She's Gonna Be A Star Ch. 08

"It's five again," he grinned, showing bright white teeth. "If you let me touch them."

"Yes!" I said, before he could lower the number.

His hands lept to my breasts. They were soft, but big and strong, and he had me cupped in his palms while his thumbs rolled over my nipples. I remembered again that we were in public, in broad daylight. We didn't look obvious, but if you looked twice, you'd see what was going on. It was a testament to my actor's exercises at the window every morning that I wasn't nervous or self-conscious at all. I let him feel me up until he stopped (after glancing around suddenly). Then he grabbed the top of my panties, which were sticking out above my jeans, and pulled them away from my tummy. With his other hand, he stuck a five dollar bill deep into my underwear. His knuckles made an electric tingle against my clit.

And then he just turned and walked away, without saying another thing!

"Thank you!" I called out to him.

Tyler grasped me from behind, and kissed the top of my head.

I spun in his arms, smiling. "Did you see all that?"

"Fuck yeah, I did," he laughed. He shook his head. "How the hell did you think this up?"

"Well, Harvey helped," I confessed. I was so pleased with myself, I could hardly keep still. My hands ran over his cheeks, over his broad shoulders. "It's all part of the new me. My new 'humiliation' lifestyle. Do you like it? It's all for you."

He looked serious all of a sudden. "Not just for me," he said. "I want you to be happy. You must only do what makes you happy."

"I'm happy," I said. I couldn't get that dumb smile off my face. "I'm happy making you happy. See my smile?"

"When we get back to my place, you're going to take a shower."

"Okay," I said. "I probably need one."

"And then I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you."

"Yeah," I said. I felt pretty wicked inside just then. I could still feel the man's hands on my tits, like ghost fingers. Or maybe it was Tyler, now, feeling me up. He had a habit of putting his hands on my breasts, whenever he wanted, no matter where we were. I didn't want to break eye contact to check.

"And then I'm going to dress you in something barely legal, and take you out to get drunk," he continued.

"Oh, yeah," I said.

"And get strange men to play with you." He looked at me hungrily.

"By then I'll hardly notice," I said. "You'll watch, right?"

"Why?"

I snorted. "What's the point of letting strangers use me, if you can't see?"

He gave me a look that made me feel yummy inside. Sort of admiring, proud, and happy all rolled into one. "You're wonderful. But you must not worry what I 'see.' I'm always with you, baby. That means you canalways let strangers use you. It's not what I see, it's what I know. Deal?"

"Deal!" We shook hands.

Tyler tied up my shirt -- just one turn twist of the fabric, he said, because he wanted it loose as we walked. And if it flew open, I was supposed to take my time tying it.

I couldn't stop talking as we walked. I told him all about my decision, and why I made it. I confessed that I wasn't sure what humiliation really felt like, but I would probably know it when I felt it.

I told him all about what I planned to do. Some of my new ideas. These are promises that I made to Tyler as we walked back to his apartment.

-Always forget to cross my legs when wearing a skirt.

-Always have some part of my body rubbing against someone in the subway.

-Always try to mention that it's easy to get me into bed.

-Always try to get my skirt caught in my backpack when I pull it up, and leave it there.

-Get a temporary tattoo that reads, "Gloryhole Girl" on my arm (for Tyler).

-Show him my home-made t-shirt that has "C*m bucket" in big black letters.

-Always do what he wants, and suggest more.

"See?" I said. "You're going to be hard for me twenty-four hours a day."

"I can barely believe this," said Tyler softly, almost to himself. He had a grin fixed on his face, but he seemed sort of intense.

"Believe it," I said back to him.