by orie
This final chapter felt rushed, especially after all the buildup that's gone into the previous entries of this series. And it didn't help that the main obstacle keeping Mac and Miriam apart initially, her transgender husband with cancer, seemed contrived and poorly thought out, as well as offensive to actual transgender people. There also seemed to be a lot of romantic avenues that were left unexplored, such as the other young women Mac encountered at the sex education program. Better story planning and fewer extraneous side characters would improve future stories greatly.
The last publication of the series was not as well written as the first five. I was disappointed,
I was a little disappointed that this final chapter was written in the third person after all of the others were written in the first person--which I prefer. Up to now, it was a well-written series. Despite seeming a little contrived, this chapter provided an relatively satisfactory conclusion to the tale. Most of the other Literotica authors would love to write something as well as this chapter but, after having read the preceeding chapters, this one pales by comparison. It could have benefited from a little extra effort. Overall, though, a wonderful series. I look forward to reading more from you.
Jesus Christ! Can't anybody do anything other than engage in anonymous bitching around here! If you're going to complain, have enough balls to put your name on it! Its an epilogue. Its not supposed to be anything fancy, merely tie up the loose ends-which it does. As a whole, I applaud the effort. Is it exactly the tale I would have told? Of course not. But I'm not the author. Is it outstanding? Yes it is.
I admit that this isn't what I was expecting. It felt a bit... anticlimactic. But it's a small complaint for such a fantastic series of stories. As a whole? Very well done.
Great series of stories . The irony is in how short the final chapter was . Perfect .
Genius .
Sometimes a little bit is just enough - this is one of those times.
"Sexy."
Yes, that it is - just perfect. Well-played.
Well done, it's a great end to an epic series, sums it all up in one word! Great story to read on valentines day! :)
Very happy
Thoroughly enjoyed the whole series...the way you wrote it...the characters...everything! Thanks!
Gawd'l'mighty there are some whingy whiners about aren't there?
I have just had a wonderful day reading this massive work and was rapt in every bit.
I've read a few stories on this site over the past year; this is by far the best one of the lot. Thank you for writing it.
Just finished reading the entire series. I thoroughly enjoyed the style of your writing and the well thought out characters. Now I must read more of your submitals. Thanks for writing this!
These 6 chapters are among the best on literotica. I love how the story evolves, twists and tangles. I agree with some that the ending to your stories are a bit abrupt and could explore deeper or complete the circle to some open story lines.
(page 2 of chapter 3) The part where Dede asks Mac about Mandy, his ex-wife screwing other men, does not do justice to all the other sensitive parts of the story. The plot lays wide open to explain the emotions behind Mac's leaving wall street, travelling and opening up his garage.
Other than that, there are some real masterpieces in here and I really enjoyed reading it.
The series has been excellent but this last chapter feels rushed as if the writer couldn't wait to finish it. I expected more build up to the final scene rather than just falling straight into bed, some degree of finding each other rather than just wham bam we're done.
it really is one of the best love stories on this site...aw hell on the web. I can say that because I've been on the web since it went public and I read...voraciously.
Thanks for your time and talent - wan braw donner tae !!
thank you for such a beautiful love story. hope you will write another. you are very , very good at it. thank you again.
Though a long series.Never lost my attention.Keep up the great work
This story kept me engrossed, a happy ending is always nice to see. Especially with the turmoil you so expertly weaved into the chapters of this story.
A fantastic read.
Not much to add, that really was the best I've read on here.
Great story, great characters, great ending, from a great author.
Just a perfect story.
Brilliant !
I am glad that I am reading your work again.
I identify with this protagonist.
Your eroticism takes the high road and I enjoy it very much.
Please continue to write, and I will continue to read your work.
RJ
This is such a great story that it would be interesting even with only a minimal sex. Great idea, great writing style, interesting characters.
beautiful characters, sensual, erotic, emotional, romantic.. and a mystery to boot. it has it all... was compelled to read and read and read and ignore my novel until it was done. Thank you
Was waiting for it to happen. Imagining she's waiting and it'll happen. Just won't be able to see it come to fruition. All that buildup and then that ending. Everything else was good. Everything involving Jennifer actually was great.
I really enjoyed the story from start to finish. The character development was beautifully done and masterfully fleshed out. If there were any regrets it's that I wish the ruthann decision has been different and that the epilogue was more expanded because will all the build up and obvious path that was gonna be taken i suppose one page seemed rushed and it warranted more but that's just my opinion. Overall It was a wonderful read and a story I'll come back to again. Thank You!
Really enjoyed the story. Character development was great. Even got a little tear towards the end. Very well done. More?
A superbly well written series that had all the mysteries that could happen and also that raw passion! Sorry it ended, but so well! Your style is so complete and just goads the reader to savor each chapter and not quit till the end - THANK YOU
The last chapter was a little short(1 page), but it was good. A little more expansion of the closure of Mac with the group of friends w/benefits and without/benefits. Jen could be left out as that closed in prior chapter.
Maybe another part of epilogue with a flashback dialogue between Mac & Mim a month down the road from their reunion. Only a thought as the last left me hanging a bit with questions.
Definetely the best story I have read in this web, very well structured and told.
I only wish I knew a little more of Chrissy and Ruthann in this last couple chapters, but I really liked it.
I forgot to login. What I meant was a beautiful ending to a beautiful story, from sparkle8
I love this series. BUT- I have to admit, I kept hoping that Mac would get it on with Ruthann, with Sam, and with Chrissy. Nonetheless, wonderful plot.
Thanks for the series. Enjoyed it. Better than most of the nonsense on Literotica. I realize it's escapism but have to admit I did LOL at times. Should be inline for the next 007 ! Big cock, erection for 8 hours & manages to bed & satisfy virtually every women he meets, can afford to ship a car to the U.K. & take as many vacations as he wants.
Just one sour note: please don't fall into the trap of making every CD mentally ill. It's a bit of a worn out cliche. Still want to read your other stories though. Thanks.
Erotic story, very sexy - you're a good writer.
I don't know why Mim couldn't tell him she was married. Why the big secret? I also don't understand why he passed on Ruthann, told Dede they wouldn't be doing it anymore, skipped Sam and Crystal, but then crawled into bed with crusty Jennifer and crew. Doesn't make sense to me.
Anyhow, I enjoyed the story. Thanks for writing and posting. I'll be reading some of your others now.
I felt this last story brought you back to form after a poor episode 5. Will look fprward to reading more of your stories. A.F.C.Somerset
I sat absorbed in this story for hours and not a one of them wasted. It's one of the best I've ever read, and thought it should be in the Romance category for a bit (until he started in with actually going forth with Ruthann. As someone else commented, I kind of wished he'd gone through with that too.)
I did feel like the story careened a bit in Ch. 5 and thankfully Sam was there to slap some sense into him.
The true heartbreak came when I read the last chapter and felt it had been done as an easy slow-ball over the plate, as it were. It was the ending I'd hoped for, but much too fast and too easy. I even thought the Jag was the perfect segue but 'they met, fucked and lived happily ever after' in a single page was hardly what I expected. Still got 5* on ever chapter though and I can't wait to read more or your work.
I know I am late to the feast but just came across this series.
It took two days to read and I enjoyed using that time so well.
This was a great book and some powerful writing that pulled the reader in.
The sex was well written but not over the top.
I enjoyed the idea of Mac just getting his freak on with the women and understand he could easily go like that but Sam saved him again.
The last chapter was exactly the length it had to be to do what needed to be done
Time to go read some more of your work. Thank you.
Let’s see if I got this correct. Mac has a business he loves. He lives in a town where women throw themselves at him. He could easily have sex with Jennifer and her sister Shelly, Caroline, Crystal and Dede anytime he wants. He could also have sex with two virgins, Ruthann and Chrissy if he wanted. When he is not screwing someone he could prance around naked enjoying being groped by Jocelyn and cousin Sam. He gives all this up and goes to Scotland to be with cocktease Mim not knowing if she really wants him. Unbelievable!
Porn logic, my friend. Porn logic. And quite hot porn logic at that.
Personally I like it when only the males are totally naked in front of as many women and girls as possible and while all the females can see their cocks and balls complete with hardons the males know they will never see anything personal exposed on the women even though they can see everything the males have. I went to many CFNM events where we males were naked for hours and lived it when a male told a woman she was showing too much clevage all the while she was looking at his hard prick and nuts.
I'm normally not a fan of a love story, but I thoroughly enjoyed the entire story. Mac is one lucky SOB!!
I have never wanted to skip ahead and read the end of a story as much as with this one, but I found I couldn't miss all the good parts in the middle. As an author and editor, I can say that this is one of the best stories I have ever read. You made me long for the happy ending you gave us. Well done!
I’ve enjoyed many of erotic stories at this site, and this is one the absolute best written.
The best
that I've read on this site. I'll be looking at your other works.
Thank you.
I find that the comments by TWeston has captured the best part of my own feelings and opinion of this wonderful story of love, its loss, and its return. Thank you.
*****, as if there were any question. A very nice ending to a very fine story. May Mac and Mim be blessed in Literotica World.
Damn - I've finished it.........
Don't you just hate getting to the end of a great story ?
Well worth more than 5 Stars !
Rapier
Thank you! That was a great read. Beautiful pace kept me wanting to savour every moment.
Chapters 1 and 5 can't be beat. The middle could have been much shorter. Very well written.
Didn't know where this was originally going however it become a wonderful story worth reading again.
What another great story. I can't begin to explain all the feelings that were being expressed in this story. This story went from one end to the other in emotional sex. Love, loss, temptation and personal conflict on his pathway to his love of his life. 5 plus stars.