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"With change," Jane agrees easily.

A wicked gleam grows in her eyes, and she leans down until her face is almost against the brunette's.

"Now, I think you could use some relief, for being such a good girl."

Angela watches with satisfaction as Jane's legs shiver under her weight when she stands up from the bed.

Her own arousal increases immensely when Jane moves to the closet door, that predatory grin on her lips again.

"Let's see what toys we can play with before I go."

Angela just releases a quiet moan as her girlfriend disappears into the closet, wondering what surprises the rest of her day has in store for her...

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MsMahlerMsMahlerabout 9 years ago

Found this in the Story Feedback forum. Delightful read. The courtroom scene struck me as very unrealistic, as well as largely unnecessary. Once the sex started it was awesome.

Areala-chanAreala-chanover 9 years ago
Very Enjoyable!

Good work on this short piece, Witch. No major errors I could find, the encounter is suitably kinky, and it can easily be expanded into further chapters which is ALWAYS a good thing. :)

On a personal note: third-person, present tense can be a jarring style for readers (I always feel like I'm reading a screenplay or stage play when writers use this style). Erotica works best for me when it's third-person, past tense or first-person, present tense. But like I said, that's just personal taste for me; your style is your own, and if your intention is to jar the reader a bit to whack some of the rust off their brains, then you've succeeded here. :)

Now, whatever could be in that toybox...?

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Yummy

Nicely done!

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