All Comments on 'Ramblings of a 20 Year Old Virgin'

Wonderful story, we can all identify with this type of insecurity!

hi jen. enjoyed your article. hang in there - i think you will enjoy it with the right guy, husband or not. but choose carefully cos the first time is important. wish i could help but i'm way too old for you and probably on another continent.

if it helps, many men have the same worries too, but if you both concentrate on the other person's pleasure and take your time, relax, have fun, laugh, and most important talk together about what you feel, like (or don't...) it can only be a good experience. take care.

take your time, eventually you will find the person or people with whom you feel comfortable exploring sex. It probably won't happen until you have a job and live on your own. But by all means keep your standards high. If you start low, you generally have a tough time raising standards. You will make someone very happy and you can teach them to be even happier.

hi jen,

it's nice to hear such an opinion stated openly. it was actually really refreshing. i wish you all the best for finding the right guy.

yours.

Michael

ps:where are your other stories.? maybe you could put your alter ego into your favourites? it would be nice to read them. take care

I thought you expressed yourself very well. I think we need more of this sort of story on this site to help balance the impossible fantasy of many of the other stories. There's nothing wrong with fantasy, as long as everyone remembers thats simply all it is. I believe you can look forward to a great sex life (eventually), because you possess the most important ingredients, common sense and the ability to express yourself.

All I can say is thank you for so eloquently phrasing this. Because what you have just written could not have described me any clearer. I am in EXACTLY the same place as you, so thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

A lot of people who come to Lit probably feel as you do, but then read the stories and wonder about themselves. The stories are for the most part fantasies from a world where sex and emotions are not bound, and no consequences exist.

Things will change when you meet the right guy. For the right guy, that first night, whether your wedding night or before, will be wonderful to him, simply because he is with you.

I wish you much happiness.

I'm a guy but when I was 20 I was in your same predicament. At the time, I thought I was probably the only 20 male virgin on my college campus. I was always horny, wanting to have sex, but not ever meeting the right woman. I even wrote a letter to my unknown future wife to reassure myself that it would really happen and to communicate my feelings to her.

Eventually, I did meet a girl that I had a comfort level with. Our first kiss was warm and wonderful. A few weeks later, we had our first, awkward attempt at sex. It was both wonderful and disappointing. Years later when I met the right woman, I realized that when you meet someone and you both totally trust each other that sex becomes as relaxed, fun, exhiliarating, and kinky as I had imagined it to be in my virgin masturbatory fantasies. But it took me (and her) a while to get there.

Be patient and don't get down on yourself. I had a hard time with both of those when I was 20. You're off to a great start, though. You know what makes you feel good and are continuing to explore that. Most important, you are able to communicate your inner feelings. At some point you will meet someone who will want to listen to your inner feelings, and express their's to you. That's what makes a relationship and sex great.

It's very likely that the guy you will marry will at first not know how to communicate as openly as you would like, or not be able to touch you as good as you can touch yourself. But that's part of the wonderful process of marriage. You learn to let yourself be open to what your parter offers and accept him with love. I'm now 55 and I'm still learning.

Enjoy. You're going to love it!

I freaked out. Its my story, only written in another language by someone else. Probably better:)

I don’t want to break into the “Dear Abby” atmosphere or interrupt the empathetic support group which evidently is being formed here as I write my comments. IMO the forum is just as much the reader’s as it is the author’s (the exact ratio IMO is: 50:50). At least for the posters it seems to resonate with real life experiences. For that reason alone you deserve credit. <p>

If I still wish (reluctantly) to look into the ramblings (a good description) themselves; then for once I could not help wondering when (I will adopt the Abby’s style for a now) the ‘20 years old virgin’ pretty much boasted with her skills to successfully deceive the readers. Here, take a look at these two blatant sentences: ”It’s funny, I've written a handful of stories on this site, and it looks like I'm a convincing liar, or so the little red H icons say. I've got some nerve, writing about things that I know nothing about.” This come just few lines before the end of the essay (story?). The positioning is 'clever' that way; I mean no warning to the end. So, we learn that she presumably successfully submitted and enjoyed a warm reception by the readers, as evidenced by the hot “H”. Oh my Oh my! Had we not studied in our younger years “the liar paradox” we would have been in the midst of a serious mental spin right now! Tssst! Not quite your typical virginal behavior, if you ask me! On one hand, there are no other stories under her current name (she has not mentioned another name sha has been using), on the other hand if she has another name why did she create a new one? Maybe too much info which could have contradicted the very premise of the “character” here? As of now, we are walking a thin and blurry line between fiction and non fiction; a story and biographical reporting. Usually this blurring, if left unexplained is NOT considered a good form! It’s like I am buying a paper or reading an essay because I want to directly learn something about reality. I want to know that the weather person REALLY means it when he/she says it will rain and not tell me when I am all wet (but have not been warned) that he/she is such a great liar: "He He HE". It’s not like I have so many tools to check on the weather person (or the essayist) in advance - DUH!! <P>

So for me, People or texts, which tell me, or simply demonstrate in the text that they have problem with credibility, and there is no other aesthetic reason for those problems (like a plot which deals with the nature of truth or a story whis focus on a clash between ethical and non ethical characters) - I take it on their word - EVEN IF THEY LIE AND THEY ARE ACTUALLY TRUTH TELLERS. WHY? Because at least on the level of effective communication it represents a dysfunctional or an aesthetic minus; a failure. With no additional reason –we should always adopt the simplest assumptions regarding a text. Being lured to violate this principle with no aesthetic gain is a wasted posturing. In essence an aesthetic lie. So, dear ‘virgin’ you either lied or you made an aesthetic wasteful posturing; I don’t know which one is worse. <P>

I want to say after Tom Cruise in “Jerry Maguire”: “SHOW ME THE STORIES!!!” SHOW ME THE STORIES!!!” Only then we MIGHT be able to establish what trust can we have with who you say you or the character you tried to build (?) really are…

Actually Kolkore, almost all stories on this site lie. Every girl is bisexual and every cock is 14 inches, and you had to berate the one story that is unflatteringly honest, for being untrue? Good work.

<p>I created a different account because I wanted to tell the complete truth without anybody being able to figure out who I am, by linking me to my other stories. I do not wish to share them in case anybody I know is reading.

<p>I've read enough stories on this site to be able to crank out some of my own. As they're just recycled key words and not from experience, they're not startlingly original, but people seem to like them. I am not a participant in any of my stories, so I have no need to lie on either account.

<p>Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to psychoanalyze a total stranger, though.

Since I was kind of in the same boat. Twenty, virgin, no boyfriend... because despite a high sex drive, I'd never met anyone I actually wanted. Kind of nice to know I wasn't the only one.

(I say "wasn't" 'cause I started dating a good friend recently... and it's been getting interesting.)

Anyway. My random thoughts. Wish you luck in everything. :)

-Ide

impressive good reading well laid

...seriously, getting a glimpse of somebody's inner world is a rare treat. Since you are on Lit you are probably well aware, or will be shortly that your worries are unfounded.

Enjoy life and find that lucky lucky lucky guy.

I am 24 year old guy and a virgin.Never had a girlfriend. Don't get me wrong I am not gay. I like girls, but don't have the nerve to talk to them into a relationship. I don't like taking advantage or make promises which I am not interested to fulfil. Its kinda weird though that I like reading personal stories of people in literotica rather than the sex stories which I am suppose to. Can't help what I like. There are thousands of people with even weirder hobbies and passion. Sex is just a grain in the sand. Neverthless just like you, I too do hope I could really feel special for someone and get easy about being with a girl. So all is can say is "All the best to both of us"

A lot of people are confused where the hymen actually is. I also had the wrong idea until I saw photos on the web. It's at the opening. A finger or tampon will fit & not rip it. It does takes more girth. Your partner can even use his hands to stretch it a little before entering. Don't worry about making noise. Think of the moaning as a way of letting your partner know what is working. If he hits the right spot, moan a little (or a lot). Intercourse alone may not give you an orgasm but who's to say you can't rub yourself a little bit while he's doing his thing.

Stressing over the unknown is natural, but so is sex. Letting things happen & relaxing are the best ways to please each other & you only get more comfortable & better at it over time.

Since you are curious about being nude with your future husband I would sugest that you go to a clothing optional beach with some of your girl friends to see men so you know what to expect the first time you and your future husband are together as your desire is to have your first sexual experence. Since you have been masturbating I assume you have been able to climax. Good for you! I'm sure you will find a good lover in the future but don't be disapointed if you don't climax the on your first sexual experence. You may have to show your lover how to bring you to climax. I wish you luck and a happy love life.

Thank you for sharing this intimate insight into you. You are clearly a beautiful person with normal anxieties and the courage to write about them. Thank you for having the courage to be vulnerable in this way. I hope and trust that things have worked out well for you in the years since you wrote this essay. All the best.

Tim

The world needs more girls like you! Your honest, smart, and i guarantee your gonna make some one real happy, Shit i would be all over you if i was 20 years younger! My suggestion is go to school , find something you love to do and be the best at it. Everything else will fall into place. Good luck with your life, i hope it turns out better than you could possibly imagine!

On your life, would be awesome. You sound very much like a friend of my daughter n law. She is a gorgeous 22 year old virgin. Unlike you though she dates a lot. More young women should realize they can meet and socialize with men, without giving up the kitty. She does tend to go on more event type dates like cycling, ball games, horse races. She says you can learn a lot about someone at the races.

Very good! I liked all of the honest appraisals and the expressions of doubt. Some things can only be learned by experiencing them with all of the miscues that happen (and they definitely do!) I can only wish you success in your efforts and remind you that men can be nervous too.