stuck his hand out as well. "Hi, I'm David Palmer." He had that same smug look on his face that I always hated. It was a look as if to say that he expected everyone to know who he was just because he had played major league baseball for a couple of years.

Roger acted as if he didn't recognize the name and said, "Nice to meet you, Dave." He turned back to me, dismissing David, and said, "I hope you're not mad at me for leaving you alone for so long. Can we still have that dance?"

My mind was spinning. Somehow, I managed to nod my head and we were off towards the dance floor in an instant with Roger's arm around me. When we had gotten to the edge of the area where people were dancing, I turned to Roger and said, "You are one very strange young man."

He chuckled at this and replied, "You're not the first one to ever say that to me."

His smile was another thing that could only have been created in that secret laboratory. His entire face lit up with his smile and he had the cutest crinkle at the corners of his eyes. I almost had to shake my head to break the spell that he was casting over me.

"Well, thank you for saving me back there," I said.

Roger leaned down and whispered conspiratorially, "Let's just say that we are even."

I said thank you once again and turned to leave. However, Roger still had a hold of my hand. He spun me back towards him and said, "Where are you going? What about our dance?"

I felt myself blushing and laughed self-consciously, "I don't remember promising to dance with you." Then I added, "I'm not a very good dancer anyways."

Roger just smiled as he looked straight into my eyes. "That's okay. I happen to be a very good dancer." Before I knew it, he was leading me by the hand onto the dance floor. "Besides," he said, "think how jealous Mr. Baseball Player will be when he sees you out here enjoying yourself."

Roger slipped his arm around me and we started swaying to the music. I leaned back and looked into his face. "You're quite an actor, too. You seem to be a man of many talents."

I was rewarded once again with that beautiful smile. One thing was for sure -- He sure wasn't lying when he said that he was an excellent dancer. He easily led me around the dance floor. When I complimented him on his dancing, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "Eight years of dancing lessons at Miss Longwell's School of Dance."

I couldn't help but laugh. "My niece goes to Miss Longwell's. Somehow, I don't think you learned any of the steps that I saw in the other room at her school."

This time it was Roger's turn to chuckle. "Yes, I guess you could call me Miss Longwell's Bad Boy."

We danced a while more in silence until he went on to add, "Actually, Suzanne is wonderful woman. She has always supported me in my dancing. She taught me so many things."

I thought about that last statement. Rumors had floated around these parts for years about Suzanne Longwell and her rather loose lifestyle. If it weren't for the fact that she was a former Broadway dancer, I doubt that anyone would entrust their children to her at all. It made me wonder what those many things were that she taught him.

The music finally ended. Even though a part of me wanted to go on dancing, I stepped back and thanked Roger for the dance. I may be dressed as a naughty nurse for the night, but the bottom line was that I was really just a forty-eight year old grandmother. The clock was striking midnight and it was time for the coach to turn back into a pumpkin and it was time for me to exit as gracefully as I could.

However, Roger held onto both of my hands to prevent me from leaving. "Where are you going?" he asked.

I smiled nervously back at him. "Listen, Roger," I said, "You are really a very charming young man, but I think it's time for this old lady to go back with the other adults for the night."

Roger didn't say anything for a moment. Then, he tugged me towards him while lifting one of my arms into the air -- making me spin around so that my back came to rest against his chest. He held my arms crossed in front of me as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "First, tell me what you see, Sandra?"

I looked about puzzled at all of the partygoers in their outrageous costumes. The music had started once again and couples were dancing and carrying on all around us. I wasn't quite sure what to say. "I see a bunch of very drunk people that are really going to regret it in the morning," I joked.

Roger's lips were near my ear. He whispered once again, "No, look again. Really look this time."

I looked again. This time I thought that he deserved something more than a flip answer. "I see people dancing and having a wonderful time. It is a holiday after all."

Roger released his grip on my hands and slipped his hands down to hold me in place by the hips. His lips were still close by my ear. "No, Sandra. What you see are people who are allowing themselves to have a good time."

This was the third time today that I had heard this same sentiment. First my mother had said it about going on her trip to the casino. Next, Maureen had said something similar when I had protested wearing this very outfit. Now, I was hearing the same thing from this stranger who was young enough to be one of my own children.

Roger whispered again, "It's okay to give yourself permission to have fun, Sandra. All of this is not just some kind of rehearsal. This is real life. You do deserve to enjoy life."

I turned around to face Roger. I took a good look into his face -- as if I were really seeing it for the first time. "How did you get to be so smart?" I asked, "What are you? Like fourteen or something?"

He chuckled and gave me that killer smile again. "I'm twenty-four years old," he said, "And I'm not smart at all. I've just been blessed with knowing some very wise people who have taught me patiently."

Roger's hands were still on my hips and without even realizing it, I began to sway with the music. My arms went instinctively up around his neck as we began to dance once again. I felt his hands leave my hips and his arms wrap around me. This is the moment when Normal Sandra would have excused herself and put an end to things. Tonight, though, I decided it was alright to give myself permission to enjoy the feeling of a man's arms around me. Maybe this young man was right -- maybe I did deserve to enjoy myself once in a while.

This dance was much different than our first had been. With our arms now wrapped around each other, our bodies were pressed together much tighter. I half-way expected the "Roaming Hands" to start at any second, but Roger was a perfect gentleman. There was no groping or mauling on his part at all. I liked that a lot.

Feeling a bit more comfortable, I laid my head against his chest. He was much taller than me, so I had to reach up pretty far to get my arms around his neck. This meant that my too short nurse's dress was pulling up in the back. I wondered if the tops of my silk stockings were showing, but I quickly put the thought out of my mind. Tonight I was a naughty nurse and a naughty nurse certainly wouldn't care if she was putting on a show for everyone else.

I closed my eyes and let Roger lead me around the dance floor. It felt wonderful to let go of my worries and just let a man take control like that. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment of being held close. I tried not to think about the fact that the man holding me had been on stage earlier in the evening, stripping off all of his clothes in front of hundreds of screaming women.