by Bazzza
Compared to the other stuff you have written - this is an eleven of a scale of ten.
Don't go back - you have displayed the ability to do much more in an entertaining and realistic manner!!!
Thanks and with Regard
One thing I appreciate with your stories is apart from being well written they have obviously been proof read and have few if any errors.
You took your eye off the ball with this one.
"She lifted her feet from the floor and wrapped them around her waist pulling him deep inside her".
Sounds a bit uncomfortable!
I haven't read any of your other stories yet (I think), but I felt that this story was really well-written. Kudos.
The contortionist comment was funny. Hopefully, you meant it just as a joke and wasn't nitpicking.
Saying that, I am about to nitpick myself... but only for constructive purpose
"the big Colt automatic handgun in a compartment behind the front seat; it was his favourite choice of weapon. Removing the clip, he checked the action and then returned it to its ready state"
Very few guns have "clips" .. If you want to get the terms right, use "magazine"