Ship of Fools

"When she realized how Alex had used her she was so ashamed. She loves you so much, how do you think she felt when she realized how she had been going on and on about the great sex at the Halloween party - but that it wasn't you. How do you think she feels knowing that she's the cause for your pain even though she was the one sexually assaulted - yes, assaulted. Alex assaulted her; he forced the situation, he stole from her, and from you too."

"You can't blame everything on Alex." That was as close as Steve could come to blaming himself for his part.

"Oh yes I can Steven." Cathy saw the uncertainty in Steven's eyes. "On the boat, Debbie started figuring things out. She followed you when you left the casino. Then Alex, that bastard, convinced her that you and I were having a torrid affair; that it had been going on for some time. Oh but poor, poor Alex found out and was forced to accept it or have both marriages break up. Can't you see what a mind trip he was putting on her?"

"Yeah, but..." Steven hit empty. Had he thrown everything away over so little? Was he going to let it all go...because of Alex?

"Did you know he had a video camera in our cabin? He said it was for him only; he had a fantasy of seeing another man have sex with me. Maybe he would have used it to blackmail you, maybe threaten to show it to Deb. When you turned up missing and Deb was frantic his sordid little game began to fall apart."

Steven looked down at the floor. "I didn't know that."

"Then you show up stinking of some girl. That's why you have to apologize first. Then Debbie can apologize to you." Cathy knew he was close to seeing things her way. "Can't you see that Steve? Can't you see how much it hurt Debbie...she's the biggest victim here?"

"I guess that makes me the biggest idiot." Steven sagged back into the cushions of the couch and stared into space. He shook his head. "I have a confession, I didn't do anything with that other woman; just some kissing. Mostly we just talked, it was here idea that I tell Debbie we'd had sex; I wanted to hurt her."

"What is with you? Do you get off playing games with women or what?" Cathy stood up and glared at him, then blushed and looked down at the floor. "Because I know I don't turn you on...I mean, God Steven there I was already naked. Primed and ready as it were. Do you have any idea how humiliating that kind of rejection is? I had a husband who cheated on me whenever the opportunity presented itself; Debbie wasn't the only one you know. And then there's you - the Man with the Golden Tongue - Debbie was always bragging about how good you did her. I guess I shouldn't be surprised you weren't interested in me - you've never even hit on me."

Steven was confused and stunned. "You're wrong Cathy. You have no idea how hard it was not taking advantage of you. I've always had a thing for you, and Alex knew it. He always kidded me about it. Under different circumstances I would have gladly made love to you. That night in your cabin, I wanted to do it. I have too much respect for you to do anything against your will. I know that sounds kind of corny, but..."

"Actually I think it sounds very sweet. Thank you for saying that Steven, that means a lot to me." Cathy put her glass down and stood up. "Okay. Well I've said what I came here to say. So since men don't seem to find me attractive enough to want to do anything about it I will go home to my lonely house and proudly take care of my own unmet needs."

Steve smirked as Cathy thrust out her chest and walked toward the door. "Lonely house? - I think it sounds like a lucky house, if you ash me. Ask me. Whoa, I'm feeling pretty buzzed."

"Oh really, is that what you think?" Cathy stopped and faced Steve unbuttoning the top button of her blouse. "Is this a lucky house Steven?"

Steven watched as Cathy slowly stripped. He tried to tell her to stop, then wondered why on earth he wanted that. Good Lord what a body! Cathy swayed slowly in her panties and bra or was he the one swaying? There went the bra - oh fuck - he remembered those nipples. Steven was having trouble standing, so he stopped trying. Cathy was pulling his pants down and Steven couldn't stop her - why should he. "Oh fuck."

**********

"You drugged me last night." Steven tried to sound angry but he was too mellow after a long night of sex. All resistance evaporated when Cathy had sat down on his cock. She used him and he had to admit he wasn't sorry.

"Guilty! I got a hold of the stuff Alex used on me. I put one in you beer yesterday, plus I added a Viagra." Cathy smiled, oh she felt bad about drugging Steven and using him, but she was feeling pretty good herself. "That said, the effect of the drugs only lasts a couple of hours. That means from about ten o'clock on it was all you buddy-boy. And I mean all of you."

"Why?" Steven was surprised by his calmness. He wasn't ready to admit to feeling good about last night, but he wasn't feeling guilty either, nor any anger.

"It was time to wrap up this part of my life. Basically I really wanted you...bad. Being ignored that night on the ship messed with my head. I know that sounds crazy but I needed this. Plus I'm planning on moving away from here and I doubt that I'll be back. Finally, I had to do something to get you out of your funk. Now that you've cheated on Debbie maybe you can talk with her, meet her on even ground." Cathy put her hand over Steven's mouth when he started to object. "I know, I know, it's not the same. I took advantage of you, I admit that. Kind of the same way that Alex took advantage of Deb."

Steven relaxed and let his objection become a kiss to Cathy's fingers. "I'm not drugged now and I don't need a Viagra."

Cathy looked down his body and smiled, "No you don't."

**********

Steven watched Cathy drive off. It had been a crazy forty-eight hours. He walked slowly back to his apartment got a beer and sat down to watch some Sport Center highlights. Between his second and third beer he reached for the phone and dialed.

"Hi its me. Well actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to say I'm sorry Deb - for everything. Oh really, you think it's that simple. Okay. Look I'm willing to try if you are. Just so you know, I've changed...I'm not the guy who left with his tail between his legs. I know, I know...but that's how I felt. Look wouldn't you prefer to talk face to face. Okay good bye. Oh and Deb...I love you. Oh don't cry sweetheart. It'll be all right."

TWO MONTHS LATER

Steven stowed his golf clubs in the garage and walked into the kitchen. Beer in hand he was thinking of some TV when he noticed the message machine blinking. He pushed the button:

Cathy: Hi guys it's me. I guess you're both busy so I'll make this quick. I got the job in California and they want me to start ASAP. So the short version is...

Debbie: Cathy it's me, don't hang up I just got back from the store. How are you? Steve and I were just talking about you this morning. He's out golfing right now.

Cathy: Well as I was saying I got the California job. I'm flying out Monday morning. Once I get established I'll come back and settle everything here.

Debbie: Ohmigod, that's great about the job, we're going to miss you though.

Cathy: Well I guess that's what happens. God, I can't believe I going to be living on the other side of the country. Everyone I know will be so far away. Oh and I'm sure you'll like this; I've decided it's time for me to start dating."

Debbie: That's great! I hope you get laid well and often.

Cathy: Me too! I'm not looking for anything serious; I think I need to have some fun for a while. Not that I'm opposed to meeting anyone special...its just guys like Steve aren't easy to find.

Debbie: Don't I know it? (giggle)

Cathy: Speaking of Steve. Did you ever tell him about...?

Debbie: Please don't go there. Steve and I are together and I mean to keep it that way.

Cathy: Okay...I just think he has a right to know that...

Steven looked down at the message recorder as it flashed "memory full." The words thundered in his head, "KNOW ABOUT WHAT?"