All Comments on 'Pop Goes the Weasel: Dying Thought'

I thoroughly enjoyed this work and the preceding chapters also, well thought out, a good plan, very well executed.

Peter

Dear Author - quite well done for a first - you learned and grew confidence - the next will be that much easier and so on.

Relax have some fun and contemplate the next offering.

Thanks again - with high Regard

You seem to have wraped everything up quite nicely. Thank you author. Well done.

You wrapped up all the different elements of the story nicely. I'm looking forward to your next effort very much. Nice job.

As I was reading this I saw it in my minds eye as a black and white film noir. It was a superbly written and expertly plotted story. Thank you for sharing it.

Daemon's arrogance was too over-the-top. I know that you, the author, needed a device to portray his underlying character, but it just wasn't plausible that, even if he actually was that arrogant, that it wouldn't be sublimated by the fear and caution that his vulnerable position demanded. The response you portrayed made him too unbelievable and more like a caricature. This made his demise feel like cartoon violence, rather than something that happened to a real person, which lessened the impact of the events in the story and Victoria's resulting emotions.

I enjoyed the story very much.

Okay... when is the next one coming out!

Brilliant ending,bring on the next story.

I found your writing to be most refreshing. As the author, it is your prerogative to make Daemon as arrogantly stupid and Victoria as clever and computer savvy as you wish them to be. It may not be logical but this is, after all, LITEROTICA. Did Daemon deserve to die? For cheating on his wife possibly not (castration with a blunt knife would be more appropriate) but for cheating on his gangster boss, Gianni might think differently - it’s a matter of honour! LadyCibelle, altogether a great story, well constructed with excellent characterization. The sex was not oppressive being just enough to titillate those readers of LITEROTICA with discerning tastes. You have a future full of promise

Wasn't the tape recording coincidence a little contrived?

excellent

LadyCibelle this was my first story of yours. I generally don't read much “loving Wives” but it came up as a reference for another story I read so I thought I'd try it. I read all three chapters and I like it. It is well written and edited. The scenes were well thought out and choreographed. The characters were well thought out and developed. As a man I would have liked a little more sex/passion but that is a minor complaint when looking at the larger picture of the story. Please keep writing...

There is only one thing that I feel missing from this story and that is Gianni telling of what had happened to his wife subsequent to finding out about Daemon's betrayals. For all of Gianni's ruthlessness he has a gentleness and sensitivity that would say to me that he would have treated his wife with understanding and mercy, realizing that she was as much a victim of Daemon's treachery as himself and Victoria.

Perhaps Gianni's wife would be re-cognizant of Gianni's jealousy and have difficulty coping with the fear of discovery, perhaps to the point of a nervous breakdown. I could not see a person as caring as Gianni, who showed such concern for the wronged wife of Daemon, would not show the same if not more care and concern for his own wife.

Otherwise I enjoyed this masterful tale of the human condition. Worth more than the five points awarded.

This was a confusing line:

"Now she understood better why Gianni had told her she hadn't killed anybody. Daemon could have lived if Gianni hadn't shot him again and again after she left that night."

Not sure how that bit of information changes things. She still restrained him. She still told him she wanted him to kill her hubby. She is as guilty. What does it matter if he was shot before or after she walked out? She still walked out.

It was a well thought out and completed story

Daemon earned what he got - Victoria earned the new life she should get

Gianni is what he is -

His wife was not dealt with here - and I am less confident than others that she fared well - he clearly takes fidelity and loyalty very seriously - if he has children he would likely kill their mother - but 'exile" her, he might.

You should do more writing if i take the authors you edit for at their word you are very good at that - and this shows you are also creative and skilled as a writer in your own right - come back do some more -

I would have expected that the story would be excellent because of all the praise you have received as an editor. I will say that Daemon, working for Gianni, knew what to expect if his theft and seduction of Gianni's wife were to be discovered by Gianni! Daemon was a true idiot, not only for taking advantage of Gianni but, especially, thinking that his actions would not be discovered. If Daemon was truly killed with three quick shots by Gianni, he was truly lucky! (not sure what happened in the next two hours, referenced by Victoria). Dan

I just didn't see the Police being that stupid. An idiot would have made the connection between Gianni's wife and Daemon. They would have pressed Victoria about her reasons for divorcing, which, by the way wasn't a matter of public record, just her words. Sorry but I think between the cheating and the money Victoria and Gianni spent the rest of there lives in prison. Victoria wasn't some hardened criminal used to dealing with the Police and I think she folded like a cheap suit under questioning. Not a good story. Not a single decent, likeable person to root for. Just no fun to read.

Did a great job...

Was hoping you had more submissions but in one setting I read all your stories.

Thank You for the last few hours of wonderful entertainment!!!!

They were both in prison. Even the cops aren't THAT stupid. Fingerprints, a forensic accountant for motive and he made a tape of the murder for God's sake. Who is THAT stupid? Besides, men like Gianni don't let people that rip them off get away with it. He killed the man responsible. He knows where the money is and he knows Victoria knows both where the money is and who killed her husband. You really think he lets her keep the money AND her life? That's just ridiculous. Gianni and Victoria spent the rest of their lives in prison. Of Gianni killed Victoria and spent the rest of his life in prison. Your ending was simply ludicrous.

You write an essay justly addressing the DV scourge

Then condone murder for infidelity?? Really

Following PEATBOG and Anonymous in their findings, I would like to note that from a pure realistic and logic perspective, they might both end up in jail, but:

It's the author's freedom to add some fairy-tale flavor, which makes the story even more digestible, under the aspect of morality. Maybe it's a matter of balance...

(No: I do not justify violence, in no regard).

Ludwig

Just see my first sentence needs clarification:

it certainly meant Victoria and Gianni to go to jail, NOT PEATBOG nor Anonymous ;-)

Enjoyed the entire seris. You write a pretty good story. Having the.help of the Wanderer can't hurt. I thought Gianni and Vicky would end up together after his divorce. Maybe they will.

you won't see me using caps.

story ok. english ok, except for not knowing the diff between you and me and you and i.

a computer code would not run if the wrong one is used.

author used the wrong one several times.

Great story, we really enjoyed the read, thank you.