All Comments on 'Seeds of Doubt, Harvest of Sorrow Ch. 02'

A better ending than I expected. You managed to have the good guys win.

a wife that tell her personal business to others needs to be fuck over.the hubby is just as bad,taking the dumb whore back.she became another man slut and everytime the hubby fuck her ,she teaching him jerry tricks.learned from fucking jerry her lover,who broke her family up.the story was wrote with the mind of a child.no common sense.

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Instead of working with her husband to determine what was going on with each of the messages, she gets on a high horse and fails to communicate with her husband. She has betrayed her husbands confidence by telling someone else about them without his permission. Yeah I know lots of people do this, but a lot of people speed even tho its against the law to. Last she takes divorce advice from a man she knows little about and then when he suddenly divorced the woman she did know she becomes his sex toy. She may not have been a slut before but she sure took on those shoes in a hurry. Yeah I can agree, help her out of it for the sake of your daughter, then dump her ass and go back to court and get custody changed due to the wives lifetstyle and placing the child at risk. The is an alternative, he could hire her as the resident housekeeper and keep the child at home.

<p>I guess I'm just not as <i>casual</i> as the characters in this story were, and don't see a wife who sleeps with another man because she's lonely, and a husband who is so obsessed with the wife that he doesn't care who's she's sleeping with long as she'll take him back, as the building blocks to make a good happy ending story.</p>

<p>I mean, if that is the case why did the prospect of her cheating on him ever bother him in the first place. Knowing another man was sleeping with her after a rushed divorced really didn't seem to set off any alarm bells. I'm sorry, but this really wasn't a very good ending to the story you started. And I'm really sorry I'm saying that. I really and honestly am.</p>

<p>You went with a popular recipe that I really hate to make a happy ending here: Husband and wife are married and have a storybook happy marriage, husband loses wife somehow (often portrayed by the author as something stupid the husband does. Often in his own mind), wife manages to have sexual and a social life with other men (regardless of how she may feel about said life), but the now (ex)\husband (if they get divorced. In some stories they don't, often the husband(s) just gets banished to some seedy motel during this seperation period) can only sit and slowly pine away for his (ex)\wife while she's off having sex with other men, because lets be honest here no other woman/women could possily want or ever see in him what his wife (or now ex-wife) ever saw in him, but <i>somehow</i> by the end of the story (ex)husband proves his manhood and wins wife back, they get married again, then they get to live <i>"Happy ever after"</i></p>

<p>Why?? What you did was let Jerry get what he really wanted, so in the end he was the one who really won. His goal was to sleep with the wife, he did that. And he'll have those memories long after they are pretending this all never happened and doesn't matter. Not to mention a child that should be scarred by this, but somehow isn't.</p>

<p>You let the wife experience "New and exciting things" (some of which she enjoyed) with a man not her husband, or in this case not the man she really wanted to be married to, while keeping the husband shut up in their old house and only going out to go to work and pickup their daughter, losing weight, never having any social or sexual life, but then at the end, because they ended up together married again, this was considered a happy ending that made the marriage stronger? Huh? I guess equality is a one way street in the majority of the stories here.</p>

<p>About the middle of page two I already knew where you were going with this. And by half of page three I found myself skimming just to get it over with. You have real talent, but you hosed this story up by having them wife sleeping with the man who screwed up their marriage, letting her play such hardball with the husband/exhusband (even though it was on Jerry's advice), letting her sleep with Jerry for so long (for as you put it, because she was lonely), letting the husband just sit and pine away for her even though (as far as he knew at the time) she kept him as far away from them and kept his time with his daughter to the bare minimum allowed by law, the husband, even though he knew that his now ex-wife was sleeping with a new man, never once considered moving on, he stayed in the moment of "I wish I had done it this way", for the entire story</p>

<p>Sorry, the only folks that will go for this are those that want to read about a happy ending at all cost. I like happy ending that either make sense too me to have happened, or ones that everyone stays true to each other regardless of the situation. Not one where the husband sits in a corner jacking off to the memory of his wife, up until the day they are both reunited, and the wife sleeps with every man who seems to want her till the day she decides to take the stupid husband who ever let her go back. Those stories I really hate</p>

-Risq

what these people were reading! Risq, it sounds as if you did

not read the first chapter of this story... And perhaps you did not notice that the sex with Jerry only occured after the divorce with Ben became final. Note that in a previous case there was only two weeks between the divorce and the remarraige. Basically Catherine should have helped her husband look for the weak point and should have realized that while Lucie probably never would have written the letters that she was enabled to do this by her relationship with Catherine. They then could have passed along tainted information to see if a new letter would be produced.

Anyway I feel that LucSmith does not deserve the negative

comments below. In fact, if he had classified the story as

Romance he would never have gotten the bitter remarks...

what these people were reading! Risq, it sounds as if you did

not read the first chapter of this story... And perhaps you did not notice that the sex with Jerry only occured after the divorce with Ben became final. Note that in a previous case there was only two weeks between the divorce and the remarraige. Basically Catherine should have helped her husband look for the weak point and should have realized that while Lucie probably never would have written the letters that she was enabled to do this by her relationship with Catherine. They then could have passed along tainted information to see if a new letter would be produced.

Anyway I feel that LucSmith does not deserve the negative

comments below. In fact, if he had classified the story as

Romance he would never have gotten the bitter remarks...

With parents as stupid as this, their kid is guaranteed to be fucked-up. Sure they were manipulated, but the manipulation was so easy because this couple is so braindead. The reconciliation is slapped together and never should have happened. If any two morons ever deserved each other, it's these two. Sheesh!

The writing was at the level of a 9th grader, the syntax was wrong and the characters were inept. The only person I felt sorry for was the daughter, who happened to be the smartest one of the bunch. Seriously, you don't divorce someone just because you're mad at them.If she knew that she hadn't cheated on him, then it's common sense that someone was trying to break up their marriage and she would have tried to find out who. Bah, I'm not wasting anymore time shredding this poor excuse for a story.

it was rushed, you spent enough time on the rest but failed to convince me with the hurry up job to reconcile.

Nothing but a cleverly disguised Cuckcold story. JERRY got away with it. The drug Bust at the end is meaningless Pap so this sopry doesnt look like a Cuckold story. BUT that IS what this Story is really all about.

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In the end the wife DID Cheat and she cheated Often with a man she didnt really love and she did so for no reason. No really thinks <i> 'well I betetr marry and fuck this man I dont know and dont love and that mu daughter cnat stand..."</i>

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what a complete waste of time

Like I said before with part 1, the story held a lot of promises but, all together, I think you should have taken the time to think it trough more. It leaves many of us readers unsatisfied and even more so to the end. AnonUSA, risq001 and bruce22 have said it all. There should have been more depth in the characters. Especially when she was indeed innocent, she in particular should have valued her marriage more by sitting down together and by looking for explanations. There was really only one possible person who held all the information. And then there was her reaction, no talking, just moving out, restraining order and cutting the ties in a drastic manner. His mind already made up on the 3rd day after showing her the last piece of "evidence" :

he was going to force a confession and than divorce her.

We can discuss it further for a long time. The story could have been much stronger : the rush job and reconcilation or divorce, it makes no difference. A missed chance. Next time better. Keep on writing. G.Belgium

AUTHOR and readers--- Look at the feedback. Isnt it obvious WHY this story fails?

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There is NO explanation as to WHY ben would believe such flimsy evidence sent through the mail.

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There is no explanation as to

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WHY the wife would let Jerry tell her when to see Ben....

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why she would after being accused of cheating decide to actually engage in actions that she was NOT doing when the story began

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WHY would Jerry's advice "you have to divorce him" carry any weight? At this point in the story he has no real influence on the wife.

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Its a shame this could of been a good story. And the end is pathetically weak and rushed. While the Husband bears alot of responsibility for not thinking this through getting upset and taking some time to figure things out is NOT that unreasonable. Her actions are very nuts and unbelieveable

Ouch did this story fall apart in the second chapter. <lr><lr>

First, how in the world did the wife not think about the source of the black panties after the first letter. Obviously someone took them out of her dresser and mailed them to her husband. The options would have been her husband or some outside person. And when later her pubic hair shows up it then should have been doubly clear that someone was trying to break up the marriage. At this point anyone with half a brain should be looking into who is doing it and why.

Instead you have the wife move out and listen to a male "best friend" who it turns out was the source of all the problems and after a quickie divorce she becomes his slut. No thought of her daughter. No trauma over the question of why the marraige died, or who did it. Just move out, divorce without talking and fuck the former best friend (who should have been a clear candidate for source of the letters from day 1, especially when it took him what 5 months to move out on Lucia and start divorce proceedings?)

Good foundation from chapter 1, but this chapter was rushed and the characters wooden and unbelievable as well as far to dumb to be believed.

Its about time the stupid wife got her head on straight and it shure took Ben long enough to finally get his priorities straight in what to do about getting rid of Jerry.

I don't think this series deserves a 00, but Risq and others have correctly pointed out some serious flaws. Ben should have gone on with his life and dated others after the divorce - getting together after months of pining for the ex while she was apparently happy banging away with Jerry destroyed the balance in the relationship. If there were a Ch. 03 (and I hope not), Jerry would probably have an affair to restore that balance, with or without Catherine's knowledge (which of course could add further trauma for this couple). I think the predator nature of Jerry was captured reasonably well.

This story entertained me. I liked it, thank you author.

Planting cocaine and a gun in his car? That's been done in at least a dozen loving wives stories I can think of off the top of my head.

sharing a jail cell with a large black man named Bubba? BUBBA? ugh.

<p>I probably would have put the story in romance as well. In romance no one really cares how the story got to the happy ending, just that it <b><i>is</i></b> a happy ending by the end. Most of the time in this catagory a lot of readers often want to know the <i>"How's and Why's"</i> it is a happy ending. I think the bar is much higher in this catagory</p>

<p>But I did read the original story, and I thought when I read it that someone was trying to break up the marriage. And no where did I <i>elude</i>, in my previous comment, that the author said she cheated on her husband/ex-husband, and no where did I say in my comment that she <b><i>"jumped"</i></b> right into bed as soon the divorce was final. Where did you see that in my comment?</p>

<p>What I did say was that <i>she <b>moved on</b></i> with her life for <i><b>months</i></b> while Ben sat dreaming of what could have been, and waiting for the chance to get her back, instead of trying to see if someone was intrested in him. The story, like alot using this recipe does, turned him into hermit that couldn't function in life if his wife wasn't there with him, yet as always the wife is perfectly capable of being pursued, caught, and sleeping with another man because she was "SOOOO" disireable yet Ben, the now exhusband, appears to be a dead ringer for the character <b><i>quasimodo</i></b>, and by the grace of god and "extreme" good luck he was able to find the only possible person in the world willing to spend time, sleep with, and later marry him, and because she is the only woman in his life willing to do that (even though she has someone new now) he'll <i>die</i> before he walks away from the only woman in the world who could, or would, let him touch her and could ever love him.</p>

<p>She on the other hand was having sex with a new Man "just" a few months after her divorce was final, who "just" divorced her best friend, and let him moved in with her and her small child without really knowing him because she said she was lonely and apparently needed sex as part of the comforting process, and who taught her all kinds of new sex tricks during his stay there. That's all that I was saying. That and all the new sex "tricks" she picked up while they were divorced that now somehow at the end of the story the husband finds the silver lining in (and later eventually happy about) because as he said she is willing to share with him, and that now <b><i>Love</i></b> made it easier to enjoy all the advance level techniques she learned in the art of loving making that he didn't know, while he was setting on the sidelines waiting for her to finish her education in sex ed.</p>

<p>Not to mention that Ben has to re-find his manhood by getting even with Jerry by committing a couple of felonies that he can pin on Jerry, that always never seem to get traced back to him, and set him up either to be killed, or as in this story, put in prison where he'll be raped for tricking them into getting divorced. The only way he could find his manhood was by getting even? Not by proving that other women find him diserable? Yep this should have been in romance.</p>

<p>You might not agree with what I said below, but I still stand by it</p>

-Risq

Not too bad a first effort. Of course Catherine should have realised that Lucie was the source of the secret stalker's information much earlier. Of course Ben should have made efforts to keep in touch with Catherine.

But I was most disappointed in the last 4 paragraphs of the story. Jerry got the worst the author could offer, a hackneyed, overused ending. Also, Ben, and the Police Chief, apparently had no qualms about short-circuiting the law and good sense to set Jerry. Ben's personal integrity seems to have fallen prey to Jerry's machinations as well as his marriage. On another point, I know in my state a convicted felon cannot get a license to sell real estate, and I am sure other states have similar laws. Even so, the story was worth reading to the end, even though vast allowances had to be made. Please keey trying author, you have good ideas and just need to work on your characters. Think about how people really act and not just how they need to act to further your plot. THANKS FOR WRITING!

A man has to do a man's thing and one of those thisgs is to get revenge against the bastard that ruined his life and caused him, his child and wife so much grief. Jerry was an evil SOB and the only right thing to do was for Ben to thrash him within an inch of his life. I am talking about ripping and rendering. Of course Bubba would do great but still it wasn't the revenge that Ben should have gotten.

I see this has not been what I call a great story, but I do see a writer who can write. I only want to say please try and build a little more background on your characters so we see experience there feelings in our minds eye. I encourage you to continue and take a lot of this criticism at half its acknowledgment. Not my most favorite of stories but you did entertain me and I look forward to more stories from you. Thank you for the great amount of effort you put into this. I know it takes a lot to put out a story of this size<P>PT

There seems to be some major flaws in this story. Even if Jerry was successful in obscuring his criminal conviction and incarceration from Luce he still carried that bad habit of abusing her in their relationship. For argument's sake. lets assume Luce didn't confide in Catherine of her abuse at the hands of Jerry and the secrets shared between the women were largely one-way, from Catherine to Luce. Catherine would still have surely noticed evidence of this abuse during her normal interactions with Luce if she was the only person she shared intimate information with besides Ben. Also, why didn't Catherine ever mention Luce's husband Jerry to Ben during the normal course of her marriage in casual conversation, especially since she and Luce was so close and Luce was babysiting their child, Chantal. If we can assume Catherine to be a resonably intelligent person, it is difficult to surmise that she couldn't come to the conclusion early on that her confidences in Luce were being broken. The only way Ben could have cemented his suspicion of Jerry's activities in his home would have been to install micro-video motion activated cameras in his bedroom or have his private investigator dust the master bedroom and bathroom for prints. Without evidence, he is purely speculating.

Conflict: existent ... o.k. Solution: dull, trivial and forseeable end. Awfull plotline: To many changes of perspective - It's a "don't" by writing shortstories. Much effort - nothing gained. Sorry, part one was o.k. but sequel failed.

a big fuckin mess

i d obelieve he should find a woman of his own to learn some tricks from himself ...with what his wife allowed ..really she should find him a cpl of women to fuck ...she should be very open to him doihng what ever he wanted for saving her from that asshole ....i think bubba should share his goodfortune with all his friends in jail also ...when he gets out of prison in 10 years hes going to need an occupation and being a gay fucking prostitute should fit what he did in jail for 10 yrs to perfection....after all what else does he know now ...plus probably by this time his dick has rotted and fallen off anyway from aids or syph

A beautiful job in chapter 1. Great build up of suspence. fine definition of each partners characteristics, but chapter 2 was a disaster . As Nicholls9 said they deserved each other, She is incrediblt naive and cannot see the obvious about her best friend and his letcherous husband and he just leaps to conclusions without ever discussing clues with her. Two braindead people especially the wife, who jumps into marriage while dummy husband is still trying to figure out what happened. Great writing though. I hope you keep on .You appear to be very talented.

60 year old George

after reading some of this author's earlier stories I have to say that this author thinks he is being clever in Hiding what his stories are really about.

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In EYE FOR AN EYE the husband knows the exact Time and date his wife started fucking the other Guy... then lets her fuck the other guy EVERY Sarurday...3 or 4 times for the Next 8 Months... before the BIG confrontation... which occurs ONLY after she announces she is pregnant.

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same sort of shit as this story. This story is NOT a Loving wives story-- its a cuckold story

Good effort, but I hate wimps, and wimp stories.

The rating was for the writing effort not the story itself. First, as a villian, Jerry reminds me of one of those characters in the old Batman TV show (mid-60s). Catherine and Ben are certainly one of the dumbest couples. Ok- Ben suspects his wife of cheating due to three letters. Why not hire a detective after the second letter because regardless whether Catherine is cheating or not someone is trying to destroy his family? Why would her lover blow such a good thing with Catherine by writing Ben? Catherine plays the perfect pathetic victim but even she must have realized who was the only one other person knew about her shaving her cunt. So we have a happy ending where Ben learns to be a better lover thanks to Jerry!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Bottom Line: Catherine's actions had the effect of cutting the balls off Ben, Ben wakes up and stop her from exposing his daughter anymore to a sadist, everone admits they were wrong and voila we have a happy ending. Overall, Catherine did not trust or respect her husband very much. Unfortunately, there are other errors that make this story not credible.

The prose is... rough I suppose. It needs to be polished in several ways. The scene transitions, for example, aren't smooth. The scenes themselves suffer from TMI. Here's an example of what I mean:

<P><I>I got in my car and drove to the Marriott Courtyard hotel where I rented a room for a couple of days. That was three days ago.</I>

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It's nice that the hubby had lodging for a couple of days. Was it important for us to know that he had yet to pay for the third day of his stay there? No. The prose is full of irrelevant non sequiturs like this. It makes for tiresome reading.

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There are some unfortunate mental images tucked away in both chapters, and those always detract from the fiction.

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I'm forced to agree with a previous poster regarding the villain. This guy is right out of a bad Hollywood B movie. He's monotonically evil with evidently no redeeming qualities. He probably kicks the neighborhood dogs, steals little kids's lunch money, and waylays lil ol' ladies for their Social Security checks on his days off. I bet even his mommy didn't like him.

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Give us a break. Weave characters that are realistic, that aren't imitation plastic blow-up dolls.

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The plot line plays out rather slowly, and trudging your way through it is wearying. The storyline should pique your interest, make you want to flip the pages rapidly, desirious to see what happens next. This is called narrative drive. This story has none. Slogging through the muddy fields of this tale is a painful journey that leaves the reader tired and drained, glad for any old conclusion.

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There are a number of rather incredible gaps in the storytelling that require us to suspend disbelief. That damages the quality of the storytelling, and more than once, I almost blew off finishing the concluding chapter. I'll give the author some latitude to tell their story but when repeated dips into the well of the fantastic occur, my bullshit detector goes off with deleterious results.

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Finally, I've never been a big fan of rotating first person points of view. It's poor authorship because if an author wants to include the perspectives of multiple characters in the storytelling, they should use third person omniscient. On this purely technical point alone, I would've graded down. Factor in the other problems in the telling, and you can must award a low score.

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Thank you for your effort.

<p>By writing from various points of view you added nothing to the story and essentially sucked out any shred of suspense. We know EVERYTHING about who sent the letters and why. You withheld nothing. In the end, I did not care if those two ever got together again. The plot was as flat as 3-day old beer.</p>

He should have gotten her back and then taken this filthy whore who threatened to take his daughter away and hang her in a tree and gut her like a deer. He's a wimp, she's a stupid whore, no man would want this moronic cunt back.

Ben has no blame in this affair, except for his ignorance of the female mindfuck and how it is used to gain power over men. Catherine's refusal to fess up about having informed Lucie about the mole, the black panties, and the shaved pussy incident is what caused the situation to occur and gradually escalate. Protecting her obviously fragile self-esteem and friendship with Lucie was more important than preserving her relationship and marriage to Ben. Running from Ben to the bedroom following the confrontation concerning the mole and panties, staying mad at Ben for weeks and then only gradually getting over her anger, moving out of the house without a word as to her and Chantal's whereabouts due to Ben's justifiable anger over the shaved pussy incident, dating Jerry, fucking Jerry despite signs of his asshole behavior, and never making any attempt to talk to Ben in all that time - these are all classic examples of female manipulation.

never born. Oh you were born alright but with out a brain. I'm talking about Luc Smith here...he is the dumb ass husband that is to dumb to live on the same earth with me. I hope to read Luc Smiths Obiturary one day soon/

Jerry really won since he cause the destruction of Catherine and Ben marriage. Not only that he got to fuck Catherine and make Ben into a cockold. The author doesn't address what Jerry did to the marriage and assume they go back having a great marriage before Jerry destroy them as a couple. The Ending is unrealistic that Ben and Catherine got together like nothing happen. sk

I loved it

The first thing I would have done is to try and find out who was trying to destroy my wife and I. NO ...what does Ben, the champion of men everywhere...he confronts catherine and eventually drives her away...then he has the balls ( he really doesn't have any ) he letts bubba do his dirty work for him...Oh to find a man that acts like a man...but you'll never write about him...will you Luic..?

jesus, how stupid could they be? he thins its as much his fault as her and thats retarded. obviously, if she didnt fuck another guy, then she had to tell someone else about her clothes, pubes, etc. and then he takes her back like nothing ever happened? are you retarded?

hey you really do hate men or your just the dumbest person i know.Stop writing please your ideas and solutions are foolish and idiotic.

If you think this story is so bad you should go back and read you,re own comments I can,t believe there are so many stupid men out there,One of you said Jerry had cucked, Ben, youre wrong he didn,t have sex with Catherine until after they had become divorced therefore he was no longer her husband,don,t be so quick to jump, thats what happened in the story, it was more Bens fault than hers, she hadn,t done one thing wrong ,for all of you Criticize this writer,I,m waiting to read the perfect story you,re all going to write,

I enjoyed this story and couldn't stop reading until the end (all in one sitting). Excellent story. From what I have read of your stories, this one is the best, and it's on my best story list for "Loving Wives." The story is in my view original: at least I have not read any comparable story. Keep writing. RAG

Personally I say, don't fly off the handle. Unless your wife has given you a reason to not trust or believe her, then why not believe her. You should be honest and loving for each other and, if situation was reversed, you would want her to believe you. The immediate fear should be that somebody is stalking you and your wife and even has access to both. Get some help.... Good story!

this wife tells her and husband private business to another person.is she crazy or just stupid.then after all shit the hubby saw,she forgot the things she telling the other woman.how old or mature is this writer.

Lucsmith needs some lessons in writing. First the characters are outrageously stupid or else clueless about themselves and life in general. "Loving Wife" authors need to get past the artificial use of spouses "refusing to talk to each other" at every emotionally stressful event. It spoils the story because most of us know that people don't operate that way. There've got to be other ways to carry events beside no talking and running away from problems. The flow of this story was so broken by poor transitions between events and between characters it was hard to make heads or tails of what was happening or who was talking. Writing style was way over stylized in manner of speech. Learn some real conversational writing style please. It was just too hard to accept that a man would become aware of some threat to himself or family then just sit on his thumbs doing nothing.

As it is long. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

if this isn't a story about two retarded people nothing is.

I don't normally condone mean spirited comments from other readers but for the guy who said the characters were a couple of retards, I have to agree. I can't fault the husband for being highly suspicious especially after the third letter with the pubic hair. All either of them had to do was find out who she had told about the shaving. She should have been able to figure out who besides her husband knew about the mole and who could have been in her house to steal her panties. I know this is all fiction which makes it even worse. These two, especially the wife, were so oblivious to common sense I have to wonder at the author who could have used the same plot features and made the characters more believable instead of the impossible dolts they were.

demented, asinine, did this take place on the secret island where the UFO took Elvis and Bigfoot?

Stupid story arc, unbelieveably stupid characterization, weak, weak, weak. The 'dialog' is stilted and dense. No one speaks like these characters. I am guessing you are not a native english speaker, or certainly not familiar with american english idioms. No wilful suspension of disbelief is possible with the outlandish storylines you present. While you may continue to write this drivel, no one will like it...sorry. Practice makes perfect, keep trying but you have a long way to go.

nothing to add

what a waste of time...

Not worthy of a read.

Both main characters are losers!

Can't fully blame the husband (although he is an idiot) and the wife is too stupid and too quick to spread her legs. Should of ended (actually, never started) with them living as friends (but not together). And, oh, by the way, did she get tested for an STD?

and then you had to go to the bathroom or something and wound it up in two paragraphs.

I was horrified by the story because it seemed plausible (people CAN fuck around others this way), but as I said, I blinked and it was over.

Slow start, quick middle, SLAMMED ending. Three

I gave the story 3***s.

I notice that Jerry in the story is very controlling of Catherine but it seems like there should be more to the story. Her daughter was cold to Jerry was there a possible reason beyond her not wanting this other man to replace her father. I mean a man like Jerry I would not put pass as someone who would try something with Chantal.

Also Jerry only got 10 years and that enough punishment even those he getting rape in prison. I mean you eluded to the possible fact that he might have cause the death of his ex husband. Since it in his nature to cause distress. Why not let evidence show he committed the murder and make him spend his life in jail.

this writer was just as bad as Matt Monroe or winterfrog. That stay together or get back together no matter the cost is bullshit. She went to Jerry because she wanted to. Please her new tricks proves it. She did things with Jerry she never did with her husband. Ben was a fool to take her back.

Winterfrog wins the award for most pussy hounds getting their balls kicked. huedogg and DWmoronic win the award for most asinine comments ever posted on this site.

WF rules! All damn pussyhounds get their balls kicked!

Long live WF!

Winterfrog wins the award for most pussy hounds getting their balls kicked. huedogg and DWmoronic win the award for most asinine comments ever posted on this site.

WF rules! All damn pussyhounds get their balls kicked!

Long live WF!

No rationale at all needed for the conclusion.

let the cunt stay with Jerry and hope he whores her out.

its hard to be sympathetic when husband and wife are both retarded.

I can certainly understand the husband being shaken and having justified doubts about his wife's fidelity in this story. After all, from his standpoint the evidence is convincing on the surface. Where the story crashes and burns is the complete stupidity of the wife!

This moronic cow obviously knows she is innocent of cheating. Faced with the "evidence" she would certainly know that it could come from only one source. Only her friend Lucie would know about the mole on her breast, would have access to her underwear drawer, and most damning, is the only one other than her husband to know about her shaving her cunt. There is even the detail about the small patch of hair remaining, which she had only told her friend.

We are then asked to believe that she would not only ignore all these facts, but that she would accept the obvious manipulation of Jerry. The story then has her make the fantastic leap of falling into a relationship with him and damn near marrying him. Of course the long suffering hubby rides in to save the day. Predictably, once dear hubby lays out the nefarious plot the light bulb goes on above her head. Cue up the romantic music and the closing credits.

Once again, in the search for drama and an exciting plot, the reader is asked to stretch his or her imagination well past the breaking point. In the name of all that's holy, this is supposedly a college educated woman! Any sane man would be forced to divorce the bloody cow on the basis that she's just too stupid to live with. A swing and a miss!

Hope Jerry rots in hell with Buba. Nice work Bob. And forthose of you who think this is a stupid story-think about sharing YOUR wife of howmany years like the storieshere write about. I for one thought this was fantastic.

can a story be this should be put up as a showcase for dumb stories i hate myself for reading it and the idiots that favoured it should give theirs heads a shake.

You lost me in this chapter. What, did you get tired of writing? You abruptly ended the story and became very unoriginal. Bubba, black Bubba!? Geez, couldn't you have put more thought into this before you showed your ignorance by insulting another race. By the way, I,m white. Additionally, your characters were stupid! The husband would have been better served by hiring his private eye to find out the truth

about the letters before he ran his wife off, and, the wife should have been able to figure out where the very personal information was coming from. Just saying.

It was good to discover the true and that the family was together again. It ended rather weakly, however, and using Bubba the black guy in prison who liked white asses showed a total lack of class. Could have been a classic but too many flaws prevented it from happening. Still a good read.

I printed this out just for the purpose of pissing on it and throwing it away. Die in a fire.

Once again nothing is her(wife's) fault, oh god what is with this shit he screws up he finds the solution ,and she spreads her legs for anyone, "oh! you mean the man i just met and am now fucking and am gonna marry is bad?". She brings nothing to the story or the marriage except being a breeder

Here is why a man who cheats with a married woman, whether he is married or single, MUST be destroyed. You pick the way he is destroy but make no mistake, absolute destruction of his life is essential.

Do what ever is needed to the wife, reconciliation or divorce, it makes no difference, but the man must be destroyed.

Just two sorrow people, with her more extreme than him. Her spreading her legs for Jerry makes her more culpable. Best ending would for her to marry Jerry (then she will get her just reward) and him moving on with her life.

These two people were the weakest minded people I have ever read about. They were manipulated so easily into ending their marriage. I can see why the husband was suspicious of his wife. Honestly, I would have been suspicious also. But I would try to find a way to verify. If she had really cheated in the past two weeks (when he got the pubic hair in the mail) then he had a reasonable time frame to get better confirmation. If he was willing to divorce her over some letters that pretty much amounted to lockeroom talk and some perverted trophies, then he didn't really have a lot of trust in her to begin with.

Then we get to her. She had to be the DUMBEST woman I have read about on this website. She was so easily manipulated. She takes this guys advice with no thought whatsoever, even if she feels the complete opposite. Then, she goes through this whole thing of not wanting to marry him but going through with it anyway because she feels she has no choice. She doesn't even think about calling off the wedding until her ex husband told her to. Once again, she needed very little evidence. My pet peeve is a stupid female, so I could not see me trying to rekindle this marriage.

Besides the level of stupidity of the main characters, I liked this story. Very well written.

After two stories read I have to ask, is that all you know how write?

this is just not remotely possible for a really loving couple.

why cant his cellie be named lou?

She moved too quickly and should not be taken back so easily…!!

IF EVER…!!

I don't mind some of these rather unlikely scenarios now and again. But for both parties to be so positively obtuse and shit their marriage away is just something I can't swallow. Like another commenter, I started to skim after a while. Glad I missed the part about all the kinky tricks that she learned from Uncle Jerry. Why the hell couldn't they have turned it around before the bastard dumped three quarts of cum in her tail?

At first with a couple of your stories I was getting a Winterfrog vibe, which is way more my style. I don't mind some of the idiosyncrasy in the language. But your male protagonists are getting soft, whiney, and cuckish, which I despise. In another story your guy is devastated to see his wife having great sex with another man, but he is getting a hard on, too. Sorry, Luc, I just won't hang for that.

Letters, they never once thought to look for other explanations?

Such as, did either of them share intimate information with a third party?

They deserved thier rewards.

Like to see the movie version.

thanks for the offering.

A very good trad on a subject that has been covered many times by authors. So trying to get a new fresh approach is difficult.

Still the story posed the obvious questions, Letters, did yhe husband and wife never once thought to look for other explanations, who else could have been in the house, install cctv by the husband amd tell mo one including his wife.

Who else did the couple share any intimate information with to a third party?

Both husband and are a little stupid not to work out who did the deed !

Still a good read.

I would have like to read what sexual acts yhe wife did post lover with her husband thar he had difficulty with dealing with and how they over vome these issues

But I prefer stories that are at least, plausible. This one was just about so far

outside of the real world I live in it should probably have been posted in the

science fiction section. But as I said, it was "interesting".

Man you have ahuge imagination but your characters are not real.

His wife left him with his daughter and he doesn't go to see a lwyer inmediately? He doesn't go to the police?

Then when the whole plot is revealed they just come back together like that? The sister confess her evil plan just beause thw wife called her?

Men! As a writer you have to get into the skin of the character, not make them act like stupid puppets for the purporse of your story.

And these are just some of many many errors that you made in this whole thing.

Sorry, well written, interesting to read but it could be sci fi to me. Not believable at all.

But I did thoroughly enjoy the ending. And even convicts take a dim view of men who beat on women. Quite often such men serve other prisoners as women. Sometimes even their teeth are knocked out to facilitate oral sex and to form a kind of facial vagina. Jerry gets 10 years of this lifestyle. Courts do not mete out justice; but prisoners do.

Catherine is too gullible and should have gotten a disease.

Should of stayed divorced. They're to stupid to stay married.

usual demented shit from another WIMPY FAG "author".

You get letter, you call police have him arrested. FUCKING BULL SHIT STORY WITH PLOT HOLES THE SIZE OF A TRUCK. WIFE CAN'T THINK OF WHO SHE TOLD ABOUT SHAVING, REALLY, SHE'S A FUCKING DROOLING MORON IS SHE? SHE READS THE FUCKING LETTERS SO SHE KNOWS THAT SOMEONE IS INTERFERING, BUT NO, SHE HATES HUSBAND BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH IT IS A COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC CHOICE, IT FITS INTO THE FUCKING LAZY AUTHOR'S STORY LINE. lucsmith YOU'RE AN ASS!

It’s interesting to see that I’m not the only one who didn’t like this story. Too many others have pointed out the flaws in it so I won’t bother. D

the winds of fate determine and change mortal mans base desire, TK U MLJ LV NV

In first chapter the suthor defines Catherine's character as intelligent, supremely devoted wife and mother completely filled with love for husband and daughter.

I can understand her being extremely hurt that after pubic hair letter husband believed she was cheating.

However, for her defined character to suddenly become so submissive and accepting of Jerry's suggestions without deep thoughtful analysis of her own, completely re-defines her character.

She certainly would not forget all she told her bet friend about her life, her sex life. Perhaps mole slips her mind but she certainly would remember telling bff details of shaving. She would have questioned friend if she told her husband Jerry.

Her loyalty to family was lmost equalled by loyalty to friend. NO WAY SHE WOULD HAVE HAD SEX with bbf's ex so soon after bff left.

But huge hole is restraining order served on Ben. What are the grounds. She has none. The law requires more than her being hurt and upset. No way would she have sex with Jerry with daughter in house before marriage. She would have done everything to keep daughter happy and would never get involved with ''worm'' her daughter could not stand.

Even with total suspension of disbelief on readers' parts no way Ben gets over Catherine not only quickly becoming sexual with Jerry. But her new tricks learned in Jerry's bed would have repulsed him. He could never get those images out of his mind especially since author hints at the perverse nature of her new sexual behavior. Each new trick would be kick to his balls.

You are talented at string words together but your content has become abhorent. Your female characters are simpering idiots so easily seduced and male leads are larva stage worms.

At same time your predators are written as if they could seduce God!

One sentence fucked up a great story! Catherine learnt a few tricks in the at of fucking while living with Jerry!? Right there she became a Slut!? Prior to that she was a good Woman ? But not anymore You made her a 2nd hand used Slut?.

What others think that is no concern of mine! Thanks for sharing this Good but not Good Story with us! ★ ★ ★ ☆ WOOF!

But her actions were stereotypical fool.

An interesting plot but the writing left a lot to be desired. It was all a little too one dimensional, there was no real effort to provide an insight into the personalities and the motivations of the main characters, merely describing how events unfold isn't quite enough to grip your readers and make them care about what happens to the people involved. Decent try but not quite there.

LA

But your endings are always rushed and need the same effort. Overall this is a very good story. 5

I thought the whole premise of the story was ridiculous. Jerrys plan was so convoluted that only a total fool would fall for it. Of course Ben and Catherine appeared to be pretty damned foolish, but see, even they weren’t that damned stupid. No, this one was just too long of a reach.

Budda and the fix was in.

I couldn't put my dick anywhere near her after scum bag was there. She loved her husband SOOO much but gets divorced and has sex so fast with what was her friends "ex". Slut.

I'm sure this is the first time I really read this two part story. After reading part 2 and then the comments I realized that everyone missed the most important part of part2.

One Friday evening when I went to Catherine's house to pick my daughter I noticed a blue Honda parked behind Catherine's SUV in the driveway. After Chantal got out of the house and was sitting in my car, I asked her about the black car.

Luc, if you can't keep the color of the car the same in the same paragraph how are we to believe anything else. If Jerry was as violent as you wrote him he would have been all over Ben long before the end.