Shutdown Fever

"You and that supposed friend of mine are lucky I didn't come upstairs and beat you to death with that hammer. Tell that bastard to stay out of my way. If he ever shows up on a job site where I'm working he may not survive. I've taken my stuff and I won't be back. If I left anything you can do whatever you want with it. I'll let you explain to Bobby why I'm not around anymore."

She was still sniffling and quietly sobbing as she got up to go and see what had fallen on the floor. When she picked it up and saw that it was Hugh's wedding band she collapsed to her knees on the floor, and the tears and loud sobbing returned.

************

Hugh slept the sleep of the dead, not waking up until 6 p.m. It was the urgent need to have a pee that woke him, and he quickly got up and used the bathroom. It wasn't until he walked back into the main part of the motel room that the full memory of the previous night's events came back to hit him. He stopped in his tracks; his mind flooded with the pain of the previous night, and he finally sat on the edge of the bed as he wondered what he should do next.

The next half hour was spent sorting through his clothing, finding the items he would need in order to leave the room for some supper. Hunger had become his main concern as he hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours. The last meal he'd had was a quick burger and fries at a truck stop along the highway on his way home. Once he was dressed he called the desk to keep the room for the next couple of days, and then grabbed his cell phone and headed out for supper.

There was a nice looking Cafe a block away from the motel so he pulled in. Once he was seated and had placed his order, he took out his cell phone and turned it on. Almost immediately it rang, and he could see by the caller ID that it was his wife's cell phone number. He shut off the phone and stuck it back in his pocket. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to that bitch, he said to himself. As he sat and thought about everything that had happened, he glanced at the window he was seated beside, and got a good look at his own reflection. He realized he hadn't combed his hair or had a shave before he left the motel. So much for thinking he was his normal self.

The meal looked very good but Hugh found that it was tasteless to him. All he could think of was what he had stumbled upon when he came home unexpectedly. How many times had that bitch visited his friends while he worked on jobs out of town? He would never have thought her capable of it, but the proof had been there in front of him. Suddenly the thought that perhaps his own sister had known about this all along crossed his mind, and his anger returned. After careful thought, though, he realized she must not have known what Donna was up to, or she would have called her and warned her. He decided to call Kathy to let her know that he was all right.

When he flipped on his cell phone, he was advised that he had voicemail messages. He listened to the first three of them, but found they were all variations of the same message. Donna was sorry; she was crying; she begged for his forgiveness; she begged him to call her. As he continued through the messages he pressed the button to delete the message as soon as he heard her voice. It wasn't until the 7th message that the voice of his sister came through to him. He listened to that one.

"Hugh, please call and let me know you're all right. Donna called me this morning, and she's a basket case. It took a while, but I finally got her to tell me what was wrong. She says you've left her; that you took all of your stuff and moved out. Call me as soon as you get this message."

The next nine messages were from Donna, and he deleted them all without listening to them. The last message was another one from his sister, begging him to give her a call. He sat and stared at the phone, undecided about what he should do. It sounded like Donna hadn't told Kathy what was really going on. He ordered a cup of coffee, and after it arrived he punched in his sister's number. It rang four times and then switched to her answering machine, so he left her his message.

"It doesn't sound like that bitch told you the whole story about why I left. Allison Black went to California the weekend I went out of town. Donna was over there with Jerry, and they weren't playing cards in the kitchen. I'll be arranging for a divorce as soon as I can contact the lawyer. You can tell her to quit calling me because I won't listen to any more of her messages. After the first three I just deleted them all. I'll maybe call you again tomorrow or someday soon. Bye."

Hugh spent the next hour sipping his coffee and two refills. He couldn't really believe that his happy marriage had gone down the crapper so quickly. He tried to think back over his years with Donna, searching for any memory that might have suggested she was going to be unfaithful to him. He couldn't think of anything, but felt he obviously must have missed something. How could she go from devoted wife to cheating slut right under his nose? His eyes filled again with tears as he thought about the good times, and there had been many.

Eventually he left and drove aimlessly around the town for a while before finally returning to his motel room. The long sleep he'd had, and the cups of coffee he'd drunk, kept him awake, and so he busied himself with sorting out his hurriedly packed possessions. The room had a dial up Internet connection so he set up his laptop. The next hour passed quickly as he did some banking on the Internet, moving his share of their joint accounts into his own personal savings account. He made a point of not taking every last cent he was entitled to. He wanted to take the high ground in this whole sordid mess.

It was Saturday night, and he knew that most of the guys from the Union would be in the Midway Bar. By 11 o'clock he was finished with his banking and sorting operations, and decided to clean up and head down to the bar to see if any of the guys knew what jobs were available. He had decided that the best solution would be to find a good out of town job to get him away from Donna and Jerry, before he reconsidered his decision to not beat them to death. He was beginning to have major anger issues, and hanging around this town was not going to help them he was sure.

A half hour later he was seated with three other Hoisting Engineers, men he had worked with often in the past. He quickly found out that the best job on the board right then was in Alaska, constructing a large pumping station for North Slope oil. It meant working six week stretches with two weeks off. There were openings for crane operators as not too many men wanted to take these jobs that required so much time out of town. He thought to himself, 'This sounds ideal. I can get away from that bitch, and make enough money to set myself up with my own place somewhere.' After two beers with the boys he excused himself, and headed back to the motel, a fresh plan in mind.

By Wednesday morning he had accomplished a lot. He hired a lawyer to initiate divorce proceedings using irreconcilable differences as the reason, and left the lawyer a list of what items he had taken and what he had left, along with his email address. The Union office had set him up with the contractors doing the Alaska project, and he had signed all the papers committing himself to a minimum six week stretch on the North Slope. He'd found a storage company to take his meager possessions and hold them for him while he was away. Over the last few days he had deleted another two dozen voicemail messages from Donna. He hadn't listened to any of them. His one call to his sister was again answered by the machine, so he simply told her that he would be in touch and then cancelled his cell phone service.

On Wednesday morning at 11 a.m. he caught the first flight of a complicated series of connections that would get him to the North Slope worksite by Thursday night. He felt nothing but relief as his plane taxied away from the boarding tunnel. His car was at the long-term storage lot, his bags were in the hold of the plane, his laptop was in the overhead compartment, and he was starting to put distance between himself and the source of the aching, empty feeling in his chest. As the plane took off he leaned back and closed his eyes, but all he could see was the happy couple standing with the smiling little boy, the photo that had been taken the day they had been married.

The next week was a dizzying series of plane trips; a long ride jammed into a 'school bus' that took him to the camp; a two day indoctrination and safety seminar; getting comfortable in his 10' x 12' dormitory room; and spending his first three 12 hour shifts hoisting pipes and equipment on the job site. The work was tedious, the meals were rushed, and the alarm rang much too early.

The morning of his fourth workday Hugh awoke feeling much better, much more in tune with his new circumstances. After this shift he would set up his laptop, email his sister, and begin taking stock of the features of his temporary home. Up to this point he had done nothing but work, eat and sleep. He had been largely able to avoid thinking about Donna, and her adultery, but knew it was time to begin his own healing, and the best way to do that would be to approach it head on.

That evening when his shift was finished and he headed for the cafeteria, Hugh decided to pay attention, and his new interest in learning more about his surroundings was rewarded. Off in the corner of the cafeteria he was surprised to see a man he knew well. Frank Carpenter had been one of Hugh's best friends in high school, but they had drifted apart over time, mainly because Hugh was married and Frank was not.

"Frank, how the hell are you? I'm surprised to see you up here. How long have you been up in Alaska?" Hugh sat in the empty seat across from his old friend, and extended his hand for a firm handshake.

"My brother works at your Union hall, and he told me about the jobs up here. I've had my ticket with the Teamsters for a few years now, and I've been up here for three weeks as a truck driver. So far I'm doing fine; it's not too bad when you get used to the fact that there's nowhere to go but this work camp and the job site." Frank appeared to be as happy as Hugh was to have run into someone he knew.

The two men carried on a pleasant conversation, getting caught up on the changes in their lives since they had last gotten together. Eventually the conversation worked its way around to Hugh's life, and after a short hesitation to gather his thoughts, Hugh explained his new circumstances to Frank.

"Well, things went for a crap in my marriage a couple of weeks ago. I got sent home early from a job in Minnesota, just in time to catch my wife with Jerry Black. I moved out and now I'm in the process of getting a divorce. Just goes to show you that it's when you get too comfortable that things can come along to surprise the hell out of you." Hugh's cheerful demeanor had disappeared and he looked up at Frank rather glumly.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Hugh. Jerry's been a pussy hound for a long time. It's too bad your wife fell for his line of bullshit," said Frank, a sympathetic look on his face.

"I have no idea who was chasing who, Frank. I haven't spoken to the cheating bitch since it happened. I was afraid I would lose it, and that would just make matters even worse."

Frank was hesitant to continue, but finally said, "You probably should talk to her. I know what Jerry's like, and he may have had a lot more to do with it than she did. I've seen you and your wife out a few times, and I always got the impression she was pretty devoted to you. She was always hanging on your arm making it obvious that you were her man."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I already decided this morning that I would contact my sister by email. She and my wife have been as thick as thieves since high school. My sister can probably fill me in enough to let me decide whether I should take a chance on speaking to my ex. There I go already, calling her my ex when I don't think the papers have even been served yet." Hugh shook his head, and laughed at his Freudian slip.

The two friends got onto different subjects and spent the next half hour in animated conversation. Eventually they left the cafeteria and went their separate ways. Hugh wanted to get his computer set up, to see if the Internet connection that was promised really did work.

When he finally got the laptop set up and online he was able to access his email, something he hadn't done since before his trip to Minnesota. It took him almost a half hour to delete the spam his account had accumulated, as he didn't want to delete everything en masse in case he missed something important. He was surprised to notice that Donna hadn't thought to send him emails the way she had bombarded his voicemail with her messages. Perhaps she didn't have the computer working, but he expected she had probably simply not thought of it.

After a bit of thought, Hugh composed his message to his sister. He sincerely hoped that he wasn't making a mistake, but at least with email he could say exactly what he wanted to say without interruption. He read it over again before sending it on its way.

********

Hi Kathy;

I never was able to get through to you on the phone, so I thought I better send you a message to let you know where I am. I'm working at a job on the North Slope of Alaska. I got here a week ago and will be up here for at least another five weeks.

I'm assuming that by now you know the whole story from Donna. I never thought that she could do such a thing to us, and it has taken me until now to feel like I could even talk about it comfortably. The distance between us helps a lot though.

She probably hasn't received the papers yet, but I have set the wheels in motion to get a divorce. I feel really bad about the effect on Bobby. Have you been able to see how he's been doing? I considered trying to get to see him before I left, but I was afraid that that would just be harder on him than if I just plain disappeared from his life. He doesn't deserve to be caught in the middle of this.

You can give this email address to Donna, as I would like to hear what she has to say for herself. Be sure to tell her not to start sending message after message to me like she did on the phone. It she starts that again I'll just cancel this email account, and set up a fresh one somewhere else.

Hugh.

********

When he was finished Hugh closed the laptop and leaned back. He was beginning to have second thoughts about having suggested that Donna contact him. He wasn't sure what he would want to hear from his cheating spouse. He closed his eyes for a moment, and the familiar scene from his favorite wedding picture played in his mind again.

It wasn't until the next evening after supper that Hugh checked his email again, and sure enough, there were messages from both Kathy and Donna. He decided to read the one from his sister, and would decide whether he should read Donna's message at all after he had read what Kathy had to say.

********

My Dear Brother;

Thank you so much for contacting me. I've been worried sick about you. Nobody seemed to know where you had disappeared to, not even the people I spoke with at the union office. Maybe they were just keeping your confidence, but if they knew, I wish they would have told me. I won't even tell you some of the things that ran through my mind.

The reason you were unable to reach me at home is that I was either at Donna's or the hospital. That Saturday morning, after you let her know that you knew about her and Jerry, she lost it completely. She called and told me the version I told you about, but she sounded so bad I went over to comfort her. When I got to her place I found her in the bathtub. She was crying hysterically, and I could see two empty pill bottles on the counter. She was trying to pick up a razor blade from the edge of the tub, but she was so out of it she wasn't able to get hold of it. I called for an ambulance, and they took her in to have her stomach pumped.

The psychiatrist on call gave her a prescription for some antidepressants, and they discharged her two days later. She seems to be doing OK now, but I check on her at least twice every day.

Once she was under control again she explained to me what had happened, and you're right, at first she didn't explain the whole story honestly. She has told me everything now, and I believe she's told me the truth. I'm not going to repeat what she told me back to you, just in case I get something a little wrong. I told her to email you and tell you herself. She's going to CC me when she writes to you, and I will let you know if she doesn't tell you the same things that she told me.

It's a good thing you deleted all of those messages from her. I was there when some of them were made, and they were so incoherent and rambling you wouldn't have been able to make any sense of them anyway. She made a lot of them from the hospital before her prescription kicked in.

I honestly believe she loves you, and truly regrets everything that happened. I really hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her, as I think you two belong together.

Your loving sister, Kathy.

********

Hugh felt he had enough to think about after having read Kathy's message, so he left Donna's message unread. Instead he reread Kathy's message over and over, before finally shutting off the computer and going to bed. He lay there awake for two hours thinking about Donna and the good times they'd had, before finally drifting off to a restless sleep.

The following evening Hugh lingered over his supper, knowing that he would have to decide whether he should read Donna's email when he got back to his room. Finally, after having a third cup of coffee, he made the conscious decision to return to his room and read what Donna had to say for herself. For some reason he could feel his heart pounding as he opened the email.

********

My Dear Hugh;

Thank you so much for letting me write you. I realize that I probably have no right to ask anything of you, but I do want you to know how much it means to me that you will finally talk to me, even if it is only by email. I so much want to hear your voice.

First, I want to tell you that Bobby seems to be doing well. My mother had him for a few days when Kathy was tied up with helping me. The rest of the time either I have had him at home or he has been with your sister and her family. I have told him that I did something wrong, and that you are angry with me. I think he understands that. He has asked about you often, though, and I know it makes him very sad that you are not here.

I feel so badly that I have betrayed your trust in me. It is not something I have done before, and it is something I will never do again, if you give me the chance to prove that. Please know that I really and truly love you.

I'm not sure just what to say about what happened with Jerry Black. I don't know how much you want to hear about it. I'll give you a brief explanation of what happened, but if you want me to tell you more, just ask me. I'll do whatever you want.

I was with him at his home twice. The second time was the night you caught me over there, and the first time was the previous Friday night.

That first Friday he called me just after lunch, and asked me if I would like to come by for some barbecued burgers, since both you and Allison were away. I didn't think it would be a problem, so I agreed. Well, after the burgers we had a few glasses of wine, and it really hit me. We ended up necking and making out on the couch. I knew it was wrong, but I didn't think it was going to lead where it did. I ended up staying overnight on his sofa. Somehow he was able to convince me that having oral sex wasn't really having sex. That's all that happened that time.