by Jonathanx
Man, you have got to give us more stories. This was so fine--I mean it had style, as well as being very, very erotic. Such a rare thing.
Poorly written. I have no issue with the topic here, but the story itself lacks timeline, flow and a general understanding of continuity. I advice you to read up on better writters before trying to make another attempt.
You obviously have never been exposed to REAL writing, only the crude dick-jerking type. This has real style. I'll look for more from this writer.