All Comments on 'Searching for Sheila Ch. 03'

I like it. It's reminds me of some the seedy black and white detective movies of the the 40's.

Good story, good characters, good flow.

Hope you finish

How do you say that?

...but soon! Good story - I'd like to get to the core of it all.

Nicely done so far. Keep writing your doing fine!

Enjoyable and worth time to read.

Thank you for posting

but why does your hero and the detective have almost the same last night. A bit confusing...

I hope he doesn't wind up with the whore, one is enough. Good story.

you are all a bit young. this story is stolen. there is even an old black and white movie that exists. I guess it was humphrey bogart who played the main part. nice retelling but don't claim it as your own. it's a classic.

I feel compelled to comment on my own story in light of a comment left by a Mr. Anonymous in which he offers the opinion that this story was lifted from an old movie. Admittedly I am a fan of film noir and hard-boiled pulp stories, and I have used elements of both in the narrative and especially in the dialog. One reader said the story reminded him of an old time seedy black and white movie, and that's exactly the effect I was after. In fact the character of Arnold in the present chapter was suggested by a gunman in "The Maltese Falcon", but he is by no means a carbon copy. "The Big Sleep", which is regarded as a classic of film noir, does dramatize Humphrey Bogart as detective Philip Marlowe rescuing a young woman being held hostage by a gangster, and it is perhaps this story line which Mr. Anonymous found familiar to my protagonist tracing his sexually corrupt wife to her gangster

lover.

In any case, the story is far from over. There are several more twists and turns, all of my own devising, and hopefully the reader will find that they all are in keeping with the tone and style of a vintage gangster/action flick or story. Thanks for listening and thanks for reading.

beware

finish the story and stop fucking around.

I like the story, that said, a couple of annoyances. Too long between installments. Too many characters. Too predictable. The story just isn't that compelling to wait this long and keep my interest. Annoyed I had to reread just to keep track of the plot. We seem to be jumping from one character to another without any rest. OOOO! Didn't see that last cliffhanger coming down the tracks. On the plus side, good tension and finally meeting the wife has kept my interest. Fun to get into the noir feel.

Thanks

Not badly written. Somewhat cliche-ish, however. A group of gangsters jumping our hero in the dark. Supposedly, he can handle himself, but he saw no one? What are they, ninja types, hiding around the corner of the motel? There are some credibility issues here, just for starters, and they interfere with the enjoyment of the story.

Not that Tobe would have to be a Chuck Norris in his prime (or better yet, Superfoot Wallace). But really, everyone has had the drop on him. For a man both educated and dedicated, one who has decided to end this trip and get out of town (and of course, that's when the bad guys show their faces), he's pretty stupid and very inept. So why are readers supposed to like him?

The man goes into someone's turf with no skills to do so, and no idea of what he is doing other than to find Sheila, to speak with her and get closure. The police showed him what happened. They advised him not to mess with people who are "professional" bad guys, people even the police fear. But he does it anyway. And now he is their captive, beaten up and knocked unconscious.

I know, it's just a story, but we need at least a hint of realism, if we are to identify with the hero. He made no preparations against this outcome, took no precautions, and of course, his tails have both conveniently disappeared. Even characters in the movies are not this dumb. Thanks for writing.

if my memory is still working. The old type PI was always getting knocked out and disarmed, I always wondered how any of the made it to the second book. Strange but perfectly in keeping with the model. The strange thing is that it reminds me of a Star Trek episode!

It seems that Mannix came out of retirement to crack this case. Rock on...

and dumb

Starting to get very interesting.

has several choices now. Sheila? Angel? Delia? His third cousin, once removed, on his mother's side?

Excellent writing and story.

"Where in the hell was I when this was going on?" Yes, where have you been, complete looser, boring wimp!!! If you weren't a bit too misogynist, this would have transpired in your story. You should run a story about why these things always happen to these wimps...

I have read numerous works by authors well-established in the Canon of Literature. Few of them would have existed absolute realism was the prerequisite for publication.

For me this work moves rapidly along, cultivating my interest with each paragraph.

I do not quibble about minor points as others have as I seek only to be entertainedand the reality is that I am!

Thank you for taken the time and effort to set your imagination free and thus stimulating mine!

Great story noir. I picture it playing out in black and white. Real Dashiell Hammet material. Well done.

From back in the day when kissing a hooker or eating her pussy wouldn't kill you.

Knows they are after him but does nothing

I keep reading to see how many times he screws up

I thought you were going for serial-style writing, but so far, this is kinda shit. The husband is barely likable at all. He just stumbles from one stupidity to the next.

Seriously, for the last one, please let him be at least a little more rambo than jerry.