by mr. grey
This did not make any sense!!! No direction or aim, get it together for the next time.
The story does have alot of holes in it but I'm sure if you continue you'll be able to patch it up. I'm sure after you get thru the son you can close the gap for everyone. You have a good outline all you need now is explain what's realy going on, whether it has some to do with the rock in the beginning or the house. But I really do hope you continue this story.
'Praise his lovemaking skills'? Buhahaha! Shes riding his dick and he's pinching her nipple, some skill, lol.
This stuff is funny as hell :)