by Varis 08
your use of language is very interesting. i've never read anything like it here. where do you get all this from? fantastic!
I could barely tell what U were saying through your poorly crafted 'Poetic' speech. I could barely get an erection from this, because of your language issues. U tried 2 hard 2 B 'sensual' with your language, & not enough with the story. Use plainer speech next time, Please. The IDEA was good, just not well told, is all. Sadly. Ok, I get that most 'porn' lacks subtlety, But thats the main idea, U see. Florid wording does NOT make sexy!