All Comments on 'Renee and Her Brother'

I feel happy for them, but it is lacking any difficulty to overcome or a reason for interest from the reader. Good English is commendable but flat. Perhaps some other family members to make for a little difficulty for the principals. You write well but there needs some obstacle to overcome, either an external one or an internal one. Don't be discouraged by my comments, but tension is very important in order to involve the reader.

oversized dickey--Grow up please

First, everyone needs an editor. I founds these typos/grammatical mistakes in your story: (1) "whom I haven’t see for" - seen; (2) "can not" – cannot; and (3) "we have make a lot of friends" – have made a lot of friends."

Second, there is not much character development. Why hadn't your brother and sister seen each other for six years? That's a very long time!

Next, you say that there were other siblings, but you say nothing about how they reacted to this relationship.

Lastly, the dialogue was too stilted to be believable. I hope you will submit other work, though, as I like the genre.

I like sibling incest tales and, while I thought your tale could have been a little more interesting, I think you will improve with experience. An editor can only help, but don't get discouraged. Thanks for making the effort. It took courage.

To the comment on the oversize dickey - I dont know where you are from - but here in Australia - the average size is 7 to 7 1/2inches - so I am not trying to make a king size hero in the story - Jena121

I liked your story, but it was too quick and easy for the brother and sister to slip into an incestuous relationship. Everything was too easy in fact, such as the sister having been left financially well off after her divorce, she can move anywhere. In real life, what about the kids? How can she up and move her children away from their friends, or away from the ex who would normally have visitation rights at least? <br><br>

If you continue writing, you might consider expanding the description of their sex scene. Slow it down, give more details, and that will help put the reader more "into the moment." <br><br>

But as a sweet fantasy story, I thought you did fine.

Dialogue was very stilted- very unnatural sounding. Next time, try reading it aloud

Oediplex rates this story 5 cums!! 8==3~ 8==3~ 8==3~ 8==3~ 8==3~ More please!!

And she never said nothing about what happened with her 3 children’s.

If the reader had read the story through properly - they would note that the '3 children' were grown up and settled in their own lives - please read the stories thoroughly next time - Jena121

it's sexy to use more vowels to indicate pleasure. Why not use your imagination instead. It's a much more sensual and erotic way than ooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. That's childish.

I think I only used the extended words 4 times in the story and as far as I am concerned that was in the appropriate places - thank you for your comment - but let me see you write a better tale

Why all the silly complaints? Why can't you simply enjoy this story for what it is-a nicely written account of a nice encounter between willing parties. I loved it and compliment the writer.

Dear Jena,

I'm a romantic man and loved your story.

I close my eyes and imagine myself in the same situation.

You are a romantic lady too and you know how to transmit your feelings.

I would love to have a sister like you and live a similar romance with her, because you are so sensitive, so romantic, so erotic... definitely you are my style!

Best regards

Pedro

Terrific tale!

Dee has the writing ability so few erotica story writer possess. She is a mix of many fine qualities and always a classy woman. She brings fantasy to life using words as emotions. Keep up the great work, looking forward to many years of enjoying your stories.

This story had me really going. Jena - you are the tops!

. It will appeal to those that lust for their siblings.

Lovely story -especially for an early effort.

Ignore the critics - anyone can criticize, but not everyone can write. If they did attempt to write, they would find it much more difficult that editing, proofing or criticizing.

As another writer, who has been criticized roundly, I must say that I like your stories. And I plan to read all of them.

Cheers.

This is basically a good story that loses something in the communication. The communication between the characters is stilted - ,meaning no body talks that way. For me - and take that as I intend it, for me stories with more natural conversations have much more impact. If you intent, however, is to be a romance writer, then maybe you are on the right track to appeal to those who have little naughty experience in sexuality. Keep in mind that all this is subjective, including my criticism. You have a great premise that for my taste would be more appealing if told differently, but I am more into erotic fiction (or nonfiction) than I am into romance scenarios that never exist in reality.

I always questioned my feelings for my brother not as siblings. More as BF and GF or even lovers. we boyh realized our feelings in highschool. My attriction for my brother became very physical. then we both realised how we felt about one another. Having sex was so easy, it just happened. Every time our parents went out we would make love . This continued long after high school untill I was 20 years old and I married at that age. That didnt change anything between my brother and I. I'm 26 now and we still find opertunitys to have sex. If you read these storys youcan imagine how intensa our meatings are........Renee1413

It started out really good. Then the seduction scene started and the dialog became cheesy and sophomoric. It was almost like it was written by two different people. There's a second installment available and I hesitate to bother reading more. But I'll give it one more chance. I hope that the next installment is better quality than this one was.

Excellent 5/5