All Comments on 'Revelations Ch. 03'

if your story will end with the wife being drugged, then you have not read the original story, even when she was not with her lover, she still profess her affection to him and sent videos of herself to him. I think this will be difficult to explain.

Drugs , no way, many years and no mention of blackmail. Drugs wear off and the mind will know what happened . There is no way you could make that work.this is going in the wrong direction. Planning to have his kids . Beyond the pale and she loved him . Some kind of sick fantasy.

Am looking for the next installment.

Carvohi-I think your continuation jumped the shark in this chapter. A year-long ruffie binge? Is that where you're honestly going with this? The wife was turned almost comically stupid and naive in this chapter. Some parts of this were effective: especially the hubby's ruminations at the beginning-it was effective imagery. His continued conflict wth his decision rings true: most would not be able to walk away after 30 years without regret and second thoughts.

However, the constantly changing POV's and the changing from past to present tense and back again, over and over, was confusing and detracted from the story. Also the mention of the mother's face covered in shit was just too much. Making the other man a complete monster fundamentally changes the story, rendering it less dramatic and more of a cartoon.

This story needed more time and thought and editing.

...doesn't work. You've spun an interesting yarn, but it feels like you wanted reconciliation as the ending and in order to get there from the setup of the original story requires far too much reimagining of the characters involved. Victor hasn't changed much, still a wimpering fool, but the wife and dead lover have changed dramatically.

Part of the impact of the original story was how unapologetic the wife was for what she'd done; Her complete inability to see the pain she caused Victor by her actions.

The first chapter of your continuation certain sets up a fantastic way of getting her to face reality and the ending was quite good. Frankly, I think the story should have ended there.

As I said before, this chapter has changed the story into feeling like a forced reconciliation story.

Date rape drugs don't work that way. You can't keep someone drugged 24/7. Did she go to work on date rape drugs everyday? NO! If you are going with the she has been drugged route you need to stop right now. It would probably work for one night but that is the extent of it. No multiple meeting affair can be blamed on date rape drugs. It just does not work that way!

Did you take a leap into the past and he hasn't met the 56 year old lady that he has an open relationship and that he is happy somewhat? Need to do an outline if you haven't already of the whole story so you can keep track of these things.

And I agree with a previous commenter about force reconciliations in stories like this. You are contradicting the driven, strong, organized man that you presented us all with in part two.

This whole 'she was drugged' idea doesn't follow the original story at all. Additionally, the 'she was drugged' storyline fails to address her emails and her voluntary visits after she had moved.

I can't believe the original author approved of this. Maybe he was drugged!

If she was drugged the first time okay, but that can't explain the continued connection. What about the continued email once she moved to Houston? Can't accept the drugged angle.

You butchered this to hell. Like the other guy said, drugs didn't make her continue contact after they moved. And then you make Victor such a whining sap, for bitch's sake just make him kill himself already. You've made him so pathetic that I no longer am able to care that he was betrayed so badly. Just stop.

One possible approach instead of the drug usage may be hypnosis or some form of erotic mind control. Don't know if it could work but it is a possibility. Guess Carvohi has already chosen his path to end the story and it will be interesting as to how he progresses.

The single reason i won't bother reading this story forward... You gave her an out. You completely ruined the integrity of the original author.

I see that you are headed towards hipnosis enhanced initially with date rape drugs, am I the only reader who sees this particular plot twist?

I believe that your story will go something like this, booze and drugs, then while stoned some conditioning until she responds to commands while sober that is when the old bastard really started to work her over. There will also be other women coming forward after he exposed them to there own husbands.

The final story will end when the ruthless old bastard is found alive and well living in the caymen islands. He will be found after Vanessa commits suicide and Victor will be convicted of his murder.

You are a good writer and are entitled to tell your story as you chose. But this is not your story it is a continuation of someone else's story. You have to develop your addition to the facts and charaterizations of the original. She was not drugged. He may have taken drugs to perform but that is irrelevant. She thought she was helping him and the company and then it changed into a long term affair that continued even after she moved away via e-mail. You have an out here, James only suspects her being drugged. You could prove she wasnt and let the chips fall where they may. Please dont ruin this by going RAAC.

Good installment... Revenge is bittersweet and the old rich dead guy was apparently mire evil than we knew.

No date rape drug excuse. That doesn't cut it. There can be no reconciliation. I'm pulling for you to make this right. I'll be reading...

Victor's son has his head completely up his ass. Was his mother drugged contantly for years? Was she drugged when she told her husband that she was doing her duty when she fucked her perverted boss for years? Was she drugged when she contantly sent him lewd pictures and emails? Please don't tell me she was hynotized, that won't wash in anybodies mind. I hope you're not going to allow victor to even consider reconciling with his slut wife. I suspect the scores for this part will be low in expectation that the author is setting Victor up.

You said this tale is far from over so i shall wait for the next part. Hopefully it wont have an ohio or a Matt Moreau ending but a BTB one.

James is going to extreme lengths to take the responsibility for his mother's actions away while she was having her very long affair. It is also very difficult to believe that a wife and mother could be so easily and completely manipulated by hew own boss for such a very long time. Of course when she is caught she is evasive and in denial that her long term actions caused any harm to her marriage or family, In this chapter Karen's attitude toward he mother would probably represent the vast majority of children when faced with a long term adulterous, slut mother.

Well this is going to be one of those stories I am going to hate to read. Yea its a train wreak as it goes on. No matter what in the end the Vanessa boss is the one who got away with it, he never paid for any of his wrong doings. No matter how you end the story , the husband suffered , he was innocent. The wife played and got caught , did she really suffer? Even if drugs were involved how do you explain the emails ? Hate to see another story of evil people winning while good people suffer and lose faith. Yea I am going to read the rest, its just a story but its really messed up when the writer let's evil win.

@ bidingtime I am writting a story with other names, places, plot from the idea of the Revelation. I hope it will be on SOL next months. The title is "Skeleton from the Cupboard, Sarah and Frank" Sarah is not the first wife.............

I am amazed how far you have gone away from the original story. It just does not make sense any more. I agree with previous comments, that the drug angle just does not fly!!

Either get back on track or give up.

MR Carvohi, I kinda know the direction your story is heading to. Drugged? Come on! You cant justify her action based on drug induced haze. I'm a pharmaceutical scientist for gods sake and a good one at that...i have done studies on similar drugs, Ketamine, especially.And I have seen n studied effect of date orape kinda drugs...they have certain duration, certain half life but They cant make one behave continou....butsly like what she did...the emails..the justifications.Plz mister, u may be able to justify one or two incidences but dont rationalize all the 10 years by that...people do crazy things under drugs...but they snap out of them n most remember what they did though not distinctly.... n after continous administration, people can remember most things....they develop reUsistance...plz dont continue the story towards it..its really infuriating...plz dont.I implore. English is not my first language so i really hope u got my gist.

Will reconcilation be? If it will not be, he will married again? Does the bigamia punish in Cayman Islands? If it does what the prisons of the Cayman Islands like? Is this running good revenge?

Why did not he divorce her simple?

A.A.Nemo's three running husband stories are one miles long better.......on SOL (storiesonline.net):

1. "Concordia"

2. "Heart Condition"

3. "That Look of Love"

Drugged? Really? Well, OK! I am eager to see what direction you take this in.

You and this story suck. I wish hacks like you would leave good stories alone.

it was ok, you do write well but i still prefer my "Victor's Victory." i do like the inserting of the "gang bang" as a new fact, which might get you into her being drugged, but frankly the attempts to rehabilitate her are lacking.

maybe they should have gotten the DNA done at the hospital which would have put her betrayal beyond the ten years and make them Harry's fucken kids and that blows the shit out of the "she was drugged" for 20 years theory.

unfortunately what you are using for "facts" don't just add to the original story, they conflict with it.

like the husbands torment, that is realistic. he needs some new pussy and some one who really loves him to put the cunt out of his memory and life.

i am still interrested in seeing where this is going.

Finish it so you can start your own story.

I don't know why you bothered to write a sequel. The original story wasn't good enough to continue. I've noticed that when a story is not what the reader wants or expects. It bothers them so badly they feel compelled to BTB, as in your first chapter. <P>

I applaud you for listening to some of your critics and the improvement in this chapter. Still far fetched but the original story left you no wiggle room. I still have to wonder why though.

I didn't feel as if the original story left anything lacking. I was willing to read this attempt to change the ending but it is becoming a very poor attempt to change the original stories ending. His disappearing and the additional description of his pain are believable. The new theory of a 20 year drugging are just too far fetched for belief. I can even see the old bastard making sure the husband knew about him nailing the wife over and over but now to go off on a tangent and try to inject drugging into the mix. Hell no. I agree with other postings. What the husband needs is new pussy and a new life. Hell, he managed to get a lot of the money. BTB and be happy. Get over the pain and try to live out the rest of his life well.

Gary does not sound like Victor at all, not even the Victor of your first sequel and the Vanessa of the original would never have suffered the breakdown. All wishful thinking! The drugs would not produce her behaviour. The original author destroyed that with the e-mails she sent that showed she was into it.

Basically I agree that most sequels are the worst work of their authors since you need embrace someone else's mind set or the facts will trip you up.

This turning into a recipe for doom. I'll wait to see where the author is heading.

I have to agree with everyone else who is saying that your story isn't staying close to the original. Also, you mention that maybe "mom" was given "Ecstasy, roofies, GHB, Ketamine, or Sedure" to make her act the way she was. Ignoring the fact that she has a long history with her boss, and claims to love him, as well as her husband, and has stayed in contact with him through emails, and still sends him pictures and meets up with him when she can...well...actually you can't ignore those facts.

Anyway, if all of this started well over 20 years ago, did they have the drugs that you are trying to say she may have been given to act the way she did? You say "dad" grew up at a different time, but didn't this story begin - during that same different time? The writing is good, and you're doing a good job of capturing the heartbreak that someone would really feel if they had been betrayed by the one they love, and then had that love not feel any remorse for their actions. However, the continued story doesn't fit...really in any way, with the original story.

A slight diversion from the reunion alluded to in your first chapter.

This is a whole different story, didn't like your first one much, this one not at all, couldn't finish it. You are not a good enough writer to add anything intelligent to the original story.

The drug angle is a stupid. If you're going to finish this don't dishonor the original story with bullshit like she was on drugs the whole time. She may have been high on being a slut and cockolding her husband but that's it.

start reading the original story. you can invent whatever you want.

she stated a) she had to save asshole b) she still believed in the original story till the end she did NOT make something wrong.

you can try and write whatever you want. you're a) wrong and b) why in hell do you want to kill a have way good story with science fiction ?

even if there would be a mind altering drug that is working over a long period of time, there is nothing to say anymore when she answered a decade later she had to do it and nothing was bad what I did.

you can stop writing as I stop reading your bullshit. create your own story.

The plot is getting messy. I get the "suicide" angle if it is a way to make off with money and get away from a bitch. Why would she have a breakdown? She didn't really care that much about him. Why is he so upset now he has gotten away from her? She wasn't that great to start with and now he knows about her cheating she is lower than snail shit. He doesn't seem to be missing his kids? Why? They didn't do anything that bad. This doesn't make sense. In fact not much is making sense. I do not understand why this type of story always seems to feature a cuckolded husband who is financially successful and emotionally infantile? After 30 years you are not "in love", hopefully you love your spouse but if she does not love you as proven by her cheating ways, then it is easy to simply say "ya got me!" and call it a day. There are plenty of other warm bodies to share your bed on a cold night, move on.

You're so emphatuated with Vanessa that you are going two take at least three chapters to invent crap in order to exhonorate her previous indescretions. I have to agree with anonymous, nothing you can do that will explain all the emails and relationship beyond he sex. Complete waste of your time and energy.

The drug angle makes zero sense as it changes a key factor of the original tale.

Even the shitty ending of the original was preferable to this.

Many of the comments on this round center on the possible abuse of drugs that lead to V's nymphomania. The son is exploring reasons why his mother behaved the way she did. He is being analytical. Like his father (there was a reference about this). The story is not over. No one knows where it will lead yet and there is no reason to think the son will find the evidence that supports narcotics.

Your ending sucks a bucket full of three day old piss. Drugs, bullshit, the son James is a cuck. The wife is a fucking whore who KNEW what she was doing.

She cheated far too long and too enthusiastically. 'Love conquers all' is a wonderful notion but HIS love won't be sufficient, it would take THEIR love. Unfortunately, she chose to give her love to another. The fundamental problem with many reconciliation stories is that the cheating spouse is so evil in the cheating phase that they can't be believably redeemed in the reconciliation phase. Even if she does manage to redeem herself, why would Victor want to go back to someone who could do that to him in the first place? I like your writing but I think Alex dug Vanessa too deep a hole to pull her out of. Thanks for sharing, I look forward to the next installment.

The date rape drug angle is AWFUL. It is truly an pathetic insipid plot development that ..if you re ad the ORIGINAL cannot POSSIBLY be true.'

'

go back and read the ORIGINAL... the date rape drug thing cannot be true in any way shape or form

I doubt if anyone who has already commented will refer to this, but I think the reference to Ecstasy was a part of some dialogue between the siblings, and represented more of a supposition than a concrete reference. There has been no substantiated reference to any particular drug as being responsible for anything though. I have a drug in mind. There have been suggestions the affair between Vanessa and Wolman went back further than it actually did in the original story by alex_love. I have a pretty clear idea about where I want this to go. I suggest those of you who want me to go back and read the original should do the same. I'll write something when I load on the next chapter that might be helpful. I do however, appreciate all comments. carvohi

i also want to voice out what the majority are saying,,, dont give the wife such an easy way out! its not just another torch the bitch comment its just common sense after reading the story. trying to use the drug addiction as a tool for reconciliation is ridiculous because of the simple fact that if she was an addict she wouldnt of had approved the move to Houston, and after the move where in the story did it mention she had some kind of relapse or during the first weeks some kind of emotional breakdown that addicts suffer. just like in real life, actions and inactions have consequences and all one can do is just man up to them no matter the results and learn not to make them again.

Adios!

You are obviously heading in the direction of a reconnection between the "parents". Putting off the DNA test is an obvious error or perhaps Victor's "daughter" should get the test done without telling her brother. Please do not make all the women (or at least Karen) in the story weak, give them (or her) some positive sides. Vanessa now appears to be heading in the way of a victim which is contrary to the facts in the original story. She (Vanessa) has a long term relationship that was wrong in every way possible, however, Victor's actions are not without fault either-even in the most BTB story.

Carvohi you are a joy to read but please do not lose the hard emotions of each of the players here. You can spin and weave well either way if the DNA is a match to Victor or not. Not sure how, unless you create a too tragic Vanessa or abused one, to over come the original story and your earlier portions of the story of Vanessa's love life with Harry.

Best of luck with the story, I will look forward to the next installment.

Amateurishly written in the present tense. I could not read it through, just gave up midway through the first page. Sorry.

Can't figure why "Gary" won't move on. He should get counseling. What's done is done. Time to build a new life. But how is he living with his 56 year old lover (prior chapter) if he drinks all day and has nightmares all night? Seems a contradiction to me.

Story switched from third person to first in at least one section. This episode seemed short because nothing really happened. We only know the children (per lover's letter, they are implicitly not his biologic children) have received and reacted to his letters and the DVD, and wife Vanessa had a meltdown.

Finally, I agree with others that the "she was drugged" ploy fails the smell test. She kept going back for more -- a drugged person doesn't do that. Was she drugged when she wrote her loving emails? Was she drugged when she secretly traveled to meet her lover? I think the story has too many plot holes at this stage. Two stars; author, please get some editing or reviewing help.

Lets not go down the road of Gary /Victor taking the whoring slut back. Maybe she got a drug from the bastard to ease the pain of a big cock , but sure as shit she let it go on and on and on. actually it would be better if gat AIDS and died a miserable death

the author took a story that had an ending that they didn't like and is attempting to twist the ending to meet their expectations and in the process shot themselves in the foot and trashed another writers work. Carvohi you may proceed without Me I am Done with this garbage.

They better not get back together. She's a fucking whore and should never have put herself in the position to fuck someone other than her husband. I hope to god that Victor grows some balls and gets a new lady in his life. Fuck his ex. Get over it and move on.

need to keep going

I have to agree with other comments regarding the drug situation. She may well have been drug. It may have been so she could accommodate the extra large cock ( by the way what surgically enhanced procedures would produce such a large cock ) but she she meet up with him by travelling, and e mail sex.

she is guilty as charged.

Great 2nd chapter, but Fuck you on this bullshit 3rd chapter. You are reverting back to being a piece of shit. She is a cheating heartless whore CUNT! You can't change that now and even call yourself a man. Don't go there. Be true to the 2nd chapter in the next.

i think he was pretty well gobsmacked with the reply to this chapter and he is busy in re-write. he did not appreciate my "Victor's Victory" which was my version of an ending to alex lovers revelations but was man enough to stand up and say it. so i am going to give him the benefit of the doubt and see if he can work his way out of this.

when's the next chapter coming out?

ever change the individual. TK U MLJ LV NV

If you respond to your wife's infidelity by trying to cut the KIDS out of your life, you're not going to end up looking like the good guy...to them or anyone.

And ignore the btb crew. Their volumous whine is merely a combination of impotent anger and child-like fit throwing.

I don't buy it. The adultery went on for decades. Unless you come up with something really unique it won't be convincing. Waiting for chp3.

Victor is behaving like a spoiled child. With any luck a shark will eat him and then we won't have to listen to his sniveling. She wouldn't want to take back the louse at this point anyway. And NOBODY believed he had the balls to kill himself. If he didn't have the heart to stay and fix his life, why would we assume he had the courage to end his pathetic existence?

That was a given -

We were never given evidence to suggest the B&D or the gang bangs as I recall so the kids should not have gotten it either - small issue when you see where James is headed but still a major variance with the original.

We are being set up for her not being in control - a truism but not because of drugs (no earlier evidence so while possible it seems a stretch) BUT from her own hubris and failure to understand herself or her actions - she was selfish and foolish - she acted stupidly.

Well again let's see where we go - as a story it is a good one if an imperfect continuation - but then i ain't perfeK neither heh

it was going good in the previous chapter, then you screw it up with the gangbang and date rape drugs, couldn't you just leave it alone that she fell in love with the guy, and victor moved on, maybe even contact Paula........

Meth is such a bad drug.

Turned out to not be worth the reading.

It's almost as if this chapter was written by a different person.

Even IF she was drugged, now, when she is straight, she claims she did nothing wrong, that she was healing a poor broken man.

First, you are adding things into "evidence" that weren't in the initial story, primarily the gang bang. And while there was ample kinky sex described, the rim job just doesn't fit.

And as I said in my earlier comment, date rape doesn't explain her initial "curative" blow jobs, or her attempts to defend her actions.

Sorry pathetic piece of cow manure.

You're appraisal is pretty accurate, and that's why I didn't go any further. Try one of my other, later, stories...please. I'd hate to think you, or anyone stopped reading me because of this story.

Harry your comments are accurate, and Can't Buy I know I've thanked you somewhere for your bailing me out on this one. Your Victor's Victory got me off the hook here.

How can he be both happy with his new girlfriend and drink himself to oblivion at home alone?

A date rape drug does not explain the many emails exchanged over the years with additional pictures and their continued expressions of endearment. All while many miles apart and under no influence of drugs.

And you are changing the foundation upon which the story was based by adding scenes to the DVD that were not there before this chapter.

This "conclusion" is not bringing any closure to the work that started all this. Instead it is just adding more coal to the fires.

WHAT A WHORE SHE ADMITTED SHE HAD AFFAIR IN THIS CHAPTER. MAYBE SHE CAN

BURN IN HELL.

RON

men play golf. TK U MLJ LV NV

Usual carvohi justify a slut tale and make a wimp out of a husband. Not much of a man are you carvohi.

I know a couple of my comments here are repeats, but here goes!

“Now they'll see, they'll know”

She should be proud! After all, what she did was an act of mercy, right? She did nothing wrong.

I’m sorry, I’m NOT buying the “she was drugged” story. MAYBE she was, but she admitted to inviting Harry into her room and seducing him, and now, years later and presumably off the drugs, she was still insisting she did nothing wrong until Victor’s vengeance got through to her.

And what’s with Harry being “hung like a horse”? Earlier it was described as just maybe being a LITTLE thicker than Victor’s

Frankly, I’m surprised he’s so miserable – true, he had a wretched thing happen to him, but he got a good measure of revenge, and now has the chance to live some sort of a “good life”.

“I'm sorry. I was wrong, I was stupid. You've got to forgive me.”

MAYBE if she said that when he first confronted her SOMETHING about their relationship could have been saved, even if it was no better than an amicable divorce, at least there would still be SOME sort of a relationship.

“I never dreamed I'd be caught. I never imagined you'd find out. I had no idea how hard it could be for you, for me.”

Not to repeat myself, but if what she is doing is so good and noble, why would she even THINK about getting “caught” or him finding out? And she had “no idea how hard it could be for {him}?” Just think how hard it would be for YOU if you found out HE had a lover, and you’ll have a pretty good idea!

You’re changing a lot of the facts from earlier parts here. Nowhere was there any HINT of drugs, she knew EXACTLY what she was doing and believed it was the right thing to do. And Harry’s cock? It was described as being a LITTLE thicker than Victor’s, but otherwise not noticeably bigger. And there was never any mention of gang bangs.

Actually, I believe there WAS one reference to her giving Harry a rim job, though shit stains on her face weren't mentioned!

An interesting twist.

He watched that dvd many times, there was never a mention of any of this. And she invited him up for a nightcap, not the other way around. I guess this is just a different story. I can't wait till she tells the kids that she thought he would never find out. And what about all those emails over the years as well as them getting together at other times. I really expected better from this writer, but, it looks like he is forcing a RAAC here.

is it to elide over the gist of the text, TK U MLJ LV NV

I give up waiting for this to be finished.

Too far off the original story and doesn't line up with why the stupid bitch kept her affair going via internet until her boss died.

The drug angle doesn't even make sense given the first three chapters.

She was drugged hundreds of miles away, years later, making masturbation videos for her lover with vegetables? Even worse than the original. Just preposterous.

Glad that you took on the task of finishing this story; I had hope that someone would volunteer. However, In volume 1, Victor was graphic in his summary description of Vanessa's and Harry's sexploits, no mention of shit eating or gang bangs, which clearly would have made the top of his list. Maybe this is carried to far. Still, an interesting treatment.

Even after the first time, she should have come clean to her husband...she sucked and fucked her basturd boss in his office, at his house and went on trips with him. All the while lying to her husband. After 10 years, she kept lying...

What a crap!!

I probably have some repeats here!

“I never dreamed I'd be caught. I never imagined you'd find out. I had no idea how hard it could be for you, for me.” – So what if she WASN’T caught or found out? Would that make it right? She had no idea how hard it would be? How hard would it have been if things were reversed?

“worst of all he saw the gang bangs” – “Gang bangs?” Now that’s new!

I’m not liking the drug excuse. She voluntarily put herself in that situation, she herself never claimed to have not known what she was doing.

“Man it was huge” – Um, in the original story it was at most a little thicker, this is changing basic facts of the story.

As an Anon said, she wasn’t drugged when she Emailed compromising pictures and videos, not to mention the hints of meetings.

To finish a thought I mentioned last year, if she had admitted that she was wrong when first confronted, instead of trying to excuse/defend her actions, things might ha ended differently.

Was this story ever finished by anyone?

It's been said before, but even IF she was drugged during her debauchery, that doesn't explain her earlier "flirting" and willing "sexual healing!" It also doesn't explain her attempts to justify it and continuing emails and videos!

Oh God Dammit not this fucking trope again. She was drugged, it's not her fault bullshit. My respect for this story is falling due to the cop out.

Someone is at last showing a little sanity. Victor's revenge is as stupid as it is obscene. He didn't just dig two graves, he dug a couple of extra ones for his children, but at least James is refusing to lie down and allow his dick-head father to shovel the dirt over his head. Write on.

LA

. . . he described how the wife loved it. Date-rape bullshit cop-out indeed! And the husband's personality has also completely changed from the first three chapters!

One star and I won't be reading your next two chapters.

Oh, and shouldn't these be chapters 4 ,5,and 6?

So her lover must have date raped her for the whole period they were seeing each other ? Otherwise , WHY did she keep having sex with , in her own words , HER SOUL MATE ! Coupled with the fact she was still seeing this bottom feeder AFTER he had left the area . Hey , drug induced sex is rape . But , UNLESS SHE'S WILLING , it's effects don't last indefinitely ...........

The introduction of the possibility of date rape drugs is artificial at this late point. Clearly, the writer is setting the stage for a reconciliation. The original story clearly indicated her commitment to comforting slimy Harry. She herself confirmed a lot of what was on the CD. Who drugged her in Houston and forced her to continue her liason? Was she drugged when she sent him by email, tapes of herself masturbating and calling his name, years later? Beyond belief. Throughout she justified her whoring on humanitarian grounds and got angry at Victor's lack of understanding! - and now we are going to blame date rape drugs. Remember Victor comparing his and slimy Harry's equipment and finding Harry's is a little thicker. Now we are told he has a monster. Too much! So far the writing is good ( except for Victor/Gary being made to cry all the time. That's not him ), so 4 stars for this chapter.

As anon said, date rape drug is bs based on 10 years of loving emails. Fairy dust, deus ex machinas, and Gods floating down from Olympus are poor substitutes for integrity in your plotting and characterizations.1*

It seems as if this author is headed down the same road as the original author. This chapter has started with the rationalizations and apologetics. Not to mention the re-writing of the history of Alex’s original story. It’s not looking good.

is ridiculous. This is also entirely inconsistent with the first chapter...e.g. now he's an unhappy alcoholic. Just a stupid way to write. He had something interesting before. Now it's becoming LW drivel. 10 years and emails blamed on a date rape drug. Utter bullshit.