by Vincent E
Never start a story with weather: Nobody cares about the weather, the time of day, the way it smelled, etc.—unless that stuff directly influences what actually happens in the story.
Also, work on your punctuation: "She's my girl Vincent." has a whole different meaning than "She's my girl, Vincent."
One of the most erotic stories I've read--you could feel his cock slipping in for his rental fuck.
For me this was not at all arousing, as intended, I believe. It's more about the exploitative relationship of one person by another. The exploitation of the weak by the stronger presented in a story with characters that have more depth and feelings than most of the stories on Literotica. The author paints a picture of a man who is not without a conscience, like most real people he is not totally bad, a small amount of guilt appears to force him to make some amends for the exploitation of the young woman. The young woman also feels a bit confusion because the father of her child treated her worse than this landlord, she tries to feel nothing with him but sometimes there is a stirring of her sexuality along with the denial of her dignity.
And one must ask where would she be with a landlord who was not willing to trade something that she had for the rent. Where would she and her baby go? What if he showed some genuine affection and some respect for her even if he was exploiting her sexually? Would that be better for her? Would that be more acceptable to her? Is there some way he could help her without exploiting her? What about his infidelity to his marriage? This story is not the usual fantasy but something that not only could happen but probably does happen.
It's an excellent story because there are no easy answers here but lot's to think about.
Thank you!
The story is as hot as the weather in the storyline. I just wish Vincent and Lynette had another detailed session. I would love if additional chapters are added. Hmmmph, kinda want the pervert Vincent to come collect my rent!
I thought you did a great job of capturing the need and remorse in both of them. Adding the baby and the grandmother kept her from looking like just someone trying to get out of the rent and really drew out how hurtful the arrangement must be to her. The sad thing is that I am sure it happens on rent day across America and in every race.
Keep it up!
I understand period pieces but I still can not diguest racial slurs and sterotypes. Harsh.
I hope you develop this story into a full length novel. I never expected to see good talent here, but I was wrong. Please keep writing, you have a bright future ahead.
great character development, good story you could get a since of how the characters felt the person that wrote this story really gave you a real since of how the characters would most likely fill i really enjoyed the story would like to see some more about this one maybe she starts to like it who knows but all and all great story alot can be done with this i open he writes some mroe about it another chapter maybe. :)
I thought it went a little long, not bad though I thought it would have been better if she had enjoyed it more or he had forced her more something to spice it up it seemed like she was just laying their while he fucked her.
I loved the story from beginning to end, eventhough I thought it went a little too long. I would love to see more chapters to the story, does the landlord Vincent feel any more remorse and stop "rent"? Does the two eventually hook up? I thought it was great, keep it up. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.
This work truly amazed me; material like this justifies the existence and social worth of erotic literature. Deep characters (insofar as possible in two pages), a wonderful blend of coercion and co-operation, and savory exposition combine into one of the best reads that I've had in a few minutes. Thank you for this exemplary contribution -- if I wrote something for this site, I'd use this work as a model.