All Comments on 'Rising Ch. 10'

I started reading your submission quite by accident and I quite like it well enough. I understand too you are an amateur but you need to be more careful with your work.

There are times you would refer Ahma as he instead of she.

It would be preferable if you would do away with the measurement of any anatomy like mentioning Methanial's penis as 11 inches. After all this story would still be considered as a romance as there it involved two people who were in love. It wasn't a smut story that you need to put in the exact size of everything. And you went over board with some words describing Ahma's physique. 'Giant' breasts were a bit hard to swallow. Ample would be fine for her size. Try imagining a small woman with exceptional 'giant' breasts. It would certainly looked more freakish than arousing.

A 'Steward' is a person whose job is to organize a particular event, or to provide services to particular people, so there wasn't a need to capitalize on that and the same for 'master' unless a name was place after that.

Your story would really fly if you would get it proofread and smoothened out all the raw edges.

Good luck.

Love this series. But it was not fair of you to have just a couple of paragraphs on the final page :(

I really hope that the next installment will come soon and will be much longer than this one :)

This is one of the greatest stories here! Sure it took a while for them to have the highly anticipated sex, but thats what makes it great! I cant wait for another chapter.

a whole 2 pages just for sex where did the plot go