Rachel's Story

A half hour or so later, when he hadn't returned, I started to get worried. I wanted to go look for him but I had no idea where to look. Tom and Andrea live outside of town, I knew how to get to their house but much passed that I didn't know. I'd also had to much to drink to drive myself any where. Finally Andrea, who rarely drank and one to the other men, Bob, said they'd go look for him. About ten minute later the two cars pulled into the driveway, Bob driving his and Andrea driving mine. Bob came in right away, when Andrea and Richard didn't, I decided to go out to investigate, I didn't have to go far before I realized that Richard and Andrea were making out, Richard's hands were all over Andrea. All I remember is walking up to the door, then shouting at Richard, "two can play this game."

With that I went back into the house, at first not really sure what I was going to do. I wanted to get even with Richard I knew that, but all the men at the party were attached except Bruce, Tom's partner in their horse breeding and training farm. I guess, I'd better explain my reluctance of choosing Bruce as revenge. Bruce is a hunk if there ever was one. If you could ever call a man gorgeous, Bruce was that man but in a roughed sort of way. The only time I'd ever been alone with him was when he took me for a ride on one of his horses. I'd always wanted to ride but I was afraid to. One afternoon we were visiting Andrea and Tom, and as seemed to always be the case, Bruce was out working in the barn. After all of us had walked to the barn to see their new horses, I causally mentioned my desire to ride. Bruce told everyone he had to go check a fence, then added if I liked he'd take me along, I could ride behind him. Long story short, we ended up kissing and fondling each other, the only time I'd ever been unfaithful to Richard, other then those few kisses at parties. I guess if I was logical about things I should have just dropped it and called it even with Richard, I'd kissed Bruce, he'd kissed Andrea. I'm not logical so it wasn't even in my mind.

I think seeing Richard and Andrea coming in that door together made up my mind for me. The rest of the party I spent with Bruce, dancing, talking, and a lot of coming on to him. Yes, I was the one coming on to him not the other way around. By the end of the night he was kissing me and rubbing his hands up and down my back and buns. I didn't even stop him when he put his hand on my breast. At first I was more concerned with watching Richard's reaction then I was in what was happening between Bruce and myself, but as time passed, I more or less forgot about making Richard jealous and lost myself in what Bruce and I were saying and doing. The more Bruce and I did the more Richard drank, and by the time the party was over Richard was passed out on the couch. I can't say I was in the best shape either, I'd had plenty to drink. When Bruce offered to take us both home, I felt I should refuse. For one thing Bruce wasn't any soberer then I was, mostly I knew that if I let him take us home things could and most likely would happen between us.

The bad thing about being drunk is you don't listen to that little voice inside that normally keeps you on track. That little voice said no don't let him take you home, but my voice said yes. Bruce more or less carried Richard out to our car, laid him in the back seat, shut the door, then opened the front for me to get in. As soon as Bruce got in, I slide over to the center next to him, knowing completely well that this was sending a signal to Bruce. On the drive home nothing was really said, I'd have to say the signals were non verbal. Bruce putting his hand on my knee, me putting my hand on top of his, my hand moving his hand to my inner thigh. Spreading my legs as his hand worked up my thigh, my moan as his hand touched my sex. My hand on his knee, my hand feeling his hardness, yes very non verbal but so very loud. By the time we arrived home, we were close to making love in the front seat of the car. My panty hose and panties were off, he didn't ask I just took them off, his pants lowered down on his thighs, I didn't ask I just pulled them down.

I wanted to stop and I didn't want to stop. At least I told myself I wanted to stop. I decided to get Richard into our house all by myself, lock the door and forget this night ever happened. But as hard as I tried I couldn't get Richard to wake up, there was no way I was going to carry him by myself. I knew equally that if I let Bruce take Richard in I'd end up making love to him. So many things went thought my head, if only I'd have gotten a baby sitter, not taken the kids to moms for the night, I'd be safe. If Richard would only wake up, I'd be safe, safe from what, myself. I wanted Bruce, he wanted me, maybe it was wrong but it's what I wanted, almost to the point of a need. When Bruce came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me while kissing my neck, it no longer mattered if Richard woke up. If he had, that wouldn't have stopped me, nothing could have stopped me.

I pushed Richard back into the car shut the door and lead Bruce through my front door, up the stairs and into my bedroom, the bedroom I shared with my husband. I don't have a complete recollection of that night, but more then enough. I remember him being slow, taking his time fulfilling one desire before moving to the next. I remember oral sex like I'd never had it before, orgasms like I'd only dreamed of, not one but many. I remember the feeling of him entering me, he'd already given me so much pleasure, somehow his penis penetrating me seemed like the most extraordinary couplings, a most marvelous of finale. I remember how quickly I did orgasm during intercourse, not just once but a number of times.

I remember laying in his arm, him caressing my body, whispering little nothings to each other, things that at any other moment in time would have meant nothing. I remember kissing my way down to his penis, taking him in my month, something I'd never done after intercourse with Richard. I wanted to give him as much pleasure as he had given me. I remember thinking why hadn't I ever done this to Richard, Bruce doesn't taste bad, Richard's sperm can't be that much different. I remember as he came in my month thinking, I could get used to this, not because of the taste but because of the pleasure I saw in his eyes. His kisses afterwards, not at all hesitant. Bruce making love to me all over again, making better music the second then the first. Then with almost no rest in between, making love to me again. I remember being disappointed, not in our love making but in Richard, all the time we'd been married, not once had he even tried to make love to me like this, not even once had he made love to me in any fashion three times. Never once, had I had even one orgasm with Richard like those I'd just had, and never once were there more then one little orgasm with Richard. Most of the time doing without all together.

Bruce and I laid together until sunrise, both of us knowing he had most likely stayed to long, both of us wanting to stay like this longer. Bruce dressed, while I pulled on my robe. Bruce went outside to the car helped Richard out of the car then half dragged him into the house. It was obvious that Richard was still out of it but not nearly so out of it that he didn't realize what was happening. He looked at both Bruce, he looked at me. I should have looked away, I should have bowed my head in shame, I didn't. I didn't want Richard to know that I'd just made love to Bruce but I also didn't feel any shame. Bruce helped Richard up the stairs and into our bedroom. Held him while I undressed him, then placed him on our bed. After covering Richard, I went to the door with Bruce, we shared another kissed. As I watched him walk away, I was wondering, was that kiss, a farewell kiss, or a parting kiss of two lovers, I just didn't know.

After making coffee I sat at the kitchen table thinking about the night before. Thinking about my marriage, feeling sure that it would be over, how could Richard not know. He saw me in my robe, surely if not that then he was sure to find the signs of my indiscretion on the sheets of our bed. I tried to make myself feel some guilt, I'd just cheated on my husband, not just cheated but I did it in our home, in our bedroom and in our bed. I couldn't feel guilty. Regret yes, regret that he'd find out but not regret about making love to Bruce, it was to beautiful to regret. Regret that love making could be better with a man I'd only made love to this one time, then it was with my husband whom I'd known many times.

About 9 o'clock I went into our bedroom, Richard was still asleep. I quietly gathered some clothing to wear, went into our bathroom, showered, got dressed, did what I could to my hair without using my dryer for fear the noise would wake Richard. Going back into the bedroom, I watched Richard for the longest time, knowing that it may well be the last time I'd watch him sleeping. After hunting for the keys to Richard's car, I left, then drove to the point for a walk along the beach. The sound was so peaceful that morning, a storm would have been more fitting.

After picking up our daughters I arrived home about 3 o'clock. I suppose, I stayed so long at mom's to avoid the inevitable. As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed my car was sitting in the drive, and wondered if it had been Bruce who had delivered it. How ironic that my heart sank, when I realized I hadn't been there to see him. Not finding Richard in the house, I looked out the back window seeing him working in the garden. Decided it was time to face him with the truth and get it over with. Pouring him a glass of beer I headed out the back door. As I approached him, I didn't really know where to begin, all I knew was that I'd beg his forgiveness. I don't know why I didn't speak first, I was intending to just blurt out, "I slept with Bruce last night," feeling sure he knew. Maybe the look in his eyes stopped me but what ever it was I knew he didn't know. I sat down on a paving stone next to him, then let him do all the talking, all the apologizing about what happened the night before. When he was done I gave him a kiss, I even had the audacity to tell him, he was forgiven. Walking back into the house, then running into our bedroom, I tore the sheets and mattress pad off the bed and headed to the laundry room. Only after I started the washer did I feel some of the tension fad away.

That night after we'd gotten in bed Richard started to question me about Bruce.

"Did you like dancing with Bruce?" he asked.

"Yes, he's a very good dancer," was my reply. I now wasn't so sure that Richard didn't know.

"I saw you kissing him, did you like kissing him?"

I decide that it was best just to be honest, "Yes I did, I did like the way he kissed, he's the only man I've ever kissed like that, other then you."

"Did you get turned on from his kisses?"

"Yes I did, didn't you get turned on when you kissed Andrea?" I figured two could play this game.

Not answering me he went on. "You had to have know I was watching you. Was it all an act or was there more then that? When he felt your breast did you like that?"

I began to realized this wasn't an inquisition of me but a turn on for Richard. If this had happened at any other time prior to this night, I think it would have disgusted me. I hate to say it but his questioning about Bruce and myself was making me think about the night before and I was getting turned on thinking about it.

"I don't know any other way to tell you this, Richard. At first it was an act, I did it to get even, make you jealous but then I started having feelings for Bruce, after that you really weren't a concern. Richard I loved feeling his hands on my body. When he touched my breast it felt so good, I'm sure I wouldn't have stopped him if he'd put his hand under my blouse. I remember hoping he would. I longed for his touch on my bare skin." Partly adding the last to test my theory, that this was turning Richard on. I could tell by the look on it face that it had.

"Bruce was holding you really close, I know he had to be hard from feeling you and kissing you. Could you feel his hardness against you?"

"Yes I could feel his penis, if that is what you mean. Yes he had a hard on, Richard, but Bruce wasn't the first man I've danced with who's gotten hard. Bruce wasn't the only man I danced with last night who had a hard on. I'm sure you've done that with other women at times, haven't you?"

Again not answering me he continued. "When Bruce was feeling your breast did you think about feeling his cock?"

Putting my hand on Richard's penis, not at all shocked when I found him hard, then starting to gentle caress him. I asked, "Do you mean like I'm feeling you now?"

He responded "Yes," in a strained and almost whispered tone.

"What if I told you I did put my hand on his penis, just like I'm doing to you now, would you have liked that I did that?"

"Maybe, I'm not sure." It was easy to tell that was a lie, he was sure.

"Why aren't you sure, would it make you jealous if I touched Bruce there. Maybe we should stop talking about this." I said that as I slipped my hand under Richard's boxers and caressed his bare penis.

Richard then moaned before saying, "No I wouldn't be jealous. I'd just want to know is all."

"Would it turn you on if I did that to Bruce?" Getting no response I said "I guess there's no point in talking about Bruce's penis then, seeing it doesn't make you jealous nor does my touching him turn you on. Lets just go to sleep." I said this while taking my hand out of Richard's pants.

"No don't stop, thinking about you touching him does make me jealous but it turns me on more then it makes me jealous. I can't explain it but I won't be mad if you tell me you touched him." Richard voice had a pleading quality to it.

Putting my hand back into Richard's pants I said, "I did feel Bruce's penis, I unzipped his pants on the way home and caressed him just like I'm doing you." Trying to figure out where do I go from here. Thinking to myself this just is not normal, two married people talking about another man's penis. Richard getting turned on by me telling him I was unfaithful and me getting turned on by telling him, more correctly reliving being unfaithful. Not normal at all.

Before I could continue Richard asked, "Was he big."

I felt like saying, 'was what big', thus making Richard ask, 'Was Bruce's penis big.' What I said was, "I don't know if Bruce was big, I only have you to compare him with, but he was bigger then you are, both longer and thicker. I don't know if he's big compared to other men, maybe your big compared to other men."

The truth was I knew Richard was small, at least from what I'd read and heard. I have to admit I talked about sex to my girl friends more then I should have. I'm sure partly I felt my knowledge in that area was lacking, mostly I liked hearing about their experiences. I knew that somewhere around six inches was what was considered average, and looking at a ruler Richard surely wasn't that big. When I held my fingers apart to show Liz about what Richard's penis size was, she said it was small. And when I made a circle with my thump and index finger, showing Liz how big around he was, she said that was really small. Smaller then anyone she'd been with. Bruce I'd guess at just about average in length, as far as thickness, a salad cucumber comes to mind. That isn't a very good reference is it. Let's just say I thought Bruce had a nice penis, still think he does.

Up until that moment in time I don't think Richard's size mattered to me, even when I was making love to Bruce I wasn't comparing Richard's size to Bruce's. I compared the way I was made love to but not the size of the two men's penises. I think, that was a question better left unasked, but it was asked and it did make me realize that yes Bruce being bigger made a difference. Bruce's penis had felt better inside my vagina then Richard's did. Although I did find Bruce's penis more satisfying then Richard, size had nothing to do with my orgasms, it had everything to do with being given so many orgasms first and nothing to do with size. My feelings are that a man can be big and still an inadequate lover, just like a man could be small and still be the best over all lover you've ever been with. I realize now that Richard asking me that, made me realize three things, one being of course how small he was, even though I'd known that before I never though of him as small, I always would after that night, next he was also an inadequate lover, finally he had a hang up about being small.

"Did he feel better inside of you then I do?" was Richard's next question.

I was shocked by his jump in logic, I hadn't even hinted at intercourse and I wasn't sure that I wanted to ever tell him that it went that far. Knowing that things had gone about as far as I was going to allow them to go I slipped off my pajama bottoms, then pulled down Richard's boxers. Got on top of him and guided his penis into my vagina.

"Richard I didn't tell you we had intercourse, touching a man's penis is a long, long way from fucking him." I don't really know why I used the word fucking him, I'd never used that word before. Maybe I had though that word before but it had never escaped my lips, not before that night.

Laying down close to Richard partly trying to get as much stimulating as I could and partly to look right into his eyes. While starting to move my hips I said, "I'm surprised you didn't want to know if he touched me. He did you know, he touched me in all the right places. I was so turned on by him. I was so wet and so ready. I was ready for him, I even wanted him. Would you have wanted me to have had intercourse with him?"

Richard looked away from me trying to avoid the question. I was having none of it. "We both already know the answer to that don't we, you would have liked it. Maybe you would have even liked watching. If you can't be honest with me then at least be honest with yourself, you want me to have intercourse with Bruce don't you. Just give me a yes or no answer Richard!"

I was shocked by Richard's answer, "Yes I want to watch you being fucked by other men. I'd do just about anything to be able to watch other men satisfy your every need." With that he stiffened and started to ejaculate. I knew when I straddled him that he was already to excited to last very long. I can't say the intercourse was satisfying but the experience somehow satisfied my sexual need.

Richard tried to hold me but I just didn't want to be held, we hadn't made love. Our having intercourse had nothing to do with love it was only about lust. I rolled off Richard saying, "I'm tired I haven't had much sleep since Friday night, I have classes in the morning." When he tried to kiss me goodnight I just rolled away from him, it wasn't a conscious effort, just a reaction to his touch.

Richard tried to question me more about the night before, but I'd told him as much as I was going to about Bruce, at least for the time being. I just remained silence pondering his statement about wanting to watch other men pleasure me. Richard finally rolled over on his side, saying "Goodnight, I love you." I didn't respond not verbally but mentally my response was, 'Do you really love me, how could you love me, am I your wife and lover or am I something else all together.' I was so tired but still unable to find sleep. I laid there thinking about what had just happened and what he'd said about other men. What he'd said about them satisfying my sexual needs, evidently he knew he wasn't doing that. But why was his solution other men and not improving our own love making. I also wondered why I wasn't repulsed by this desire of his, repulsed by the very thought that he'd been turned on by what I told him happened between Bruce and I. Likewise I was also perplexed by my own reaction to what had happened, why had it turned me on so much. I hadn't been that turned on during sex with Richard for a long time.