- How To
- Show or Tell
- Page 2
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"Hey sexy!" His moronic shout caused his friends to look over.
I stormed over to him, "What the fuck did you do to Sarah you asshole!"
He walked over to me, "Ahh, sexy, it was just some fun. A guy's gotta get some laughs yah know. She ain't half as good as you."
I walked out as he shrugged, the fuckhead didn't deserve to see me cry."
A slightly more 'mature' setting gives us an example with a little more 'history' between the girls and a slightly harder focus on the friendship. From PERDITA:
She hates both of us now. After forty years of friendship this experience was new; I never expected to meet Casanova at my age.
Lily knew I wanted him yet she couldn't resist his sexual manipulation and promise. He studied us, I learned too late. Not going out of our circle to learn more about a man was unlike me. I'm angrier at myself than at him.
He caught her through me, dispassionately using my love to seduce my best friend. More cruelly, he used her and tossed her aside like ordinary waste, laughing about it to my face. I could only weep as he shrugged inhumanly and walked away as if from a hit-and-run; only I wasn't dead and managed to walk away myself.
But for Lily, my friend with a heart as fragile as moth wings, I must forego my now petty injury to bring her back to herself and to me, to love and life and the possibilities that remain for the mature ladies of our world.
Why should we "show" not "tell"? Why "illustrate" a bald statement? WILDSWEETONE sums it up:
"When I read something that sounds flat or excludes me as a reader, I know it has more 'tell' than 'show'."
So there we are. The how and the why, but take heed, don't go overboard with the 'flowery language' but don't give lists. Don't concentrate exclusively on synonyms but do avoid repetition. Above all try to find where, when and how much to "Show Don't Tell".
- COMMENTS
DarkAurther6969about 1 year agoI Agree I do the same whenever I'm reading a story on Lit or any where else that a Paragraph or more Describing the character or the story's sitting I usually Roll My Eyes Back and skip the rest of the Story. As I Had Began calling those Mini Profiles. And hat is why I usually leave all of that out in My Own Personal Works (Which By The Way Well Never See The Light Of Day On This Site, Not By Choice Again By The Way) Anyways as I like for the Reader to imagine their own version of that character or sitting. I just Provide the Walls and Celling of the Story it's Up To The Reader on how they would like to Decorate that Metaphoric Building. For Example if I where to say "He could help but steer at her Breasts..." it's up the Reader to fell the rest out as some might Imagine the woman In question have a Size B while Most Might Imagine the woman in question having a nice pair of Size DD Breasts. Everyone is a Little Deferent. And I would a go a little further to say I Treat Dialog the same such as "I can't Believe you Fucked her Behind my back you cheating Shit!!" in this case I like to leave it up to the Readers if the woman in that example has an accent or not and if she does what kind?
TheOriginalAnonymousabout 11 years agoI only skimmed, as it wasn't what I was looking for (I found what I was looking for elsewhere), but still found it informative. A carefully constructed point/counter-point that allows the writer to figure out the best way he or she can proceed. Excellent use of examples.
Virgin_Whore_Babyabout 17 years agobut what the fuck are "peanut smuggling credentials"?
zephrbabealmost 20 years agoI really liked this How To, because it illustrated each author's individuality, and demonstrated that it (a) isn't always easy to write in "Show" mode, and (b) that everyone has their own level of description.
The only downside was that I felt like gauchecritic was showcasing the authors. Not much of a downside, but i try to balance these things.
