All Comments on 'Provocation'

Great story, well written with a great deal of lust. Keep writing and maybe do a "Stella" follow-up.

That has to be some of the worst writing I've ever seen! The story is implausible, and in serious need of an independent editor. Other than that, there MIGHT be a concept in there which could make for a good story.

-- KVK

wishful,

A great read! One that held my attention. Just goes to show what a wrongful comment can cause. *laughing* We should all be so lucky.

duddle

You went from first person (I) to third person (him) in the same paragraph multiple times! Oh my lord, get an editor.

How is this done. You lost me at this place in the story, "He felt my thick, hot cream spurt deep inside her." I can't read stories with poor grammer, even if it hot. Please proof your work in the future.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Boyd

Provocative story, butt sum other readers are wright . . . the story needs editing before ewe lei it out inn Prime Time.

You're characters and narrative are hot and enjoyable, butt person switches really confuse and turn off us readers.

Sew Eye hope U keep at it, butt get an editor along the weigh!

(Hmm, how many rules can eye brake in this post?) Trying again . . .

Provocative story, but some other readers are right . . . the story needs editing before you lay it out in Prime Time.

Your characters and narrative are hot and enjoyable, but person switches really confuse and turn off us readers.

So I hope you keep at it, but get an editor along the way!

wishful:

I'm not going to comment on grammer or punctuation; I am the least worthy to attempt that. I will comment on the story. It is well thought out in that you have a young man not very skilled in his dealing with the ladies and a dreamer who allows his mental thoughts to get the better of him. You have a lady who is something other then the raving beauty of Penthouse. She recognizes something in him he can not see and is willing to persue it. A tale well told. Thank You. Ronnie W.

Ok so it had spelling errors plus grammer errors. SO WHAT?? Everybody is capable of making errors.

It was readable and in my honest opinion. Enjoyable. Hopefully a sequel will be forth coming

Where were this type of female in the 50s??? LOVE slap*hapy*papy. #9. PS no pill.