by twistedsickmind
Becoming mentally and emotionally aware of self is a scary adventure. The author has actually described the process fairly accurately. Congratulations. I hope the rest of the series is as well grounded.
Interesting, erotic, involving ! Curious to read more, thank you for an intense story.
I want to point out one thing that took me a bit of time to see. The shift in time between paragraph one and paragraph two is quite sudden and if one misses, as did I, the very first word of P2, one is confused into believing (briefly) that it is still the little girl's experience. A little clarification might help.
Other than that, I am happy to say you have created something extremely easily read that exhibits none of the usual word confusions (they're, there, their) or poor grammar or punctuation. Well done!
More.
Extraordinarily good writing, a very different slant on the story from the usual but very good all the same. I'm looking forward to where this might be going.
Mother/ Daughter carnal relations are not high on list of erotic kickstarters. Fine writing is, however, the search for a real connection, casting aside illusion is a universal theme. To be sure , the writing has a self-conciously camp veneer encasing its message. I can deal. No problem-full marks. *****
Hope you can keep up the paradigm shift dream/reality concept in future chapters. This has the potential to be an outstanding story.
This story was hot. I really liked the character and plot development. The attention to detail brought the story to life in living color. Even though I am a male I found myself imaging I was a female who lusted after her daughter wanting to taste her, feel her, to drive her wild until she begged me to stop.
Nicely done reeled me in to leave me with an invitation. I accept your invitation.
Really beautifully observed settings and descriptions. Love how you're developing her mindset. Looking fotward to reading the next chapter and thanks for writing