All Comments on 'Sacred Duty'

For the life of me I can't figure out why her god didn't take the oppertunity to work a miracle for her and simply cure Alex. I know that devine intervention may be a somewhat overused plot device when dealing with clerical adventures, but hey, a god has to show his power sometimes if only to remind his or her followers that their god is still a potent force to be reckoned with, and I must admit that situation this provided a perfect oppertunity.

Still, even with the bitter sweet ending, this is still one good story!

Kydreamer

"Your silent...",

"Your...so soft....",

"Your turning me on

"Yes, your right Mortimer,"

For heaven's sake. it's YOU'RE

Do it once and I'll assume it's just a typing error

Do it repeatedly throughout the story and it's annoying

Great story, well written. The story follows a natural flow and the sex scenes are very good. One of the best stories I've seen on this site.

Thanks for this excellent work and I hope you will write more stories.

As much as I liked this story, it seemed to drag on and on with no real need to. Like the insects at the begining. I got so bored with the seemingly pages and pages of one thread at a time. Maybe I'm just impatient. Who knows. Anyway, keep up the good work.

Tara

Alex should have lived. I loved the story but i would have been much happier if God saved Alex so Sarah and him could live happily ever after

This story is the best story on this site i have ever read it was absoulutly amazing cngratulations

i loved this story my only nit picking was you called sarah sasha about ten times sorta killed the mood in a few parts but i loved sarah's innocence and the way she blushed expecialy atthe end when they were lvoers keep up tohe good work

dang you killed off Alex! It would have been awesome if they could have apared his life and the two of them could hvae gone off to another place and made a life of their own.....

Wonderfully written story. One problem though is that Sarah turned into Sasha a little too often and that started to tick me off. Other than that, it was a brilliant concept and well executed.

that was without a doubt the best story on this site.

amazing

- Okay, we have a medieval setting but the characters are using modern language like "Cya later." Definitely pulled me out of the story.

- Some structural problems with the plot. Mortimer's outing as the virgin surgeon was out of left field; perhaps some foreshadowing? There was also no previous mention of temple virgins getting kidnapped.

- The escape was far too easy, and the deus ex machina "Daddy's army showing up in the nick of time" thing didn't help.

- Sarah became Sasha about ten times. At one point, I wondered if there was a different character in the scene.

- Grammar issues: "its" is the possessive, "it's" is short for "it is." Another poster mentioned the "your" in place of "you're."

- Great sex scenes, but the final climax seemed rushed to me. It didn't get its due.

- The suspense with the silk-eating bugs was well-handled but you changed your mind many times with the panties. Were they silk or were they cotton? And did the bugs eat cotton as well as silk?

- Overall, some great writing here but you really need to watch those pesky details!

This is one of the best stories I have ever read! Yes, the names chaned a few times, but overall, it was GREAT! I do hope you have written more stories and they are as good as this one.

I loved it to death.

It was perfect.

It was like the perfect tragedy!

The characters were made so real, and the emotions were so fresh!

It's really been a pleasure reading this.

it was ace i loved it wish alex would have lived or she called her baby boy alex insted of felix but wow it was one of the best storys ever read on this site well done and keep it up :)

*girl is a slave, nothing but a slave, girl lives for her Master, girl lives to please to pleasure, girl has learnt there is no greater love then one of Master and slave. For the cold shiny steel metal that encases her slender neck, for girl is owned her name engraved into her metal collar tells people girls name, girls name is !!!!SLAVE!!!! **

I have say I was wet at end of this. But story on scale of hundred you got it. Ending was sort of sad..simply put couldn't you make the kid be named Alex II or something Felix was little put off. Then again is there another Sacred Duty part 2: where Felix gets revenge...for poison that killed his daddy? Who made the poison who made the weapon?

Kind of weird if healing temple can't figure out how to cure it? What if there more assassins out there with same weapon.

But I can't, in all honesty, give you a high rating for it. I don't want to be mean or rude in picking out errors, but I see a lot of potential in this story. First, as has been mentioned, there were too grammatical errors. (I believe you have the usage of "your" and "you're" mixed up, among others). The spelling was, at times, atrocious, and more than once the word choice was utterly incorrect. The dialogue could have flowed better, as well. Finally, a bit more plot development to substantiate the need for 12 pages would also have been nice. I, personally, have to applaud the idea of killing off one of your characters in the end. It adds something different to fiction where everyone is always lives "happily ever after."

Couldn't you have asked someone to proofread or edit it before posting?

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! BRAVO =D

Your = something you own. Your pants. Your car.

You're= you are. You're driving tonight. You're a silly person.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEARN THE DIFFERENCE.

She almost lost her virginity so many times, I was so ready when it happened! But I think about halfway through the story would have been hotter for her to lose it, when she had to hold herself up to avoid falling onto the guy's cock that she hated. That would have been hot for me, and different. Thanks, great read.