All Comments on 'Redlight: Pandora Pt. 01'

Well written. The story seems to be taking a blade runner field to it. A little more character development is needed on police officer, the killer, and victim. Otherwise I can't wait till next chapter. Your a great writer.

Please, keep this story going, I'm looking forward to seeing where you go. Your world building skills are excellent and learning more about the characters should be entertaining. You're doing great, thanks for submitting this!

As others have said, great world building, you seem to be going for a cross between Blade Runner (which I'm going to guess is where you got the name Harrison from) and the Metro Zone books.

The main character is an unlikeable asshole, I'm guessing that's what you were aiming for though and it fits with the nihilistic feel of the world.

One thing though, the switch from past to present tense for the sex, I can see what you're trying to do, but it is quite jarring for the reader.

Thanks for the constructive feedback. I am very glad that you like my stuff. I hope that you will take the time to look at anything else I put up on here in the future. To anyone else reading this, please leave a comment or a vote, it would be very much appreciated. Many thanks.