All Comments on 'Scratching Deep'

You asked for comments. Well I did not like the theme. I also didnt like the idea of it lacking believability in real life. Pretty well written. The characters lack personality and consistency.

You left out pimping, pandering and projectile-vomit inducing. Constructive criticism? The next time you feel you just have to write a story like this one, go on a jog (or brisk walk) if your ticker can handle it. That way, we all win.

the author said <i>This story is about a need for sex, marriage vows, betrayal, revenge and sex </i>

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REVENGE? where?

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How is telling a whore wife whose actions are cutting off the husband sexually... who now has STD.... to keep on fucking but get some $$$ for it ...revenge?

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kill yourself... Please.

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this isnt a serious story... you are not a serious author...

I hate pimp wimp stories almost as much as wimp stories. Clever plot turn, having the stupid wimp turn pimp, but it is still a wimp story.

Entertaining, but a little too convenient. Everything turns out just as they both want. No real tension.

Grammatically it's ok, but the plot sucks and that all that counts.

Perhaps 10%. He really should have stuck to his initial decision to divorce her....

He has two bisexual nympho's who don't need him. He could walk out that door and the two women wouldn't bat an eye lid. So if he's happy making money that way then I think he is a sad person. But pimps do make a lot of money from their women. So he won't have to worry about that. As for the story itself? Two or three years ago before I read any stories on this site or others I would say that no man would do this. They would just leave and not come back. But one thing I have learned is never underestimate the power of a woman and how much money a man can make from her, also never underestimate the power of self humiliation. This person in the story is a classic case. There is no revenge the wife is doing what she knows best and enjoying it. Where then is the revenge?

I agree with both GW and Bruce in S. America. Not your best.

There were weaknesses. The boss' wife had far too much video coverage of the entire world to be believable, but it was different. This genre is 99% the same old stuff. Trying something different and writing it well should get high marks. That's my theory, anyway.

Revenge for a cuckolded husband -SHEEEEEiTTTTT.

The promise it started with soon faded. This was not an entertaining story about some people. It was a story about *things*. The characters were two-dimensional cardboard cutouts. Well below your average. Spelling and grammar were ok, but several "misplaced modifiers" made for clumsy sentences. Story line had no credibility. For me, it was a waste of time reading it. No entertainment value. Not even its failed attempt at humor. <p> <p> <p> You asked for comments. Those are mine.

He took his "wifes" weakness and mental instability and turned it into a profitable income for them. The bosses wife was over the top with all the video capability. But the revenge aspect was good. Actually owning a clean whore is better than fucking a wife who is having bareback with others. I find it difficult to understand the pH change when the guy is fucking her with a condom unless of course she is reacting to the lubricant or rubber. Fucking someone's wife is nasty and use to be criminal, adultry. Blackmail is ugly, nasty, and criminal but good revenge on the fucker. Winding up with the rich bitch has to be a wonderful life and still married to the whore that loves you. All told a good fantasy and no one was harmed in the telling except those that deserved it.

Your character of the husband changes in one sentence from concern about his marriage, including lines about not having sex with her ever again, to a pimp. That's a betrayal of a reader, not a surprise twist. From that point on, the story is a not very good stroke story with no introspection.

Scorpio,

Good story overall. I agree with a couple of thigs the others have said though. I do think that it should have gone one way or another, i.e., either retribution or sorrow and forgiveness.

You are a top writer in my book though regardless.

Matt Moreau

Most men would have dumped Lynn's sorry fucking ass, however, the idea of keeping her as a personal whore and yet also as a "loving wife" appeals to me ever so much more. Good concept and congratulations on a well written story

You have delivered a story that approaches cheating from a completely different angle. It's well thought out though I doubt most wives would be so pliable as to do what Lynn did. Bravo! Well done!

no real emotions going on in this story. It simply was a tale told, nothing to really keep me interesting in the characters, only to see how the plot worked out. Just so happens that everything went as planned, interesting how they planned to have her handcuffed and gagged, yet the gagging of he while the two raped her seemed like a spur of the moment thing.

Plans are made, then they fall apart, it's what happens after that that makes a story exciting.

...but you should have worked on it more before submitting. There were lots of contradictions in it. For example, the wife was originally going with multiple partners because she needed lots of sex, but later she was supposed to be satisfied with HALF of Nick?

You need to work this over and get all your motivations straight.

Not really erotic but I totally loved how he hired his wife out to the men she was already fucking. Some really good plot twists; but some lousy ones as well. A doctor would never discuss a patients medical issues. Never. At all. It could get them barred from practicing medicine.

I did not care for the blackmail but this story punishes the bad guys and result in a happy ending. Nick married a slut but he managed to get his self respect back and pay back those who destroyed his marriage. Yes - at best you can say they arrived at an open relationship. I do not believe that Lynn loved Nick. Aurora was the one in charge so she could have easily told Lynn to play out that dildo scene where she proclaimed her love for Nick. That would make Nick easy to handle. Blackmail is a double edge sword and even if you trap a weasel in a corner he will fight so this angle in the business is just plain dumb. Thousands of dollar a month for a slut who will put it out for nothing. It would have been better for Nick to set a debt of 25% of her lover's assets to be paid in $500 increments monthly and per session until the debt was paid. The same effect but the lover would know that there was an end to the blackmail. So Lynn was drugged and fucked and she never realized it? The whole part where Aurora entered the story drove it into fantasyland and asked the question whether Nick was really in charge of his life. After all Aurora knew things about his life and "business" that he had spent considerable effort to hide. Was Lynn seduced by Aurora after the rape? Did they plan for Lynn to be caught fucking around hoping to bring Nick in to punish her Aurora's husband and open up her marriage?

...even though the husband kept the cheating wife. On the down side, the whole thing seemed to read like a police report. There seemed to be very little emotion expressed by anyone. Overall, the formula you used works. Keep on writing, you do it well. -M

ok I try to be brave. your writing good but bad stories. every now or then there is one ok. thats where people vote. usually I read half a page and then I know: this is again not erotic. why? If I wanna read a James Bond story I do that. is this a james bond blog? no. is either woman in this story erotic ? maybe but how should I know ? ten words for each and no qualities at all. do I want to read a drama about a raped wife who after that can't stop fucking ????? how logic is that. do I see a guy with feelings? no cold as stone, he could have married a whore without head for his sex. but as I said your writing is good but not erotic. so want to have more votes and good ones, the stories have to be better, more fantasy . I can't really see anyone wanking over this story, do you ?

we would never have anything to do with the diseases that slut is bound to get over time. Yuck!

You had a lot of different, maybe even unique conflicts/tensions. To me though, all of your resolutions were weak. If he was so hurt by her actions, why would he put up with them. How did Aurora get feeds from the wifes' bedroom, after it had been setup by techie friend, same with RV. Lots of little contradictions not covered by the story. I felt dissatisfied when it was over. Not a WTF, more of a 'this could have been so much better if...". Thanks for sharing.

This story did not need to recover most of the previous story. as i read it , kept thinking this is the same story, why did he rewrite the same story. jumping to the end resulted in seeing a change then had to do a search to find where the story deviated from the original.

liked the story, even if i found it implausible that a man could be that blase about his wife cheating.

keep writing

I was really put off by your style, early on. But it grew on me--your style, until at the end I seriously dug it. You do need to pay closer attention to punctuation and word usage, particularly your verbs.

As a general statement, while I like the voice, the almost total lack of strong emotional response from anybody in the story, would in a longer work--a novel, say, become a little tedious. But it certainly works for this short story.

It's also funny in some places which is welcome. So, the guy turns his wife's infidelity into a slightly insane business venture. No problem, although he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy I'd want to hang around with. Nice change of direction with Aurora.

Good going.

I am seriously troubled by your comments at the beginning and end of the story. Too bad, I say. I don't care about them and they don't have the slightest influence on whether I vote or comment on this or any story. My advice is to take those paragraphs out.

I always enjoy science facts with fantasy it makes a story interesting. I will agree with some other comments not a lot of emotion from the people. That is an area that could be improved: should have shock, anger, depression and melancholy perhaps rage. Overall good!

great story not really erotic but kept me reading to see where it would go.

I thought that your story was a little on the technologies side, but that in its self made the story more believable. One thing I found about the story is that it's fast paced and if you try to rush read through the material you will lose some of the nuance that snuck into the background.I had to go back and reread some of the story to get the full meaning of what was going on.It is a good reading story and draws you in to all of the subterfuge and intrigue of the plotting females, and the main male character. thanks for the good story....Rich

Story was pretty good, agree the "hero" seemed a bit too emotionless. Spelling and grammar not bad, very few typos. But it would be difficult for an OB-GYN to know that sperm in a swab from a woman's puss is from a different man than her spouse unless a DNA test were performed, and that takes a few days (police rush job) to a few weeks. The test is not something that could be done in the doctor's office in a few hours' time. Please recheck your science.

<p>You started off with one hell of a premise used to discover a cheating wife. The whole storyline around the yeast infections and the science of increasing probability of reinfection was nothing short of brilliant. The whole first half of this tale was compelling.</p>

<p>The second half of the story however, has a completely different tone. It is almost as if it were written by a different person. Perhaps too much time lagged in the writing. Whatever it was, the story crashed and burned in the end. What a shame. It began with such strength and promise.</p>

...the story was good I don't like the pimp and whore bit but realize it was part of the story line.Thanks for the entertainment. Mike from Texas

Now this was intriguing! Some subtle differences from the other version but altogether very satisfying. Hard to say which version I liked best so thanks for two excellent Scorpio tales. Pete.

I really liked the story.

One part of it did confude me though.

After she was discovered and made her lovers use condoms, why would her vaginal ph change as there would be no actual deposits made into her?

Otherwise an excellent read.

Thanks Jack

When I see a tale authored by Scorpio44 I know I will be entertained. This lived up to my expectations. A little 'James Bondish' with extreme remote video feeds and awesome intelligence; but well worth reading. Enjoy your efforts and I take it as presented without too much analysis. Please keep it up.

So, now she's confirmed as a cheating whore, & he's a pimp; what a pile of crap! You're a better writer than this; I'm disappointed, what more can I say?

I like the narrator's honesty, but he's a jerk. His wife appears to love him, but she's a cheating slut. Aurora is a strong female character, but she's another cheating slut. I really liked the idea of the mobile brothel, but it got used what, one time?<P>

You've got some chops in plotting & dialog, but I honestly regret the time I spent reading this tale. Thanks for the effort you invested, I'm just sorry I can't say I enjoyed the story.

I enjoyed it... Thanks for the submission...!

Great story with a twist to the usual cheating spouse story. Keep up the good work

Your story was technically well-written, but the content was disgusting to me. No more of this, please. Rich

Last 2 chapters to far out to be good. Shorten your storys.

There were too many unexplained events. For example, how Aurora knew so much so early and had everything video taped. Money will buy almost anything, but knowing who to bug and when and where to do it is not easy to come by.

i like your touch an your stories. very good.

This was just straight up lousy. I hope he loves HIV.

please keep the stories coming the revenge in this story was excellent

Thiis story was not to your usual imaginative standard but was still a fair story.

I have been having a lot of fun reading your stories because they are inventive and, for the most part, are well constructed with respect to our language.

As to the comments, one deals with writing beautifully (though the perversion of our language presented by the problem has impacted writing so profoundly that it is pretty much ignored), and the other comment addresses a more significant grammatical error.

The first has to do with splitting verb phrases. If you say, "I want to have financially helped in putting her through school", you have split the verb phrase and made the idea both more difficult to read and grammatically questionable. It would be much more elegant and correct to say, "I want to have helped financially in putting her through school."

The second comment deals with sentence structure and personal pronouns used with proper names and the conjunction "and". (e.g. "John and I/me, she/her, he/him, we/us, they/them"). In English, proper nouns do not change format to be subjective or objective, but the personal pronouns do. For example, "John and I/me went to the store". (Phrase "John and I/me) is subjective - subject of the sentence. "John and I" is correct. In your sentence, "She let Aurora and I know...", Aurora and I/me are the direct object of the sentence and it should read Aurora and me.

A magic trick to use in deciding which pronoun to use is to leave out the proper name and the word "and". You wouldn't say, "She let I know" would you? Other examples --, "Give Jane and she/her the packages -

Give she the packages? (direct object) or "I bought these for Darla and he/him -I bought these for he? (object of the preposition "for").

I hope these suggestions are helpful. I like your writing.

The revenge theme is well used and this story certainly qualified -

No one in it has much in the way of ethical or moral standards but that simply means it could work lol -

Nicely done -

Good to read something different which actually rings true. Also very good to read how a husband and wife work together to get what they both want.

Keep it up.

I liked this story better than the couple of yours I have read in which you have the husband seek revenge on his cheating wife. As far as I'm concerned sex is sex and love does not have to come into it, however I agree that it is much much better when the two happen together, as you show as a fairly common theory through your stories.

As always your ability to convey emotions and feelings is unsurpassed.

I have read through all the SCORPIO44 stories and currently going through the SCORPIO44A stories. I have voted for every one I have read as I feel it is the least I can do to repay the author for writing and making the story available to me.

I have to say this story is one of your best. It has everything needed to be great. It held my interest from the start to the end. I enjoy the LW series very much but mostly the revenge against cheating wives stories, not that this is one of thoses.

Your solution was innovative. While it would not work for me personally I can see where you were going with this. Great outside-the-box story. Keep it up.

while it was different, I don't see how keeping her was worth while. It may before the hero in your story but to me he was rather weak.

Huedogg2

This stupid ass story reminds me of Matt M pussy wimpy stories I gave this story a perfect 1 star! How is keeping the slut worthwhile ?! She's so fucking nasty she even fucks her lover at a party the loser pathetic wimpy husband threw. She so fucking dirty that she's catching infections from all of the different "deposits" she's receiving ; and the husband still wanted that tramp as a wife & actually wanted to stick his dick in her parasite swamp infested vagina?! Yeah this story pissed me off no REAL man unless he's ok with having a whore as a wife & sticking his dick in that sewer she calls a pussy... You sir are a wimp! You should've just dumped the skank & moved on all that extra shit was just bullshit ...

Very elaborate plan. However, it all starts with logical thought. Neither 'kill the bitch' nor 'I'm too helpless to make a decision' thinking could create this great outcome. Hubby simply considers the pros and cons of ALL of his options. Of course, having a rich, gorgeous super-woman lurking in the background eventually helps. (Actually, the unusual, probably inadvertent, weakness of the story is that Aurora becomes the new Hero. She could have done everything she wanted to do without enlisting the aid of a petty grifter and a slut!)

The erotic scenes were artfully executed. The mechanics of writing (spelling, grammar, timing, etc.) were very adequate. There were several 'branches' which did not seem necessary to the orderly progress towards the finale, but they were not overly distracting.

it's a fun story. i think you could do more character development of the main charact and his wife.

I love reading cheating wife revenge stories, but they tend to all become the same after so many. This one was truly original in the journey to the ending. I loved it!

too bad two good stories were combined to make one bad one

You made a nice left turn on the plot from cheating wife to selling wife.

the very best revenge is best served HOT "as in HOT wife and Lover"

Have enjoyed all your stories so far keep up the good work

unfortunately, the plot then became so convoluted and ventured so far into the realms of pure fantasy that my attention began to wander. Long before the end, I'd lost interest in all of the characters as not one of them showed any redeeming features.

Too many things wrong with his planning that definitely would have gone awry in real life. An interesting variation on the theme of a cheating wife but - two familiar things were present: a wonderfully clever husband and a completely stupid slut of a wife. The neat writing and interesting plotting of the opening section just fell apart.

Enjoyable but I would have liked a little more plot and pehaps not such a rapid finish, it left me feeling as though you rushed the ending. You could turn this into a mini series with continuing adventures of the three?

Still I enjoyed it as I do with your other sotires.

The story has symmetry from being to end. Nice. You have a talent in most of your stories of holding the reader's attention. Please don't stop writing, as your stories are well worth the time to read. Good luck with your writing.

I have enjoyed many of your stories. This one is definitely different form most of them. I'm not comfortable with the pimping of one's wife but see where you are going with this.

Thanks for the effort you make in putting together readable stories that are entertaining yet at times insightful.

I appreciate the read. 5* for originality.

i love your stories this was a good one

If your wife is a whore sell her ass and make some money.

The story was great, the writing excellent and this is definitely one of my dreams come true. Please continue writing, you do a great job!!!

Cops don't care if her boss hits on your wife; that's a civil matter, not criminal. Coming in the door with a camera flashing? Overreach.

I think Aurora left too many clues for her husbands lawyers to cast doubt on the "rape" though.

Didn't really like the whole turn her in to a whore idea but hey not bad

I checked to see if I had previously commented, I failed to see any comment but possibly I missed it, I have made mistakes before. I liked this story although I did not see a strong revenge acted upon although it was an interesting story. His slut wife got fucked all she wanted and he reaped the benefits, no revenge there. The rich lady got revenge on her husband but that was not a main entry. Oh, well, I did like the story and that is what counts, so there. Thank you for writing.

too.there's an old song "It's cheaper to keep her" In this case it was more fun too.

I

..how many men do we know with the patience and detachment to even attempt this? Most men who really burn, with either passion or anger, could not be so robotic. Still, a fun read, as with most of this writer's product, and I gave it four stars. I'd rather be well entertained than be assured the storyline will fit some rigid pattern, arriving eventually at X result. Yawn.

well written.

i don't think discovering a cheating wife should = turning into a criminal mastermind.

but i get that , in this story instead of BTB divorce & proly losing 1/2 his assets .

a lose / lose situation , seems to turn into a win / win / win .

fun , interesting , diferent . enjoyed reading it .

story made me " think " .. and i always like those sort of tales...

if only because they make me think ... she is wrong / he is wrong / its all wrong.

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver

I've literally read a dozen stories exactly like this before on this site. Nothing new or original in this one. The only difference is the names of the characters.

That person must have read this tale a dozen times and mistaken the title for something else. The run-of-the-mill would be some BTB tirade that left the cheating spouse broke, busted, disgusted... or possibly dead. Pretty damned predictable.

I'll second the comment of the previous person who described this as a fun read that provoked thought. If a few readers were unable to follow along and missed the romp by not suspending their narrow view of things when needed, that's their problem, not the writer's

Almost the same as "Scratching The Itch" with a plausible ending. Writing was good. Cheers!

Not too fond of pimping her out stories even for the big pay off. Well written and almost believable. I have read many of your stories most are fun, some are disturbing, and a few are exciting. I like lots of detail about their everyday lives and loves and you do give that, Keep up the good work..

Enjoyed the premise for the story and the happy ending. Not my choice for a lifestyle but if it works for you, fine.

But would she still need to adjust pH if the johns are using condoms?

I like your stories and this one is as good as any of them, great way to make money.

Ed Grocott

with making Lynn his whore and pimping her out but i dont understand how or why he is still fucking and kissing her as if he wont catch something. Basically we have a cuckold who in real life would no doubt contract an std from his wife. I'd set her up in the guestroom and treat her like the slut she 2 stars bc i hate cuckolds

Loved reading this story.

Into stupid.

fucking shit. if you have to write about cucks and vaginal infections GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Like they say; 'different strokes for different folks'. Well thought story and not the usual cuck rubbish. He weighed up the options and made a choice that he could live with without losing his wife. It would have been better to have more details about how Aurora hacked into Nicks systems. I can see that the RV wasn't very well protected but the system at home should have been pretty safe! All in all a good read.

Lots of interesting and creative twists, and certainly different from the usual story line. otherwise, it was a bit too long for my tastes. Stories more than 3 pages long become a little overdone with nonessential details.

I do not think that I could do what the husband did and rent out my wife for money, but that is just me. Good story

This started well. The science was presented clearly and in an interesting way. After the confrontation the story fell apart. There was no tension or emotion. She was cardboard; he was implausible. Wasted effort but with promise.

But it worked for him. Don't think it would for most people.

pretty absurd and pretty disgusting cuck&whores story.

Not a lot going for this rubbish. Guess I just made the .115%. 1 *

cuck shit.

Not even well written,pure BS,not worth reading is all i have to say,1*

The overall story was aided by the unexpected twists and turns in the plot line. However, a number of those twists and turns were often "light" in credibility or perhaps believe-ability. I think the two best examples were, first, the reaction and course of action by the husband. Huh? A very unusual reaction to the discovery of her infidelity without a prior hint that hint that he could be a one-in-a-million husbands. Second: where the hell did Aurora come from!? All of a sudden, Pete's totally outclassed by a woman who's got more computer and electronic capability than NSA and the FBI put together! Can she really get HD sound and video on any room or set of room at the drop of a hat? To say that character needed some more development (or at least plausible explanation) understates the issue.

Good action love story.

1*

What crap ... seriously. If was supposed to be funny - it wasn't. If it was supposed to be erotic, or arousing, or in some way or another sexually stimulating - it wasn't. There was no mystery, no who dunnit, no appreciable characters to care for - OK maybe Nick and Alan as stand up friends/neighbors. That's about it.