All Comments on 'Shift'

Nicely done!

Good work on this short piece, Witch. No major errors I could find, the encounter is suitably kinky, and it can easily be expanded into further chapters which is ALWAYS a good thing. :)

On a personal note: third-person, present tense can be a jarring style for readers (I always feel like I'm reading a screenplay or stage play when writers use this style). Erotica works best for me when it's third-person, past tense or first-person, present tense. But like I said, that's just personal taste for me; your style is your own, and if your intention is to jar the reader a bit to whack some of the rust off their brains, then you've succeeded here. :)

Now, whatever could be in that toybox...?

Found this in the Story Feedback forum. Delightful read. The courtroom scene struck me as very unrealistic, as well as largely unnecessary. Once the sex started it was awesome.