All Comments on 'Revenge Ch. 03'

Here comes the revenge. However, at this point in his life, does he deserve revenge? Maybe one of the husbands of the women he screws will be getting revenge on him. Wouldn't that be something?

Still no rating

But does he even deserve revenge? He's essentially doing the same stuff that the bastard Witherspoon was dong with his ex-wife. Then again how sweet would it be to have the both of them left destitute and in a compromising position?

I look forward to seeing what actions he takes, I only hope he doesn't destroy his soul in pursuit of revenge or harm his daughter, she's young kids can be impressed by shiny expensive things.

But he deserves his revenge even if others deserve it against him.

BUT, please don't let him take Nancy back. Please.

Payback is a bitch. Love the story so far.

Everyone keeps saying he has done what Harold did. I don't remember him running off with anyone's wife, stealing anyone's daughter or rubbing any husband's face in anything. Did I miss something?

Was he an inattentive husband?

I do not get the "does he deserve revenge?" comments.

Look out Mr Witherspoon!

There are quite a few grammar, spelling and punctuation errors in all three chapters. (e.g. "He thought he had spied a small mole next to her just hidden right areolas." Is this woman some sort of a freak with two right nipples? Perhaps you meant the singular, AREOLA.

Our anti-hero is a bigger jerk, cuckolding many without discernment or mercy. Good tale but no sympathy for the wimp turned jerk.

Hindsight: While he's not exactly the same, he is still having sex with other men's wives. Those men deserve revenge against him. He knows these ladies are married. Sure the wives are more blameworthy (after all thy, and not he, took a vow of fidelity to their husband's) but that doesn't make him blameless. I would burn the bitch AND strangle the strange.

alex_lover: While I like the story, in this chapter its not at all realistic that his business partner would have no idea who his ex-wife was. That was contrived. The story would not be any worse if Ralph had come in and told him that he had a chance to get his revenge. But the notion that Ralph didn't know who his wife was, when he had written a story about himself and published it, is silly.

is areolae. Because it's Latin.

I can see where it would be totally reasonable for one of his nefarious business partners not to know who his ex was. Remember that he met them after he hit rock bottom. If he never talked about her to them then why would they know?

You took one he'll of a wrong turn, this dude was suppose to be the hero of the story but now his nothing but an ass who fucks married women no sympathy, I'm not even going the finish the rest. You get a 1

I really hope you dont go to the she goes back to him crap where he forgives all shes done. Or that at the end he reconsiders and goes back on the deal and gives them back their money cause hes a "better person bullshit" anyways ill vote when you finish the story

A hero always destroy the bad guys...No mercy for them...

'nuff said.

The guy becomes a jerk. Lacking a decent character to root for I lost interest in this sloppy story. UGH!

On style,you may want to find an editor familiar with American English,since this is set there.I would be a series,not a serial,a cigar not a cheroot and so forth.

As far as the plot goes,it is a hard one,brad does to others what happened to him,so is a prick,but revenge is sweet.....

Just so that you know.

In any kind of English the words you quote carry different meanings unrelated to their American usage or otherwise.

In the story sense, a series is a number of separate stories sharing characteristics that bind them together, such as setting, or characters, etc. A serial is a sequence of stories that follow on one from another. A serial is usually also a series, but the reverse is not true.

A cheroot is a specific kind of cigar, usually a smaller and mechanically produced kind that has no taper at either end and is cut to resemble a paperless cigarette.

The turn around of fortune work in Brad's favour and though he has become a jerk but he is his own man.I like a scene where both Ralph and Brad dpi'ed Nancy while the husband watch for at least a day for each year the miseries was poured on Brad.Forgiveness is only for those who forgives and Nancy is no angel either and thereafter they could use her as a sex toy.

to many stories on this cite are either the husband is a wimp and lets his wife walk all over him. or the husband is a saint and is perfect in every way. people are never perfect.to me this story is much more believable for his flaws.

more more more

I like it.....

Good story. Just the right length of 3 to 4 or 5 pages each chapter. Great character

development. He is everyman betrayed by the wife he still loves. Losing his daughter means he could never forget nor forgive !! I like it.

Nowadays is the best revenge, his living well and gets to destroy his wife, her husband and their livelyhood !! Wow.

The final step is to get his daughter back and let her hate them.

I so excited waiting for the next chapter as

AMerryMan

So. Now he sleeps with married women, he is just now getting to be like x wife. Moving into revenge stage as the author gets set to destroy Nancy's husband. Pretty lame if you ask me. Hoe are we to believe this miraculous turnaround and a partner who is able to execute it.

Very entertaining read. Thanks for sharing.

I must say, I'm diggin' this series! Looking forward to more. Thanks.

But I am waiting to see who gets revenge on whom and who wins in the end. Ralph may not let Brad off lightly if it does not turn out as he wants.

Here we have Job suffering, suffering and turning into a monster. This is a good, but not fun, story.

As well as a satisfying amount of revenge meted out to the ex.

release the whole story at once. every time a chapter comes out, i have to reread the prior chapter(s) to refresh my memory.

Needs a bit more editing but generally well-written. Plot is fairly original. Brad is somewhat sympathetic (he became what he is due to his own hard knocks), but he sure needs some therapy. He is stuck in time and can't seem to move on or find happiness. Nice to gut Witherspoon, but unlikely to bring his daughter back to him. The one really deserving of his revenge is his ex, Nancy. It was her betrayal that, as Obi-Wan Kenobi said in Star Wars, sent Brad over to the "Dark Side." The question is, can Darth Vader (Brad) be redeemed? Thanks for writing.

I agree with Vulcn_in_ohio,'s comments.

Wiith the introduction off the Ralph character it seems the revenge is going to be messy !

I do gope the author writes Brad as a winner at the end of this tale.

Brad of course in an ideal world or story should end up with a loving, beautiful wife and his daughter living a fyll happy life.

The Brad of the first chapter is an asshole. A manipulative user, callously cuckolding someone he knows for no reason other than he can. How is that truly different from Witherspoon? [Susan was a piece of work herself, already a cheater, but she is not the lead in this story.] The fact that chapter two sought to humanize him does not take away from his ultimate character. Chapter three simply showed a harder Brad, and set the stage for his nemesis' comeuppance.

Nancy (and Witherspoon) did him wrong, of that there is no doubt. However, his solution of doing it to others and not remembering the pain and humiliation that he suffered detracts from the (I assume) relative redemption of the final chapter. All the feel good, hooker with a heart of gold, tragic death and memories of his corrupted daughter do not change that.

Not every protagonist will be sympathetic, and the author should have recognized that. He should have embraced the blatant 'asshole' in Brad and ran with it. It would have been a better choice IMHO. If we accept the view of the old Brad (up to Brenda's death), this Brad is infuriating and eminently hypocritical. It is that aspect that detracts from this story of revenge (surely coming in the next chapter).

Also, the miraculous rise from the ashes was a bit too Deus ex Machina for me- six figures for a first effort without negotiations? Everything going well and amassing a fortune, connections across all strata AND somehow keeping his sex life hidden despite being a local celebrity written up in the papers? Not at all realistic.

But I will finish this story, as with most train wrecks, you just gotta see the carnage at the end.

Love it!

The installments are a bit short for my taste. Nitpicking I know!

Thanks for your efforts

Can't wait for the ending. Brad should be/ should have been taking care of his dead prostitute lover's daughter.

Very enjoyable reading. Thank you

You need to explain how Brad helped the hooker's daughter. He had made some real connection to her and before turning totally heartless, he would have remember to help the girl once he had the money to do it. Now, on to the revenge and on how you show he is now heartless and cold.

TONIGHT not tonite.

THROUGH not thru.

Those are just a few of errors your so called editor should have picked up on.

The story reads like its in point form and is quite boring.

sates a lot of frustrations . TK U MLJ LV NV

"Who is this guy?" "Whats his name?" He heard himself ask.

"Whitherspoon.......... Harold Whitherspoon."

ME: YYYESS!!!!!!

Significantly more engaging. We finally get to the revenge. Five stars.

is a waste of time.

Dear readers:

just because YOU speak one form of "the mother tongue" does not mean your version is more correct or preferred by the rest of the world.

get over it!

fucking other men's wives. and blaming witherspoon for doing his married wife.

this tale sucks donkey phalluses

1 star

The first page was enough for me. This is simply a fuck a thon about some super stud pick up artist who has any woman he wants, married or single. What a crock of shit! I'm not even bothering with the remaining chapters. Two stars.

I think its worm-turning time, TK U MLJ LV NV

This is such an excellent tale! Well spun, if dark.

You have penned a page turner and my hat is off to you. My only criticism is that the sex dropped off. It would have been nice to continue with some hot and heavy goings on.

The plot sure is thickening now, though!

The premise of the story was good but I find it hard to sympathize with your character when he's willing to do to other men what he had done to himself...that is take other men's wives! He's no better than the wife that left him!

Just stopped reading.....do yourself a favor, stop writing.

Moving along through the chapters here. No likeable players at all. Brad was used, but now he.is a user.

Despicable characters but what a plot! Well written.

I mean so far the only likable character is the dead hooker, but so far it's a very good story, 5 stars.

Revenge could come for them all. Flush them all. Waiting for someone positive. Who isn't a slut or a thief.

Good story. Brad has become what he hates--a heartless wife stealing rich guy. Now he is in a position to get revenge on Harold and Nancy. Will h follow through or will he ultimately hold back and return to being the fundamentally "good guy" that he was before his ex-wife betrayed him? I'm hoping for revenge in the form of the total destruction of Harold and Nancy, but he may end up holding back because of his love for his daughter. Good set up so far.

Fucking asshole

Didn’t remember reading this previously, but my opinion hasn’t changed at all.

Terrible

Well-written story about a pack of subhuman pieces of shit.

How the f**ck coud someone as humiliated as him bed married women? 2 stars