Shattered Dreams

She settled into the passenger seat and forced herself not to react as James shut her door for her. Janey watched as he walked around the front of the car and got in the drivers side.

James reached for his mobile phone in his shirt pocket but then remembered that it was at his parents' house on the charger. He glanced across at his sister to see her sitting stiffly with her hands clasped in her lap looking down at them.

"You sure you don't want to go to the hospital to get them bruises looked at first?" James asked.

"I just want to go home." Janey said sounding like a scared child.

"Home it is then." James agreed and started the car. His heart was still racing and he found it hard not to speed as he turned the car towards his parent's house. As he got nearer to the turn off to the house he glanced towards Janey and noticed her looking out the window with tear filled eyes and a heart wrenchingly lost look on her face.

He guided the car onto the laneway that lead past the entry way to the house and turned into the driveway. A faint sound came from Janey and he glanced across at her but she was sitting forward with her eyes glued to the house.

James parked the car just outside the front garden gate and honked the horn several times before turning the motor off. Janey was already scrambling from the car and hurrying around the front of the car as the screen door opened and their parents stepped onto the front veranda. Jim stepped forward at the sight of his youngest daughter and Janey stopped as she eyed him uncertainly then looked past him at her mother.

Never in all the time they had raised Janey could Jim remember his child being afraid of him but he saw the fear in her eyes for the slightest moment before she looked at her mother.

"Janey! My Janey!" Marina cried then rushed forward.

Janey almost flew to her mother her steps were that light, she hesitated a moment as her mother cupped her face in gentle hands and saw more than just the bruises and shadows in her eyes.

Marina pulled her daughter close and Janey buried her face in the crook of her mother's neck, Marina began patting her daughter on the back as one would an upset baby.

"It doesn't matter what happened Janey, what you had to do. You're our daughter and we love you. We will never stop loving you no matter what." Marina said in a strong voice.

Janey started crying softly and after several minutes she sniffed loudly.

"Oh Mama, I wanted to come home. I really did!" Janey said softly. "I didn't run away. Really!" Janey said and pulled back to look at her mother desperate to be believed.

"None of us believed you ran away. Not for a second!" Marina said indignantly as she smoothed the damp hair back off her daughters face.

"Let's go inside." Jim said huskily from where he stood watching his wife and youngest daughter.

Marina wrapped her arm around Janey's waist and led her daughter into the kitchen.

The rest of the family followed and settled around the table as Janey sat down.

"Janey, you need to go to the police and make a statement about what happened." Robby said tightly.

Already he recognised several common signs of sexual abuse in his sister. The way she avoided direct eye contact with males, how she wouldn't look anyone in the face unless physically forced to. Even as he spoke she was rocking backwards and forwards in the chair she sat on ever so slightly.

"I just want to stay here! I don't want to talk about nothing! I don't want to do it!" Janey denied.

Robby spotted the bruising around her wrists as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms as if to warm herself. He reached out and grabbed both her arms even though she recoiled from his touch and he looked at the marks. Clear signs she had been tied up recently.

"You can't let him get away with it!" Robby exploded.

Janey rocketed out of the chair and backed away from the table warily.

Her family was shocked to see the way she behaved. Janey had always been the wild and carefree child never backing down from a challenge, fearless and courageous.

"I don't wanta talk about it! I don't wanta talk about it!" Janey said panicked then fled for her room upstairs.

Marina watched her daughter go completely shocked.

"Janey needs medical attention and then she needs to talk to the police. After that she will probably need a lot of counselling so she can cope with what has happened." Robby said forcefully as he looked at his parents.

"Oh God." Jim said as the enormity of what had occurred finally hit him.

"Janey shall get everything she needs." Marina said firmly.

Imaging the worst had been hard on her but now she was fairly certain she knew what had befallen her child she knew she could cope and help Janey cope.

"I shouldn't have left her to walk to the campervan alone!" Caro said nearly in tears.

"It happened, it's in the past." Marina said with a compassionate glance at her oldest daughter.

"All we can do is be here for Janey when she reaches out for us." James said.

Marina looked at her oldest son, James had always made time for his baby sister event though nearly fifteen years separated them in age. As a youngster Janey had always toddled around after James, interested in the same sports and activities even then.

"And let her know that we don't think any less of her as a person due to what happened." Marina said calmly.

Janey sat cross-legged on the trolley in an examination room at the hospital. Her mother had followed her to her room and when she had calmed down Marina had gently talked her into going to the hospital and getting checked out for her own good.

In an otherwise empty waiting room James and Marina were talking with the female doctor who had examined Janey and a therapist who had sat with Janey during the examination.

"How about we take a seat?" Doctor Kate Michaels asked.

Marina and Jim settled themselves side by side on a couch and watched as the doctor and therapist sat down in individual chairs.

"As I am sure you know your daughter has under went a very harrowing ordeal and she has given me permission to inform you of the results of my examination. There is evidence that she has been raped repeatedly and bruising to indicate she has also been beaten. I have done an STD test and blood work to check her health. And I would have done a rape kit but she had had enough of being examined and wished to be left alone. I removed a contraceptive implant at her request. She has a fractured cheekbone and is suffering from malnutrition; she is seriously under weight." Dr Michaels said.

"Janey will be alright won't she?" Jim asked.

"As long as the STD screen and blood work comes back clear she should be physically fine but emotionally and mentally only time will tell how well she copes with her ordeal."

"The tests that you've done will they help to identify the man who done this to Janey?" Jim asked.

"Your daughter indicated that she was raped by several different men over the period of time she was away. She has no wish to talk to police or have a rape kit done, she just wants to forget what happened." Tracey Briggs the therapist told them.

"Maybe I can explain how important it is to have these people charged." Marina said.

"Janey is in a very fragile mental state at the moment. I wouldn't advise any pressure on her. I believe she will need a lot of therapy to be able to deal with what has happened to her." Tracey said.

"Well can we take her home? Just take her home and love her?" Marina asked.

"That would be the best medicine." Tracey nodded with a smile.

Jim and Marina got to their feet and followed Tracey to the examination room where Janey sat cross-legged on the trolley, her arms wrapped around her ribs as she rocked back and forth slightly.

Janey glanced at them as they walked in then looked away quickly. Marina walked straight to the side of the trolley and took Janey's hand.

"We love you no matter what." Marina said firmly.

Janey pulled her hand away from her mother and tucked it under her arm as she hunched her shoulders.

"Okay, lets go home. I don't know about anyone else but I am famished!" Marina said as she refused to let herself feel hurt over her daughter's rejection of her offer of comfort.

Janey slipped her feet over the edge of the bed and stood up, she picked up the jacket she had placed on a chair and glanced at her parents without a word.

"You have my phone number if you wish to talk to me Janey." Tracey said.

Janey glanced at Tracey but made no response.

Jim opened the door and Janey was quick to leave the room and head for the front entrance of the hospital. Outside she stopped and waited for her parents to catch up with her before heading towards the family car. She stood beside the car as she watched the traffic on the road beside the hospital; suddenly exhausted she yawned and turned to look where her parents were.

"Can we get something to eat on the way home? I'm really really tired." Janey said and yawned once again.

"How does fish and chips sound?" Jim asked.

"Can I have battered fish please? I like battered fish best." Janey said hopefully.

"I remember." Jim said with a smile as he saw the animation on his daughter's face. "And do you want lemon to go on your fish?"

"Have you ever tried vinegar on fish and chips?" Janey asked remembering the fish and chips Hawk had given her one time.

"We can try that." Marina said watching her daughter.

Janey sighed as she slipped into the back seat of the vehicle and put her seat belt on.

Jim climbed behind the wheel and when he and Marina where in their seats wearing their seat belts he started the car and headed for the fish and chip shop the family preferred.

* * * * *

James looked at Janey where she lay asleep on the lounge; she was stretched out on her stomach with one arm and leg hanging off the side of the lounge. Thinking she must be uncomfortable sleeping like that he walked over to her quietly, reached down and went to put her arm back on the lounge.

Janey woke the instant James took hold of her arm. Not realising where she was or who had touched her she gave a soft startled cry and jerked her arm away from the light grasp as she rolled away from the presence she sensed.

"It's alright Janey. It's me, James." He told her as she looked at him dazed.

Janey looked at him for a few moments then sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"I didn't mean to wake you up. You looked uncomfortable and I was only trying to make you more comfortable." James told her.

"Where is everyone?" Janey asked.

"Dad is cleaning the barbie, Mum is watering her herb garden, Caro is at work and Robbie is in town." James said.

"Oh, are we having a b-b-q?" Janey asked.

"For tea. Janey, how did you get the marks on your wrists?" James asked. He knew she was more likely to tell him then one of the others.

Janey looked at her wrists as if she hadn't been aware of the bruises around them.

"I stole a car and run away, when they caught me they tied me up that time." Janey said faintly as she turned away rubbing her hands up and down her arms as if to warm herself.

"You tried to run away more then once?" James asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"How did you get away to get home?" He asked after several moments' silence.

Janey was silent for several minutes and James thought she wasn't going to answer his question but finally she spoke.

"There was this one guy. He started stopping the guy who used to hit me all the time from hitting me, and when I run away he ended up buying my ticket home for me." Janey said as she thought of Ren.

"He helped you run away from this other guy?" James asked.

"I was running away from him."

"I thought you said he stopped someone else hurting you." James probed gently.

Janey glanced at him not sure how much she wanted to tell him, but she felt the need to talk about what had happened to her. Finally she turned away as she looked around the familiar room.

"I'm still tired." Janey said with a glance at the lounge.

"Why don't you go up to your room and have a sleep there? No-one will disturb you there." James said.

"I want to stay where everyone is!" Janey said with a worried tone as she turned to face her brother. "Please don't make me go to my room!"

"Well curl up on the lounge or in one of the recliner chairs and I will make sure no-one disturbs you." James told her.

"You're not going to make me go to my room?" Janey asked uncertainly.

"Of course not. Now lay down and try to get back to sleep." James said with a wave at the lounge.

Janey laid down on the lounge and James got a knee rug from one of the recliner chairs and threw over her before leaving the room. Janey sighed softly and closed her eyes; she yawned then snuggled down into the cushion beneath her cheek and was asleep within minutes.

An hour later Marina looked in at her daughter unsure whether to wake her or leave her sleep. Deciding she probably needed the sleep just as much as food Marina left the room silently, she would put food aside for Janey to eat when she woke up.

Outside the house James, Jim and Marina sat down and enjoyed their lunch. As he ate James told his parents what his sister had told him, they discussed her remarks briefly before changing the subject to the coming weekend.

Janey woke up nearly an hour later and got to her feet slowly, she stretched and then headed for the kitchen where she could hear someone working.

"You woke up!" Marina said with a smile when Janey walked into the room.

Janey knodded and looked around the kitchen.

"Is there something I can eat?" She asked softly.

"There's some sausages and steak left from lunch and there's salad in the fridge." Marina said as she rinsed her hands at the kitchen sink.

"Do we have bread?" Janey asked faintly.

"Yes, bread or rolls. Whichever you prefer." Marina answered as she greased a cake tin.

"Are you making brownies?" Janey asked with interest.

"I'm making an orange cake but I can make brownies as well if you like." Marina offered.

"I can make the brownies. I make real good brownies." Janey said proudly as she put several sausages on a plate in the microwave to reheat.

"I though you didn't like cooking." Marina remarked.