Sex & Candy Ch. 06byvelvetpie©
Two years sped by and with time, the pain subsided and became a dull throb that only ached when I looked at the pictures of my parents. I tried not to dwell on it and instead, made my chosen profession my focus. My world became gum paste, fondant and ganache and I threw myself in with both feet.
Aunt Adelle tried to talk to me but I didn't want to talk. I had succeeded in locking those emotions away and I certainly didn't want to dredge them back up again. Daddy called three or four times a day but I let the answering machine pick it up. He even came by but luckily I saw his car with Amy sitting inside and made myself scarce until he'd gone.
When I graduated, I didn't return home to help Daddy run the business. I decided to take Mom's money and invest in my own business. Patisserie Loryn took nearly nine months to get started from construction to grand opening and I was very excited when the first night left me with no stock. Every truffle, every petit four and every tart flew off the shelves and I found myself with orders for more. I locked the front door and with the help of my assistant, Helene, made another day's worth of goodies. We ended up leaving the shop at two in the morning and I headed back to my apartment for some much needed rest.
I was surprised to find my father waiting for me, sitting on the stoop with a huge box of chocolates on his lap. As I got closer, I noticed that the chocolates had come from my shop. "Daddy, what are you doing here?"
"I came to attend the grand opening of my daughter's pastry shop," He took a bite of a mint fudge square and closed his eyes in rapture. "But I really came to apologize to my lover."
The words my lover made my heart leap but no matter how much I still wanted him, I reminded myself that he'd hurt me and hurt me badly. "I'm not your lover, Daddy." I moved past him, opening the front door and stepping inside. It was very late and I was exhausted. I definitely wasn't in the mood to argue with him.
"No, but you should be."
I dropped my purse and keys on the side table, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. "Did Amy leave you? Is that why you're having this sudden epiphany?"
"It isn't a sudden epiphany, Loryn. It's something I've known for a long time." He set the box on the table and took a seat on the parlor chair. "Since before your mother died."
I was confused. I took the other chair, looking across at him. "I don't understand."
"I've always loved you, Loryn. Loved you as my daughter when you were little and secretly loved you as a lover." He met my eyes for a moment, then grabbed the chocolate box, fished out a chocolate-covered brazil nut and popped it into his mouth, chewing mechanically. "Joanie knew it. She watched us always so close together and she knew it."
"But she never said anything to me."
"Loryn, Joanie was frigid. We never had sex more than a few times but I could never bring myself to cheat on her. She was my best friend, Loryn, I just couldn't." My mind flew, thinking about how terribly lonely he must have been. "I spent all my time with you and one day, I can't tell you when, my feelings just changed. You went from being my little girl to being a beautiful, sexual young woman in my eyes. I told myself that working beside you every day was enough but when you kissed me, it all came apart." His eyes met mine, shining with unshed tears. "Loryn, besides the day you came onto this earth, making love with you was the greatest thing that ever happened to me."
Tears came to my eyes and I felt the walls I built around my heart crumbling. My strength left me and I just covered my face with my hands, swallowing my sobs. I heard the chair creak and felt his hands on my knees as he knelt at my feet.
"But I convinced myself that it was wrong, that I was wrong to deny you the possibility of a life with a husband who could be your partner, with children. I could never give you that."
"Why not?" I lowered my hands, wiping my cheeks. "Do you know how proud I would be to have our child? To carry a piece of you inside me?" I touched his wet cheeks with my fingertips, taking a deep breath. "So what happened with Amy?"
"She got mad at me. I couldn't sleep with her. I couldn't kiss her. She just wasn't you. All I could think about was being with you." He reached up, cupping my face in his large, warm hands and gazing into my eyes. "I came to apologize, to tell you that I'm not afraid any more and that I don't think our being together is wrong. I want to be with you. I want to make love to you and wake up every morning with your sweet face next to mine." His silvery eyes bored into mine, pleading. "Please, baby girl. Will you accept my apology?"
I swallowed, my voice thick with sadness. "No, Daddy, I won't."