All Comments on 'Promising Danielle Ch. 07'

talk about police brutality! im so disturbed by thus family i think i might puke. i hope toby can save her or else its nit gonna be anything left of her. i hope her family suffers(terribly!)

My cousin is a cop, and i got to say you need to do better research for a story involving cops. I'm only saying this since i do think your story is going good, and want to see it be so much better.

So far so good. you can feel the outrage and her fear. Keep developing the storyline.

but this chapter was so far beyond reality it boggles my mind. If she is over 18 she can do what she wants, live where she wants and the police sure aren't going to help her parents kidnap her! Still, good story over all

Good, but as someone else said, over the top compared to the rest of the story. If Danielle is 18, they can't just yank her away. Unless the father has lots of people in his pocket, which he might, but which we need to know at some point. Also, what happened to Nikki? She's just going to walk away from her tenants when they're accused of such things? Doesn't seem in character for her even though we don't know her well. In fact, I think Toby'd be better to bring the landladies in on this for help. And how about Toby's father? He helps but makes no inquiries? There is a lot of good stuff in this story, it's just like you went a bit off the rails on this one so that Toby could be the hero is all.

yeah, this is good. but some disturbing facts: dani is 18, she is already an adult and can decide for herself. police brutality, not good...tasers? isn't that much? and yeah, the landladies pretty much did not do anything and they have dani there for quiet sometime. i believe apathy is far off. :)

aside from the above, i will still keep on reading. i hope toby will be successful and i hope not much breaking of the law will be done as legaly, it still might separate both of them. (just keeping it real here). :)

keep on writing...

Since the story is told from Toby’s point of view, that is all we get to see. His primary concern was Dani being dragged away, so the landladies may have been trying to help, but he was to busy to notice.

For those arguing accuracy, you are totally correct. In the framework that I was working in, Dani’s father had her declared so delusional as to be mentally incompetent, so adult or not, she wouldn’t have any real power over herself. In the real world of course, he wouldn’t have been able to make this diagnosis himself, but in the story he’s able to.

About the police: a few officers have problems with anyone disputing authority. Those three showed up with the Carter's to take Dani away.

I guess I should have explained my creative liberties a little better!

Actualy as an adult all it takes is a judge to take your rights away and give them to someone else. Just ask Brittny Spears, a judge took all her money and put her father in control of it. It is totaly credible that the police would mace and taser someone who fought them that hard. I was going to be a police officer myself and was in training when my brother robbed a local convenience store. I quit the academy when they pulled me out of training and accused me of knowing what my criminal brother did, though i hadnt spoken to him in over a year.

Perhaps I should have seen that one coming, but I didn't. Nice (i.e., captivating) twist with the rapist-Daddy arriving with toady cops in tow and papers prepared by mindless lawyers. The story just keeps getting better and better.

she never told tobo what her father was? they never consulted with a lawyer? social services? danielle knew all about her family and did nothing to prepare tobo?

she should be happy she doesn't get forced to fuck the family donkey.

what a pair of idiots.

the guy had no sense in his "attack" on the police. he gets nominated and wins in a landslide for moronic body guard of the decade. what a waste of skin!