by JWTaylor36
So hot!! Got me soooo hard and wanting to be him in that shower taking it. Very nice. Hope there's more to cum.
For your first try I think you really hit it out of the park...Keep it up (sic)
this was very good for a first try.....hope to read more of you stories soon...
WOULD LOVE TO FIND YOU RUNNING ON A TRAIL AND GOING HOME TO HAVE SOME HOT MAN SEX WITH A HOT MAN LIKE YOURSELF
You really need to continue this story, or at least post more stories. Aside from a couple missed words here and there (accept for except) it was a great story.
Rather than give you specific feedback on your writing, I'll give you the results. My cock is throbbing and hard, I am stroking as I am trying to write this, the images rolling through my head are awesome and I really need to get fucked right now. You really, really turn me on!
Fantastic writing, great submission, I know you probably want constructive criticism to know where the flaws are... but this was really well done. I hope there will be a follow up. I look forward to reading your other work.
Peace and joy,
Shell
If this was a first story then you def need to keep writing! Well done :)
Thanks so much, all, for your comments - FYI, Part 2 is up, Part 3 should be up very soon :)
But I'm glad I found it. Bravo on your first chapter.