All Comments on 'Project Phoenix Ch. 04'

You could still use an editor, but this was good. I like the plot and the characters. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to reading more of this series.

more please, its going great

This is intense! I'm loving it though and I hope that Mcmahon gets dumped in space somewhere with his entrails hanging out. The bastard.

Either way great story, i'm really enjoying reading it and can't wait for the next chapter!

Happy Writing!!!

This just keeps getting better with each chapter. I like the way you are drawing us in deeper and deeper. :)

Great take off in the storyline. I know the Harvest kept dogging your heals in the beginning and you kept saying it would be different. I understood why some couldn't get past the fact that it was another story about a doomed race with men being used to continue their species. You took this off on a major turn finally and I'm really glad for that fact. You gave a great storyline. There is alot you can do now. What will they do? What are the consequences? How will they care for the men who have been hurt by this? And then you have Mitch and Dex's relationship.

In the beginning I felt like you may have been too quick in the part where things turn for them. I felt like you needed to soften the edges in the change in them. You kinda dropped the fact that Mitch was high and he was so damn angry that it was a bit like whiplash when he goes and reaches out to Dex reasonably and gets him to open up and had that contact with rubbing his thigh. He hadn't been able to look at him moments before and was on top of that asshole Sten. I think you had the right way of dealing with us finding out about Kay and them opening up. It just needed to go a little slower or even could have gotten there in the same time just eased into it easier.

I am looking forward to the next chapter. You really upped the ante and I hope you keep it going at that level!

You're killing me, please please get an editor. See how I used you're - as in you are - not your. This was throughout your (your, showing possessive) entire story and was so very distracting. I know you said that editing wasn't your strength, you should take advantage of the free editors they have on this site. I’m not a writer and I really do appreciate you putting yourself out there for us, but it should be your best work and I’m willing to wait a few more days for a polished piece. You've got a great story here, the comment above by canned pretty much said everything I had to say, and I am truly looking forward to the next chapter!

Yes I love the story but you need and editor or to use word correctli when your writing jijjiji, so it can be so much better ... also could you use some kaind of indicator when you go from one to the other that would make it more enjoyble and esear to fallow

I love the story for its ideas and as it has developed, but your spelling, grammar, and word usage seriously interfer with what your trying to do. You NEED an editor to clean up your writing. If you are dyslexic, an editor would make your writing shine.

I first want to thank everyone for their great feedback.

But to address the concerns on spelling and grammar. I know how to use correct spelling and grammar. However when your inspired and trying to type as fast as your mind is going there will be mistakes. I try my best to fix the ones I see; I do not have spell check. I'm aware of my problems with editing as I've mention in the intro, numerous comments and my profile. Out of respect for my readers I have decided to try and find an editor to soothe you guys.

As for the concern of rushing the story. To get straight to the point: I don't want to write this series forever. So I've sped up the story. I intend to finish this series and no longer write for this site. If I was to write at a slower pace it would take too many chapters to complete. But that does not mean that I'll just write anything to finish. I love my story and where its going and I have every intention of finishing strong (with an editor).

Again, thank you all for taking the time to read my story. In spite of everything I hope you've enjoyed the series so far. I appreciate your feedback and try my best to listen to your advice.

xxxYL21

It's free site, people; calm down! Spell check is one thing but criticizing someone to the point that they don't want to contribute to the community is too far. I hope you continue to write for Lit after this story is done and try polishmywriting.com for a good online spelling/grammar checker.

YL21.....your story is completely wild. I love it. I really hope you keep writing for Literotica. And about all of that crap on spelling and grammer (spelt that wrong, didn't I, hehehehe) I knew what you were saying and hell, didn't really care cuz I could follow along. Anyway, I love, love, love your story, please keep up the good work!

lynn

I like where this is going. keep up the good work. word of advice-- as a writer you're going to have negative feedback, you just have to take it with a grain of salt and move on. for your own sake, pls don't let anyone discourage you from using your talent.

As for needing an editor, most readers here don't understand that there's a very small pool of editors here who are willing to edit gm. lol, I don't understand how they can edit incest but put the brakes on this category, but there you have it. my advice, do the best you can & continue to submit, they'll either deal with it (as its free & they're not paying) or they'll move on to something else. whatever you decide, good luck and give it your all :)

who cares about the editing....some people just love to make a big deal out of nothing...some novels even have editing mistakes sometimes...this series has been wonderful and you shouldnt stop writing stories...love your work...love dex and mitch`s story and cant wait to read more...hoe chapter 5 goes up soon..THANXXX!!!!!

I've read some truly illegible stories on this site, but this isn't one of them. The story is solid, and the author is actively trying to improve. More to the point, why don't one of you geniuses offer to be an editor?

But I will say, Yaoi, you are awesome! From start to finish, I am hooked. I am so excited for the next installment which will hopefully come soon. Good luck with the writing and get it up soon!(:

I love love love love love love your stories! I hope that my Daydream series can get as good as this! You can feel the relationship grow as you read! I can't wait for chapter 5 to see how things work out!

Great beginning..you are developing the characters well. Good luck and patiently waiting for the next one! You are doing well! (yes, ex english teacher!)

As to the editing, we can and will overlook most things and remember, some people just like to bitch! Or is that envy rearing its ugly head?

Just uploaded chapter 5, it should post soon. Enjoy and sorry about the wait!

YL21

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Chill with the damn grammar complaints. It's ok