Saving Savannah

I did notice a few rooms that she didn't take me into. She said she'd show them to me later. The last thing she showed me was my favorite. Behind the house was the sun and shade area as she called it. It was landscaped beautifully. I'd never seen anything like it. It was a deck and a swimming pool that connected to the house. The area connected to the house was in full sun. There was a glass walled sun room that opened directly onto the deck. Even the ceiling was paneled in thick clear polycarbonate sheets. On the opposite side of the pool wrapping around it to form a "U" shape was a thick and lush border of trees and bushes. The vegetation was so thick that they formed a canopy of shade where you could relax and have shade at even the middle of the day's hottest sun. Under the trees there was the softest grass I've ever felt. There were lounge chairs and cushions everywhere on both the shady side and the sunny side.

"I spend a lot of time here," smiled Kerrie.

"It's so beautiful," I said. "Can I come out here sometimes?" She just looked at me and shook her head.

"Savannah, you can come out here whenever you want to. You're supposed to be relaxing and trying to get over what happened to you and figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your life. I'll have your doctor come out here when she visits you later this morning," she said.

"Kerrie, what time does Greg usually eat breakfast?" I asked.

"Early," she said. "He's usually up at five thirty or six. Then he goes out to run. This morning he did it on his treadmill because he wasn't sure he'd be able to run without stressing the arm. I'd expect him to probably be back outside by tomorrow though. He's so God damned hard headed, that I worry about him sometimes."

"What time does he have lunch?" I asked. She lifted one eyebrow and looked at me.

"That's pretty hard to say," she said. "It really depends on what he's doing and where he is. We pretty much don't stand on ceremony. When we're hungry we just eat. What's going on?"

"I was just wondering how bad he hates me," I said.

"Savannah, he doesn't hate you. He totally understands what you went through and how hard it had to be on you. I guess we all expected to have you lash out. We know it's going to take you a while, if ever to get over this. That's why he wanted to have you stay here instead of in the state home. He wanted you to be comfortable and have everything you need," she said. "Sooner or later you'll run into him, around here and you'll see. Everything is fine."

I wanted it to be sooner rather than later. I really wanted to talk to him again. I'd never thought about anyone in my life the way I thought about him.

"Savannah, there is something that we need to talk about though. Don't push too hard with Greg. Give it some time and let him come to you. He's really shy and if you push too hard, he'll just move the other way," she said.

We went to Kerrie's office and I sat in a chair and watched her do what she did. She went over the lists of people who were supposed to be in each building and made sure they were actually there. She went over accounts and other things that just bored me to tears. One of the things that amazed me was that everyone on the property referred everything to her.

The phone rang and she answered it and told me that my shrink was here to see me. She told me that the doctor would be waiting for me on the deck.

I went down to the deck and as I was walking down the hallway I heard a door close sharply. I ignored it, but I was sure that the same door opened when I went further down the hall. I stepped out onto the deck and then realized why Kerrie had given me the tour of the property so early. On the sunny side of the deck the sun was so bright that someone with her complexion wouldn't keep it for long. I pointed towards the shady side and sat down in a chair.

"My God it's beautiful here," said the doctor. "I wonder how much it cost him to get these trees put in a semi-circle like this. All these big old weeping willows and those magnolias, it smells so good here. The shade is so cool here too. It must be ten or fifteen degrees cooler here under the trees. It kind of reminds me of my favorite swimming-hole back at home, except of course you got a pool instead of just a pond. And there don't seem to be any bugs here. Why the hell aren't there any bugs?"

I just looked at her like she was as crazy as she thought I was.

"Okay, let's get down to it," she said. "How do you feel today?"

"I don't know," I said. "How am I supposed to feel? Can we talk about something else? I have some questions I'd rather ask you about instead of just talking about my feelings."

"That's a good thing," she said. "Go ahead, ask away."

"Yesterday, I was talking to someone and for no good reason, I just went crazy," I told her. "I started yelling and screaming at a person who really didn't deserve it."

"That's a good sign," she said. "I've been kind of worried about you because you seemed to be keeping all of that crap bottled up inside. You're going to have to let it all out at some point. Our emotions can be volatile. You have to vent some of that anger and frustration over what was done to you at some point. There's also the fact that for a long time, your freedom was taken away from you. You are going to be very untrusting for a long time Savannah. You're going to question everything people do for a long time. But you're going to have to learn to trust someone at some point in time, Honey. It's just not healthy. None of us can really be alone for very long. We're just not made that way."

She spent the rest of the morning asking me questions about my childhood and how I grew up. She asked me about what the sex felt like when I was in the house and before. She asked me about past relationships and everything else you could think of. She asked me how I felt about the baby I was carrying and what I wanted to do with my future. By the time she'd left I realized that I'd never really considered what I intended to do with my life either before the events that had happened or during them.

I was thinking so hard that I ended up falling asleep.

"Savannah, have you had lunch yet?" It was Kerrie tapping me on the shoulder. I looked up at her and just shook my head. "Pete's guys are probably going to have to do some overtime to make up for the parts the new guy screwed up. I'm running out to Burger King for them. Why don't you come along with me? We'll drop off their food and then maybe you and I can relax by the pool."

From the amount of food we bought, I had trouble believing that only five men were going to eat it. Kerrie also picked up orders for the security guards at the front gate and the two accountants who worked with her. Apparently, everyone else wanted something other than Burger King.

I'd only had fast food a few times in my life so I was really excited. It smelled so good that my mouth was watering. Kerrie and I distributed the food all over the house. She naturally went to the shop to give Pete and his guys their food. I delivered the food to the accountants. We'd dropped off the food for the security guards on our way in.

I was just about to sit down and dig in when Kerrie told me to take the last bag over to the room next to the sun room. I was almost pissed at her because I was hungry.

I knocked on the door. "Hey your lunch is here," I said smiling. I heard someone trying to open the door and having trouble. So I pushed on it just as he pulled from the other side. He pulled the door so hard that I was dragged into the room and almost fell.

I looked up into those brown eyes and everything I'd been thinking about saying just disappeared.

"Sorry," he said. "I guess I'm not used to only having one hand."

I couldn't think of anything to say. "Savannah, are you okay?" he asked. I just smiled stupidly.

Finally I was able to get my mouth to work and things got worse. "It's Burger King," I said smiling. He started smiling too.

"I am so sorry about..." I began but I didn't know how to finish.

He just smiled again. "Savannah, don't worry about it. And you really were right," he began. He obviously had no idea of what he was doing to me. Every time he said Savannah, my knees got weaker.

"According to your doctor, you're going to need to vent sometimes. And you're going to need to talk about what happened to you. So if you need someone to talk to or just someone to scream at, I'm here."

"But you didn't do anything wrong," I said. "You really couldn't have known what was going to happen."

"I thought about it yesterday," he said. "In a lot of ways, I took the easy way out, because I didn't know you and I guess I'm uncomfortable around people. Maybe if I'd been less timid and thought about it more, none of what happened to you would have happened. I'm sorry for what I did. So why don't you go eat."

I just nodded my head and stood there smiling at him like a dummy who just opened her first Christmas present. I really didn't want to leave. I'd have been just as happy to just stand there and watch him.

"Vannah, aren't you going to go and eat?" he asked. "Your stomach is growling. Are you eating enough?"

He didn't realize it but he had seriously fucked up. I almost blacked out as all of the blood in my body descended towards my nether regions. For over a year I'd been held against my will and assaulted on a regular basis. Even before that I'd been conditioned over a relatively short period of time to use what I had to get what I wanted from men. But I'd never really wanted it myself. All he'd done was to remove the first syllable of my name. He'd personalized it and given me his own little nickname and in doing that he'd made me his.

I really didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, but I knew then that I wanted to spend it in that house with him.

"Earth to Savannah. Your stomach is growling. You need to eat," he was saying when I zoned back in.

"Oh," I said. "Don't worry about that. I'm always hungry, I'm pregnant."

Then it was his turn to be speechless. He looked at me and things got worse. I think I zoned out again. I was imagining that I was back in that God damned shack again. And as usual someone was fucking me. But this time I was enjoying it. I spread my legs wider and reached around and pulled him further into me. I started swinging my hips into him and moaning. The person on top of me was Greg and it all just made sense for the first time.

Now I understood why all of those men wanted to do that to me. I also understood why Jaime had started doing it with Earl.

"Savannah, are you okay?" he asked me again. I snapped out of it and realized that it was only a daydream. I quickly nodded my head.

"We'll talk later," he said. "For now let's get you fed." He led me back to the pool area where Kerrie was already eating. When she saw us coming she smiled at me and I understood then why she'd sent me to deliver his food.

"Kerrie, Savannah is pregnant," he said. "We're going to have to make adjustments."

"Wow, that was fast," she said. "I only left you two alone for five minutes." If it was possible for someone with skin as dark as Greg's to turn red, he would have. He got out of there so fast that it was almost as if he disappeared.

An hour later, Kerrie and I were relaxing in the pool. Actually I was in the pool lying down on my stomach on a floating mattress while she reclined on a similar mattress under the trees only a few yards away. We were talking about buying clothes and to tell you the truth I had no interest in it until she reminded me that in only a month or so I'd begin to balloon up. She had an iPad and was looking up things about pregnancy and what I'd need. I was just so amazed by everything that most of it wasn't registering.

Pete came wandering out and quickly ran to the shady side to avoid the sun. I laughed quietly and was about to say something when I noticed that even as he spoke to Kerrie, he was looking at me. I recognized that look. I'd seen it so many times before. Mr. Jenkins had it, my dad had it and the men in the shack often got it. Fear went through me. I got off of the mattress and into the pool. It was always my ass and legs that triggered that type of interest so I made sure that my legs were completely underwater. I reached for a towel and tied it around my waist like a skirt.

When I had tied it I went back through the sun room into the kitchen. I had a bag of chips and a soda with me when I went back to the pool.

"I wondered where you'd gone," said Kerrie. "I have to find you a good OB-GYN soon." She started talking about of those mundane things all over again. I, on the other hand, had other things to think about. I'd noticed that when Pete looked at me, he'd had that look. I now knew that it meant he'd been thinking about fucking me. But even though I'd seen it, all it made me want to do was cover up. I didn't like him looking at me. It was confusing, one guy could say my name and I was ready to let him fuck me and probably even fuck him back, but the other guy just didn't do anything for me at all. I was learning.

I saw Greg in the sun room and quickly threw the towel to the side of the pool. I started the raft I was floating on to slowly spinning. I stuck my butt up more in the air and spread my legs. I wanted him to get a good look. I kept my head down as if I didn't notice him but I watched him out of the corner of my eye.

He noticed me alright. He noticed me so much that he almost fell into the pool. He spoke to Kerrie and refused to even look at me again, but I could tell that I'd been successful. He was flustered as hell. I'd hooked him, now all I had to do was to reel him in.

As he turned to leave, making sure that he didn't even glance in my direction, I called him.

"Greg, you said that we'd talk later," I said. I picked up my towel and tied it around me. He was clearly relieved.

He sat down in the kitchen and pointed at a chair on the opposite side of the table. "So, I was thinking," he began.

"Can we go to my room to talk," I said. "Some of the things I need to talk about might be personal and I'm not sure how I'd feel about anyone just walking in and hearing it."

He just smiled and led the way up the stairs and to my room. "You know that you can change the room around if you'd like to," he said. "We have all kinds of furniture so if there's something you need that you don't see we might have one somewhere else."

I closed the door and went and got on the bed. He looked at me curiously. I started to pull the bottoms of my swim suit down and he gasped.

"Savannah, what are you doing?" he asked.

I just smiled at him. I was so hot I thought I was going to pop. "I'm getting ready so you can fuck me," I said.

"Uhm, Savannah, I'll see you later," he said.

"Why?" I asked. "What did I do wrong? I saw the way you looked at me, downstairs. I just thought that you'd want to."

He closed the door almost silently. I sat there on the bed totally confused. Then I started crying. A few minutes later Kerrie was there.

"Okay, what happened now?" she asked. I told her the whole story and she just sat there shaking her head.

"Savannah why would you do anything that stupid?" she asked.

"How the hell would I know how to go about asking a guy to fuck me?" I yelled. "Usually they just look at me and when they think they have something I want they just do it."

"Mr. Jenkins knew that I wanted that car and only had three hundred and seventy four dollars, once we both realized what each other wanted he just stuck it in me and I got my car. The guys in the shack didn't even have to go through that. Neither did the guys in the gas stations."

"Savannah, remember when I warned you about pushing too hard?" she said. "This was way too hard."

"Greg is not the kind of guy who's going to try to take advantage of you," she said.

"Well maybe I wanted to take advantage of him," I said.

"Savannah, think about this," she said. "You just got free from a bunch of guys who did that to you. In the first place, we don't even have your STD screenings back yet. You could have some kind of disease. In the second place, Greg isn't going to start something with someone unless he's in a relationship with them. And in the third place, if you really do like him as much as I think you do, you've just given yourself a huge set back."

She was right of course. Kerrie took me shopping and to doctor's appointments. She spoke to me every day the way we always had. She even went with me when I went to the state women's prison to talk to Beulah. I'd put it off for as long as I could. Kerrie waited while I went into a little room with a window and a speaker.

I sat down in front of the window and the metal shade went up. There was still a piece of bulletproof glass between us, but Beulah was on the other side.

She looked awful. She'd never been a pretty woman to begin with. Her hair was chopped off short and raggedly. Her eyes kept darting from side to side.

"Savannah, you have to tell them the truth," she said. "You know that I'm your friend. I didn't kidnap you. I didn't fuck you either. Please Savannah, they took my baby away from me. And Savannah, they killed all of the boys. They killed Joe too, Savannah. Haven't I suffered enough? I was just like you Savannah. They kidnapped me too. Tell them that."

Her eyes looked wild and crazy. She reached up and put her hands on the glass like she wanted to grab me. "Savannah, they shot Jennifer. She was your best friend and they shot her down like a fucking dog. You should help me just for Jennifer's sake. If she hadn't helped you to escape, we'd all be back at the house having fun like always. Savannah, I raised Melvin like he was my own son. That baby growing in your belly is like my grandchild. Don't you want your baby to know its Grandma?"

For a few moments I just sat there and stared at her.

"Beulah, you're out of your mind," I told her. "We aren't friends. You may not have helped to kidnap me but for over a year you just stood back and watched while they abused me and raped me. You never once lifted a finger to prevent me from being beaten or anything else. You are not any friend of mine. Neither was Jennifer. The only reason she helped me escape was because she was afraid that Melvin was beginning to get tired of fucking her and she didn't want to have to compete with me for a spot in his bed. All of you were sick. You said it yourself. You raised those boys like you were their mother, but you fucked them too. Your own daughter had sex with not only her father but all of her half brothers as well. She fell in love with one of them and only helped me to help herself."

"But I do intend to try my best to help you, Beulah," I said. "They're talking about sentencing you to life in prison. I'll try to make sure you get the death penalty." I stood up and turned around and was starting to walk out of the room.

"Fuck you, Savannah," she spat. "Even if they do give me the chair, you'll be dead before I am. This was your only chance. Things ain't always like they seem."

Truthfully, I didn't pay her any attention. There was an ache that I couldn't get rid of. For the ten days following the incident in my room. I hadn't seen Greg even once. Kerrie had warned me that if I pushed too hard he'd go the other way. He, the Sheriff and Kerrie's uncle, the county Judge, had all gone fishing in the Florida Keys. I'd asked Kerrie how long they'd been planning the trip. She admitted that it was just Greg being Greg

I did hear around the house that he got back a short time later, but it didn't matter, I never even caught a glimpse of him. He was living in the house that he'd put up for his lost puppies and I was living in the main house. Except for the lady who did the cooking and another who did the laundry and cleaning, I was alone most of the time.