All Comments on 'Shannon The Real Estate Slut Ch. 01'

He didn't even ask for a paternity test to make sure the kids (any of them!) were his?

I this day and age that is absolute bullshit, and makes your plot completely unbelievable.

Otherwise, not a bad effort for this genre.

What Shannon didn't realise was that Bob had secretly had a vasectomy a year earlier. He knew that she could not be pregnant by him. He counter sued her and won everything, as he could prove that she had become pregnant by another man. The judge agreed that she was unsuitable as a mother to the two children and awarded custody to thier loving father. Shannon died a couple of years later of AIDS from her encounter with Allen.

There is no way that this chick would have gotten away with this. A paternity test would have been demanded before any divorce settlement were signed. How do people come up with such mean-spirited stories anyway?

she caught her husband cheating on her. So she cheats back quid pro quo. Now she goes for a divorce and he knows he had been cheating however he doesn't know she has been doing the same thing.

Most guys think that their wives are as pure as the driven snow, so when she comes up pregnant, it is no big surprise.

Now she got the kids and child support, an abortion so no new kid to raise. The only inequity is that the husband had to pay for the abortion.

It is interesting that the only one in this marriage that is supposed to die from Aids is the wife. The husband is immune to all STD's only the wife gets them. Yeah right.

First off it is only a story. The double standard is still in effect in most countries. Guys have to prove their manlyness by boffing every available female; however the wife must stay home barefoot and pregnant.

I have yet to see any comments when the husband screws around about him coming home with STD's or HIV. They never become drug addicts or hookers. They never visit glory holes etc. only cheating wives do that. If the husband cheats it is okay, but kill the wife when she does. Especially if we can get her hooking on a street corner or in a mexican brothel.

This is just a story about getting even and maybe a little extra. Live with it. The story itself needs an editor to clean up some of the grammer, otherwise it read very well.

George

An epilogue implies that the story is over; you don't put epilogues at the end of chapters.

Are the comments correct, that Bob will do the math and figure out he's not the father?

I find the previous comments sad. This is erotica ... not a great American novel. The fact that you noticed all of these little insignificant things really makes me wonder what you are doing on this website in the first place. I, personally, was so busy with my vibrator while reading this, I can barely recall the characters names. Stop dwelling on the little things. It was hot, it was passionate, it was good and it got me off. It accomplished all it should!

The author of the last comment is right, in the sense that any story on this site that has a decent enough sex scene to get you excited qualifies as erotica. But there are so many better stories out there with hot sex scenes why praise this sketch of a story?

I do give credit to the author for trying to be creative in his reasoning for the required sex. I really don't understand why readers respond so violently to infidelity, especially in such an absurd story.

I actually think that if the writer spent the time to rewrite the story and add more depth (maybe a little dialogue, saying she talks dirty isn't as effective as having her talk dirty) it could turn out to be a good tale. The main character definitely has potential. It kind of reads like a summary (and the other comment was right about an epilogue being completely out of place in the first chapter). Its reminder of why you should really take a little time to edit your story.

A couple last petty things never use the comparsion of pencil eraserheads to nipples again. And in no way is bowels an arousing way to describe the parts involved in anal sex.

What garbage.

If she got the whole thing, she can't trow it in the ex's face for further gratuitious humiliation (or attempt)? And why would her ex readiliy agree if she was knocked up and he cheated, both are flawed.

Nice story and a good lead in to another adventure with Allen

The only reason a pregnant ex-wife gets more money in a divorce is for the upkeep of an additional child. Get rid of the pregnancy, and she loses the extra money. It's that simple; and it's that fact that makes this story - stupid as hell!!

Husband.might have been an ass, but Shannon is a willful, cheating, lying whore. Even had the baby aborted. What a bitch.

This was obviously written by a dude, and probably one without much experience. "Potent seed", indeed. Apart from all the stupid in the sex scenes (and there's so much there), I'm still kind of stuck on how bad a realtor she is. If she made $4500 on a house sale, she either got way below the usual 3% commission or the house was only worth $150k, which hardly would be upscale on any market. (She also sold the guy a house with a table-height island, which isn't so much a feature as something you'll need to fix ASAP. Why not just make it a friggin table?)

Decent story but the underlying premise of getting knocked up by another is just wrong and objectionable.