All Comments on 'Sex Out of this World Ch. 01-02'

I like the concept and I'm interested in seeing where you go with it, but there are a LOT of grammar errors in this work.

I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs.

The story line has promise but there is a definite need for proofreading and editorship. Tenses are inconsistent as is the perspective (first person, second person, third person) . The sex scenes need to be lengthened and more detailed to draw the reader in.